Comments: 40
I just read these quotes aloud to hubby, his exact words, "So this author is like 15 right?" I said no, he said, "so English isn't their first language then?"
XD That's so funny! I was thinking along the lines of the second, but who knows? This could be really effective mocking of people who don't use editors, but I kinda doubt it...
Lornographic Material 6 years ago
This review deserves an Oscar, or, you know, whatever they give to outstanding reviews. *applauds*
Aw! *blushes* Thanks! I never seem to find them as funny as other people do, so it's good to hear. I'm just glad anyone else gets amusement from them.
I did when Fish place did. I usually can't time buddy reads exactly even when I try. If you want to set a certain time, I still haven't read the Triceratops one, and there are tons of free bad porn! I love me some free bad porn!
Tackling Mt. TBR 6 years ago
I'm sorry, but if your vajayjay growls, you have got bigger issues than trying to fit in at the yacht party. I don't even think a gyno would be able to help with a growling vagina. I keep thinking of the movie Alien where the alien pops out of that person's stomach... yeah.
I keep thinking of vagina dentata.
"Movie stars, rich men, hot guys, and more."

Wonder what "and more" entails.

Btw, if anyone's vagina growls near me, that's my cue to GTFO.
Porn stars. I'm betting it's porn stars. And tentacle monsters. Who are porn stars.

I really want that to happen now. I feel like I would laugh so fucking hard.
Write it!
It happened in this. Both the vagina growling and the tentacle monster porn stars.

It was hilarious. I laughed so hard. But let me clarify - if someone's vag suddenly growled at me, I feel like laughter would be my first response.
a TeMPLe of WoRDS 6 years ago
Hahaha I love how you ended your sentence in the middle too haha.

And I totally agree with Tackling Mt TBR.

I've never been to a yacht party that had buckets of condoms. And I think, if I ever did go to one, I would leave the SECOND I saw the first one.

These are hilarious. Not these books - they're just awful - but these reviews. I keep hoping that eventually one of these will be really good. Keep.hoping. For your sake at least.
I couldn't resist.

And I know, but if you growl it implies mouth, it implies teeth. I see vagina dentata. Also, that doctor from teeth screaming, 'vagina dentata, they're real! They're real!'

I know, so skeevy, right?

And these books are hilarious because they're so bad. I keep hoping that they get worse and worse - the worse they get, the harder and longer I laugh. It also makes me look funnier. It's so much easier to be funnier when the writing does half or more of the work for you.
a TeMPLe of WoRDS 6 years ago
On that last point - true. So *fingers crossed* I hope get they get worse so that you can continue making me laugh with your reviews :)
I'll keep trying!
I think our motto should be 'no bullying words by disusing them."
Spare Ammo 6 years ago
The party is not "high class" if there is a guy called Slick attending.
That, too. Every time he's called by name, I think of a Pimp Named Slickback from the Boondocks cartoon.
BrokenTune 6 years ago
That was hilarious! Whoever encouraged the author to publish this deserves a slap! - Either for unleashing this drivel onto the world or for being a sarcastic knit-wit goading the author into this embarrassment of a book.
XD I got to use my Decepticons 'laugh, no' GIF so that made me happy.

I love reading crap like this because it's hilarious. It's one of my guilty pleasures in life.
BrokenTune 6 years ago
True. It is hilarious. You picked some excellent quotes there, too. :-)
Thank you!
Batgrl: Bookish Hooha 6 years ago
I really want to google "where the hell are all these teenage boys learning that vaginas growl?" but am really afraid of what links would result. (For my own sanity I must believe that this isn't an adult, it has to be a kid writing this! I hope.) Because this isn't the first growling vagina I've heard about - and the other was in another So Bad You Won't Believe it book review too! Not that I remember where I read it - I think I might be becoming addicted to this sort of review! But it makes me laugh (and that's SO helpful, seriously) so I'm calling that a positive.
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111218124024AAhIBGM

Apparently vaginas growling is normal. A dude on the interwebs is a specialist and he says so.
Batgrl: Bookish Hooha 6 years ago
Whoa - you posted that 2 minutes ago and I get "this question has been deleted" - those are some amazingly fast moderators on that site...
Batgrl: Bookish Hooha 6 years ago
Omg, so MANY people on Yahoo answers ask this question....I am both amazed and slightly freaked out...
And yet when I google 'vagina growl' it's the first thing that comes up and it's there. It's 'why does my vagina growl?'

Along with such commentary: "Are you mocking me?
2 years ago
I get the impression that people are not taking this seriously.
2 years ago
I can understand how it would appear funny, at first sight, but it is embarrassing in public. I get strange looks from people at the office and at the bus stop. On several occasions my husband has threatened to leave me on account of my angry vagina. This really isn't a laughing matter."

Also, this answer: "Trust me as a specialist in this field when I say that this is perfectly normal and nothing to worry about. As for your husband, I wouldn’t expect him to understand anyway. Men just don’t realise that our vaginas are not just appendages of the female anatomy, but a separate entity, which is every bit as feeling and sentient as you or I. And just like you or I, vaginas have needs, primal, fundamental needs which we have a responsibility to satisfy. That is why, sometimes when your vagina has been inadequately fed, nurtured or cared for, your vagina can become stroppy and sometimes will indulge in a low, angry growl. I am not sure what your vagina’s current grievances are. I would need more details
Source:
I'm an expert in this field."

Is vagina growling a field now?
You wish you hadn't brought up that search, now, right? I wasn't gonna google it because I didn't think about it... but apparently people think this is a thing.
Oh, please! You're obviously not a specialist in this field so you don't realize that they are sentient. Or maybe you just have a very compliant vagina.
XD

I'm just bitter. My vagina has never growled, and the man-splainin' specialist says it's normal. Why won't my vagina growl, dammit?
She was obviously worried by her husband hearing growling and claiming her vagina was at fault! Because, you know, women... root of all evil.
Batgrl: Bookish Hooha 6 years ago
I almost want to call in an anthropologist to start studying this! Though I have to admit I'm enjoying the comedy answers. ...Ok I'm assuming a lot are comedy answers. Actually the more I read that the more I'm assuming 90% are comedy - or am I just hoping?

...Wasn't it one of the dinoporn that had a growling vagina? ...Or I might just be making all the weirdness link together. Because that would be logical? Ok, that's a sign I probably need to stop reading for today...
I think it was the growling anal engine of the spaceship? I think that fucker growled...
Batgrl: Bookish Hooha 6 years ago
"My girlfriend's vagina barked at me. is this normal?"
Some of these apparently get deleted quickly. I think. Meanwhile I have to stop looking at these and go put serious thoughts in my brain because the person about to call me is not going to understand if I suddenly bring up growling vaginas out of nowhere... Heh.
Pfft. Just make your vagina growl *at* him and they'll probably be so freaked out they quit you. I mean, unless you like them.