I wrote a charming, thoughtful, anecdotal bio here (a bit more than Amazon's suggested minimum of twenty words), a longish bio -- but NOT boring in any way -- that you would have really, really liked. It was all about love and home, and honor and loyalty, and grace and faith -- and then I managed... show more
I wrote a charming, thoughtful, anecdotal bio here (a bit more than Amazon's suggested minimum of twenty words), a longish bio -- but NOT boring in any way -- that you would have really, really liked. It was all about love and home, and honor and loyalty, and grace and faith -- and then I managed to delete it, by accident. It was really good and entertaining. It had some cute stories about my dog. It was also very creative, which Amazon suggests your Amazon biography should be, and they know what they're talking about. Anyway it was really creative, kind of magically realist, but also existential. It had a long bit of auto-fiction in it that I made up about myself -- I think it was one or two paragraphs where I reflected on my childhood while in an airplane restroom. Something about something bad that happened to me in nursery school, can't remember what it was -- anyway it was fiction. It included some interesting details about me, which Amazon tells you are good things to share with readers. I can't remember which of the many, many interesting details about me I chose to include, which my computer then deleted, but here are some others: I'm not very tall but my arches are very high. My brother lives in Scarsdale. I had an aunt who studied bats. Now you have a feeling for the kind of interesting details about myself that you sadly missed out on. I just wanted to give you the flavor.Also this bio,now lost to posterity, included -- as all my writing famously does -- some very funny jokes. And wise advice about writing and word counts, which would have been a huge help to all you aspiring writers out there, and there was some important stuff in there about how you have to force yourself to write every damn day. Like Hem. I think, if I am recalling correctly, I mentioned something about the past not being dead and buried, and I added that, as far as I'm concerned, the past isn't even past. That's a good one, I think. But maybe I didn't put that in. Not sure. Also I think I advised serious writers to use fountain pens and unlined paper because it makes you more creative. I know that's a question writers get asked a lot: what kind of pen do you use to write. Actually I only write on the computer. But in spite of this I also added a biting cut about how computers are ruining writing, which is proved by the fact that my computer deleted this gemlike masterpiece. I like to write funny and emotional and this bio I lost was funny and emotional. It is tragic that I can't remember what it said and that you will never get to read it. I wish this new one were funny and emotional too, but ya can't do that twice in one day; ask any writer! I'm almost certain I had a section in there about how meaningful it is to write about other places and the people who live in them. Yeah, I did, definitely -- I remember that. Lost forever! It was sincere, too. I really meant it.