Hang in there man. I know it's easier said than done. I have all that shit, too. The worst is the bi-polar disorder because I can feel the depressive cycle coming on and it scares the hell out of me because I never know how far I will fall.
I've been seeing a shrink for over a year. I've discovered what my triggers are and I think I've turned the corner.
I know I can quit. I've done it before. Now it's the necessary evil. I'm hoping to become more active again. But lately, all I've wanted to do is sleep, cry, smoke and die. Mostly I've just been sleeping and binge watching stuff on Netflix though.
I understand those feels, or something like them. I've been there. I hate smoking, so I ate my feels, which can be just as bad for you!
Anyway, yeah, I remember talking to someone about Bowie and heroin and his hallucinations and quitting. (His brother had schizophrenia, so my friend's theory was he was so freaked out about it being genetic, that he gave himself a false kind of schizophrenia that he could control by quitting.)
I don't know why, but that seemed relevant, maybe because, y'know, heroin seems like it might be just as hard, if not harder to kick. (I've never done illegal drugs, and I smoked half a cigarette a day for two weeks in college - so I don't know. The only thing I've gone cold turkey on has been coke.)
Ah, maybe I'm just rambling to try and distract you. I know that kinda helped when I was struggling with depression. Regardless, I really, really hope you feel better soon!
I've been seeing a shrink for over a year. I've discovered what my triggers are and I think I've turned the corner.
keep working hard with your psychologist.
Honestly, if smoking is getting you through today, then you can deal with the consequences tomorrow.
Anyway, yeah, I remember talking to someone about Bowie and heroin and his hallucinations and quitting. (His brother had schizophrenia, so my friend's theory was he was so freaked out about it being genetic, that he gave himself a false kind of schizophrenia that he could control by quitting.)
I don't know why, but that seemed relevant, maybe because, y'know, heroin seems like it might be just as hard, if not harder to kick. (I've never done illegal drugs, and I smoked half a cigarette a day for two weeks in college - so I don't know. The only thing I've gone cold turkey on has been coke.)
Ah, maybe I'm just rambling to try and distract you. I know that kinda helped when I was struggling with depression. Regardless, I really, really hope you feel better soon!