This review touches so many personal points, I don't know where to start.
I'm a POC carer like Jose except I'm British. I haven't read the book so I may be misconstruing your analysis of it, but some of the things you've attributed to racism, cultural values and how it fails to point out Jose's hard work, I've accepted as realities of caring. Although I appreciate that institutional racism is more of an issue in the States than in the UK.
I've sacrificed a university education and many other things to care for my mother. (I had to drop out 3 months in and then turn down offers from other universities as they weren't close to where we lived.) I've also put her health at risk in order to achieve something that meant a great deal to me career-wise, for which I've apologised and she's accepted because that's what she would've wanted if she could've said so at the time. I desperately wanted to feel a sense of personal achievement for something not tied to my mother.
When you sacrifice so much, things like a little piece of paper can mean a great deal, more than the health and happiness of your loved ones. It can be the only thing that's keeping you going. I also blame myself for not catching my mother's encephalitis earlier, in January of this year. In hindsight there were signs and I didn't act on them. I know that I shouldn't blame myself, that I acted when it counted and saved her life, but I still feel guilty. I still play the What If game.
I haven't cared for my mother out of cultural responsibility but out of love and a need to repay her for caring for me as a child and the sacrifices she made in order to bring me up as a single parent struggling with depression and multiple, severe and chronic anxiety disorders. She could've put me into the care system and who knows how I would've turned out. I also know that if I didn't care for my mother, she wouldn't live very long. She requires the type of individualized care that only expensive hired help could maintain now that she has inflammatory arthritis, the drug treatments for which are toxic and can be life-threatening. And I'm not rich. Unfortunately.
I have been treated with suspicion and have been subjected to criticism for caring for my mother. Some of that criticism has come from the people closest to me but it's also been nurses, doctors and my secondary school teachers. I've earned the respect of a couple of those health professionals now but it wasn't automatically given to me. Looking younger than my age, people tend to underestimate my abilities or think it odd and unnatural that I should be so selfless, that they think I'm playing at being a martyr. Grr!
I know that young adult literature is sometimes viewed as a chance to point out and critique the best and worst of society but there are also books that just provide snapshots of life as it is. It can provide better fodder for discussion. I know that I had a similar experience with Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak. The protagonist is raped and we see no consequences for the perpetrator. There's much victim blaming and yet very little in the way of supportive voices. And I'm not sure, but I think it's studied in schools now and is a popular book club read.
I would also say that there's a difference between stripping someone of their cultural identity and integration. Integration is necessary in order to get by. To learn the native language and to make an attempt at learning some cultural norms to fit in and be accepted, for instance. When in Rome and all that. However, caring is a time-consuming activity and partaking in hobbies or observing in religious or other cultural traditions is an exceptionally low priority. I rarely cook or eat the food of the Barbadian side of my heritage. Most of the time I make what's fast, easy and as healthy as possible. Sometimes just doing the bare minimum of ensuring I maintain my manners and politeness is a bit of a struggle. That's why there's occasionally weeks between posts on my blog.
I'm sorry for getting so personal and for the unexpected length of my comment. The issues just touched a little too close to home. I hope I haven't offended you. I apologise if I've overstepped or misunderstood.
Thank you for reading my review and replying. I appreciate you sharing your personal experience, but I don't think it's really relevant to this book for a number of reasons. Before I continue I want to reassure you that your lived-in experiences are valid and not something I can or would ever judge.
I, myself, am a POC with a disabled mother. I've made similar choices as you and struggled with guilt as well, but we are not the same people. Our experiences are very different because of our different ethnicities, nationalities and various other key factors in how both the world treats us and how we've been taught to view ourselves.
Likewise neither one of our experiences are at all comparable to the life and choices of an undocumented, Latino (Mexican) boy living in America. At the start of your comment you dismissed Jose's race and nationality in order to relate his choices to yours, but those are two very significant differences that inform not only how he would view his roll in his family and opportunities in life, but the specific types of oppression he faces as a POC.
That last bit is very relevant to my review and point that how his father (along with the rest of his family) were depicted was racist. It was not my intention to pass judgement on Jose's choice, but on the author's choice to depict the complexity and consequences of that choice as simple and easy, but above all else the choice to frame it as the BEST choice. That is not only unrealistic, it is irresponsible. Because there is not Best or Right choice when it comes to these kinds of situations.
Some how somewhere someone always has to make a sacrifice. Someone be it the disabled parent or the child will feel selfish, guilty or betrayed in some way. It is not fair or easy, but it is the reality of these kinds of situations. That doesn't mean we don't still have to make these hard choices. My issue is the way the author took this complex choice and made it seem simple and easy. He ignored the consequences of either choice and by doing so painted Jose's father as a burden to be overcome rather than a human being with a disability.
I didn't go into it in this great detail because the review was already overly long, but I'm glad you brought it up so we could discuss it more. I agree that a degree is more than a piece of paper, just as a disabled parent is a great deal more than an obstacle which their children need to overcome in order to reach their dreams. This story should have shown that, but it didn't. It distilled it down, throwing a disabled person under a bus, in favor of high lighting the importance of an education.
As for assimilation or integration, that's a complex personal issue too. I'm speaking to fictionalized stories that are prevalent in America that glorify those who assimilate into Western culture. There is a long complex history to these stories, and these permeate every genre of literature in the US and Western Europe. These stories try to simplify the issue as well, making POC who haven't assimilated fully look like villains or clowns, while painting those who have as promising role models. Like I said Language is a skill that gives us opportunities, but people shouldn't be oppressed or marginalized simply because they lack that skill. Stories like these imply that it is their fault and they cause their own oppression which simply isn't true. We have to behave and conform to the dominant culture because of racism and xenophobia, because people will not treat us like people unless we act like them. While that is a fact of life for many POC that doesn't make it right or okay.
I'm a POC carer like Jose except I'm British. I haven't read the book so I may be misconstruing your analysis of it, but some of the things you've attributed to racism, cultural values and how it fails to point out Jose's hard work, I've accepted as realities of caring. Although I appreciate that institutional racism is more of an issue in the States than in the UK.
I've sacrificed a university education and many other things to care for my mother. (I had to drop out 3 months in and then turn down offers from other universities as they weren't close to where we lived.) I've also put her health at risk in order to achieve something that meant a great deal to me career-wise, for which I've apologised and she's accepted because that's what she would've wanted if she could've said so at the time. I desperately wanted to feel a sense of personal achievement for something not tied to my mother.
When you sacrifice so much, things like a little piece of paper can mean a great deal, more than the health and happiness of your loved ones. It can be the only thing that's keeping you going. I also blame myself for not catching my mother's encephalitis earlier, in January of this year. In hindsight there were signs and I didn't act on them. I know that I shouldn't blame myself, that I acted when it counted and saved her life, but I still feel guilty. I still play the What If game.
I haven't cared for my mother out of cultural responsibility but out of love and a need to repay her for caring for me as a child and the sacrifices she made in order to bring me up as a single parent struggling with depression and multiple, severe and chronic anxiety disorders. She could've put me into the care system and who knows how I would've turned out. I also know that if I didn't care for my mother, she wouldn't live very long. She requires the type of individualized care that only expensive hired help could maintain now that she has inflammatory arthritis, the drug treatments for which are toxic and can be life-threatening. And I'm not rich. Unfortunately.
I have been treated with suspicion and have been subjected to criticism for caring for my mother. Some of that criticism has come from the people closest to me but it's also been nurses, doctors and my secondary school teachers. I've earned the respect of a couple of those health professionals now but it wasn't automatically given to me. Looking younger than my age, people tend to underestimate my abilities or think it odd and unnatural that I should be so selfless, that they think I'm playing at being a martyr. Grr!
I know that young adult literature is sometimes viewed as a chance to point out and critique the best and worst of society but there are also books that just provide snapshots of life as it is. It can provide better fodder for discussion. I know that I had a similar experience with Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak. The protagonist is raped and we see no consequences for the perpetrator. There's much victim blaming and yet very little in the way of supportive voices. And I'm not sure, but I think it's studied in schools now and is a popular book club read.
I would also say that there's a difference between stripping someone of their cultural identity and integration. Integration is necessary in order to get by. To learn the native language and to make an attempt at learning some cultural norms to fit in and be accepted, for instance. When in Rome and all that. However, caring is a time-consuming activity and partaking in hobbies or observing in religious or other cultural traditions is an exceptionally low priority. I rarely cook or eat the food of the Barbadian side of my heritage. Most of the time I make what's fast, easy and as healthy as possible. Sometimes just doing the bare minimum of ensuring I maintain my manners and politeness is a bit of a struggle. That's why there's occasionally weeks between posts on my blog.
I'm sorry for getting so personal and for the unexpected length of my comment. The issues just touched a little too close to home. I hope I haven't offended you. I apologise if I've overstepped or misunderstood.
I, myself, am a POC with a disabled mother. I've made similar choices as you and struggled with guilt as well, but we are not the same people. Our experiences are very different because of our different ethnicities, nationalities and various other key factors in how both the world treats us and how we've been taught to view ourselves.
Likewise neither one of our experiences are at all comparable to the life and choices of an undocumented, Latino (Mexican) boy living in America. At the start of your comment you dismissed Jose's race and nationality in order to relate his choices to yours, but those are two very significant differences that inform not only how he would view his roll in his family and opportunities in life, but the specific types of oppression he faces as a POC.
That last bit is very relevant to my review and point that how his father (along with the rest of his family) were depicted was racist. It was not my intention to pass judgement on Jose's choice, but on the author's choice to depict the complexity and consequences of that choice as simple and easy, but above all else the choice to frame it as the BEST choice. That is not only unrealistic, it is irresponsible. Because there is not Best or Right choice when it comes to these kinds of situations.
Some how somewhere someone always has to make a sacrifice. Someone be it the disabled parent or the child will feel selfish, guilty or betrayed in some way. It is not fair or easy, but it is the reality of these kinds of situations. That doesn't mean we don't still have to make these hard choices. My issue is the way the author took this complex choice and made it seem simple and easy. He ignored the consequences of either choice and by doing so painted Jose's father as a burden to be overcome rather than a human being with a disability.
I didn't go into it in this great detail because the review was already overly long, but I'm glad you brought it up so we could discuss it more. I agree that a degree is more than a piece of paper, just as a disabled parent is a great deal more than an obstacle which their children need to overcome in order to reach their dreams. This story should have shown that, but it didn't. It distilled it down, throwing a disabled person under a bus, in favor of high lighting the importance of an education.
As for assimilation or integration, that's a complex personal issue too. I'm speaking to fictionalized stories that are prevalent in America that glorify those who assimilate into Western culture. There is a long complex history to these stories, and these permeate every genre of literature in the US and Western Europe. These stories try to simplify the issue as well, making POC who haven't assimilated fully look like villains or clowns, while painting those who have as promising role models. Like I said Language is a skill that gives us opportunities, but people shouldn't be oppressed or marginalized simply because they lack that skill. Stories like these imply that it is their fault and they cause their own oppression which simply isn't true. We have to behave and conform to the dominant culture because of racism and xenophobia, because people will not treat us like people unless we act like them. While that is a fact of life for many POC that doesn't make it right or okay.
Thanks again for reading and commenting.