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Search tags: -stephenie-meyer
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review 2019-01-26 02:49
Go large or go home
A Discovery of Witches - Deborah Harkness

This one was a real oddity to me, because it felt like that class of Gothic fiction that attempts to take things seriously -- like, the scholarship was spot on, as was the description of academic research, historical detail, and just general academic jockeying -- but then the serious tone slips to the soporific and everyone falls asleep. This book is crazy boring. 

 

Gothic fiction tends to have a lot of blood and violence in it -- both metaphoric and literal. Wuthering Heights is a fucking bloodbath, an absolute hatecast where very few make it out alive. I mean, sure, Cathy and Heathcliff are terrible people, but hot damn are they fun to watch. If they weren't terrible people no one would care and there wouldn't be a story. High passions are the bloody engine; this is Romanticism run feral. 

 

So when the writers of modern Gothics try to make everyone sensible and reasonable, I wonder what the point it. People have to be a little touched just to get the juices flowing. Stephenie Meyer, in New Moon, tried to make everyone a good person, which would have been boring, but it turns out her sense of what makes a person worthy is so completely bonkers that the book still kind of works as a Gothic. Edward, Bella, and Jacob are all terrible people, so the hatecast can work its Gothic magic. 

 

But A Discovery of Witches? Yawn. The lead is the scion of two seriously important magical families, but won't use her magic because reasons that make almost no sense. She wants to succeed in academia on her "own merits," which, isn't magical ability one of her own merits? Anyway, I grew right tired of how helpless she was, and how she was simultaneously a big deal Chosen One type. Own your power, woman. 

 

Her love interest is a fancy vampire tosser, and their courtship is spent talking about antiques. When they confessed their love for one another, I was like, did I miss something? You're in love with each other over that pile of boring? Which is not something I should ever be saying reading a Gothic; go large or go home. 

 

Anyway, I don't want to put the knives in too hard. I think the exercise of trying to make rational grownup types enact genres that tend to fall more on the Romance end (by which I mean in the Nathanial Hawthorne sense, not like modern romance novels, exactly) is an interesting one, though I'm not sure I've ever seen one be successful. I'll have to think about it. 

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review 2018-12-20 17:20
Twilight
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer

 
Twilight, Book 1


Re-Read:
September 14 - December 17

Despite the absamily long time it took me to re-read this I really did enjoy it. The beginning is a bit slow but it takes off running and by the end I was glued to the page. I’m not sure if I’m going to re-read the whole series but I had a ball revisiting Forks

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text 2018-11-02 17:01
REVIEW BY ROWAN - Twilight (Twilight #1) by Stephenie Meyer
Twilight (Twilight Series Book #1)(Hardcover) - Stephenie (Author); Meyer

Isabella Swan's move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets the mysterious and alluring Edward Cullen, Isabella's life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. Up until now, Edward has managed to keep his vampire identity a secret in the small community he lives in, but now nobody is safe, especially Isabella, the person Edward holds most dear. The lovers find themselves balanced precariously on the point of a knife-between desire and danger.Deeply romantic and extraordinarily suspenseful, Twilight captures the struggle between defying our instincts and satisfying our desires. This is a love story with bite.

 

Source: archaeolibrarian.wixsite.com/website/single-post/2018/11/02/Twilight-Twilight-1-by-Stephenie-Meyer
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review 2017-11-08 15:56
DNF: The Chemist by Stephanie Meyer
The Chemist - Stephenie Meyer,Ellen Archer

My friend, who probably has better taste than me and far more in the way of patience, graciously allowed me to borrow her hardcover copy of this tome. Me, being me, knew I would never finish it in this decade and decided to read it the old fashioned way and in audio so I could speed my way through it. 

That did not happen.

Juliana AKA Alex is a chemist/torturer/super smart lady who is on the run from her former employer who was up to nefarious deeds. They have already murdered her mentor who was the only person she cared about in the whole wide world. She fears she’s next because, well, her mentor is dead! So what does she do next? She accepts an assignment from her former employer hoping they will now leave her alone and she can live a somewhat normal life and won’t have to suit up with toxins and weaponry and sleep with a gas mask on her face every night. I was a little confused on this logic but I could’ve mixed things up because I might’ve been daydreaming a little when the many boring details began to lose me.

Anyway, her next assignment includes abducting a man suspected of carrying a biological weapon capable of starting a plague. He is a handsome, long haired, hazel eyed school teacher whose wife left him years ago because he wasn’t able to give her the life of luxury she felt she deserved. He even builds houses for Habitat for Humanity in his spare time. Clearly a good guy, right? But wait. Alex has pictures proving he is up to no good! Even though it seems improbable, she has proof that he’s been having secret meetings with the nefarious evil-doers who, along with his help, will unleash a devastating plague upon the population.

Yes! Count me in.

Alex doesn’t usually speak to her targets but she makes the mistake of chatting up this one and it turns out he’s quite alright. Seems like a nice guy even and he’s really cute. But she has a job to do and she jabs him with an ecstasy/truth serum blend she’s cooked up for the occasion and she learns that he is most likely innocent and that he likes her face. I suppose I can guess where this is going and it won’t end with the plague.

Darn it all!

It’s here that things went from a little boring to insta-romancy in the blink of an eye and I’m left wondering where the “gripping page-turner” the blurb promised me ran off to. 

But I plundered on and wish I hadn’t because, call me a wuss if you will, dogs have now died. Smart, loyal, beautiful, innocent dogs have lost their lives for these two incompetents and I am pissed off, sad for the doggies and disappointed with the way this book is going and doubt it will ever recover enough to grab my attention. And though the narrator is competent, this story has dragged out for way too long.



I’m calling it a day at just over the 50% mark. My dear friend had good intentions but this book was not meant for me.

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review 2017-11-07 20:37
16 Tasks of the Festive Season: Square 1 - Día de Muertos
Fifty Shades of Grey - E.L. James
Twilight - Stephenie Meyer,Stephenie Meyer

Tasks for Día de Muertos and All Saint’s Day: create a short poem, or an epitaph for your most hated book ever.

 

I decided these two ought to be buried in the same grave, so here we go:

 

 

Also:

 

And:

 

 

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