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review 2017-11-21 19:04
Spoonbenders by Daryl Gregory: Sorry I had to quit you @ 90%
Spoonbenders: A Novel - Daryl Gregory,Ari Fliakos

2.5 (it was okay) for me but I'll bump it up to a 3 because I'm such a sweetheart (said no one ever).

 

This is the story of a once famous family who were shamed when their patriarch screws up on national tv and exposes himself for a fraud. Except they’re not all frauds but try telling that to anyone after the public shaming. Now they have to eek out a living like the rest of us schulbs. I think I’m one of the few people who did not find this book exciting, humorous and a rip-roaring good time. I didn’t like the time jumps which I found confusing on audio, I did not care about any of the characters, nor did I care what they were doing, who they were dating, or what binds they were getting themselves into. I’m not going to write a review because I’m lazy and because I know this one is truly a case of my personal taste and my current “meh” mood. I think I’m going to have to quit reading for a bit or at least quit forcing myself through ARC’s because I have lost all the joy for books at this point in time.

 

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review 2017-11-17 19:44
Hell House by Richard Matheson
Hell House - Richard Matheson,Ray Porter

Bought during Audible's $2.99 sale (10/13/17)! . It's more now, sorry about that.

 

A rich guy offers to pay a group of people to stay a few nights in a haunted house to prove there is life after death. All previous attempts to do such a stupid thing at this particular house have ended very badly for the suckers brave or stupid or hard-up enough to have a sleep-over. It’s no different this time around.

 

I read this book closely on the heels of finishing up Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House which was probably a big mistake on my part as the premise of these two books is nearly identical and Jackson’s story didn’t thrill me the way it did most people. Same goes for Hell House though I did like it a wee bit more than Jackson’s story but probably only because it was more lurid and crazy-pants and I like that kind of thing but it does suffer from the same over the top characterization.

 

This story is much more sexually horrifying. Some of the things that happen within these pages are upsetting. Trust me on this. The house was basically turned into a pit of debauchery and hellish events when its original owner cuts loose with a group of hangers-on who dip into orgies, drugs, murder, cannibalism (as you will, I guess) and every other nasty thing your brain can imagine! The house is tainted and incredibly haunted by a horny ghost who eventually infects the woman folk and does shocking pervy things.

 

I listened to this story on audio and the narrator, Ray Porter, does an excellent job. He is deadly serious which suits the story and he manages to deliver the lady voices in a way that doesn’t make them sound completely ridiculous even when they’re forced to behave in overly hysterical ways. He does a good job with the men and the evil inhabiting the house as well.

 

I’m going to give this the same rating as the Jackson book. 3 Stars.

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review 2017-11-02 18:31
Audrey Rose by Frank DeFelitta
Audrey Rose - Frank De Felitta,Matt Godfrey

Courtesy of Valancourt Books & Audiobookboom, thanks!

 

I have vague memories of being afraid of this movie when I was kid and that was all I remembered so when the chance came around to listen to the audio I grabbed it. I’m terribly impulsive like that.

 

The Templeton’s have a lovely home in Manhattan, a beautiful young daughter and an all-around perfect life. You know that’s all blessedly coming to crashing halt right now, don’t you? One day a strange man starts lurking about, sending gifts and doing other strange stalkery things. Who is this weirdo and why is he tarnishing their perfect world with his pestering? He eventually reveals that their beautiful daughter Ivy is the reincarnation of his deceased little girl Audrey Rose and he wants to be a part of her life!

 

Oh no.

 

That’s scary stuff for any parent, even these two. I say that because in one of the most disturbing scenes for me, they both ignored the fact that their adult neighbor/friend looked at Ivy’s blossoming bosom and made a lewd comment (she’s 10 or 11, btw) and then they all continued on with their festivities. Are you kidding me? I’d like to think that things weren’t that different in the 70’s. That pedo should’ve been stabbed in the manparts and unwelcomed forever. This didn’t give me hope for the well-being of poor Ivy.

 

Moving along . . . the stalker-man thinks it a wise idea to kidnap dear Ivy who is suffering from terrible night terrors and a courtroom drama consumes the plot for way too long. This is where the book pretty much lost me. No fault to the book but courtroom dramas are one of my least favorite things in the world. Seeing as I didn’t particularly care for any of the parents and the woo-woo wasn’t that interesting to me, I started to wish I were reading something else.

 

The only thing keeping me going, and I do not exaggerate here, was the narration by Matt Godfrey. I swear that man and Will Patton could read their grocery lists and I would be enraptured. Godfrey’s voice is comforting and calming to me and he does great work with all of the characters. I know for an almost fact that I would’ve DNF’d this book had I tried to read it in paperback/Kindle form because I have no tolerance for books that bore me and that’s what this one did.

 

If you want to revisit the 70’s with this book, make sure you grab the audiobook!

 

I’d give the story a 2 but the narration a 5 which averages out to a three (hey, my review, my math!).

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review 2017-10-20 19:29
You Will Know Me by Megan Abbott
You Will Know Me: A Novel - Megan Abbott,Lauren Fortgang

My will to review has left the building so this book is getting shafted. Sorry book, you kept me entertained but the words have deserted me. 

I’m giving this one a 4. It was decent, the narrator was engaging and she kept me listening but I figured out the murdery bits long before they were exposed and that is not like me at all. I didn’t understand the “why” of it though and am still not sure I do even when it was explained. 

This book is busting at the seams with some very flawed and unlikable teens and adults. They’re all pretty awful at one point or another. There’s only one little boy that is a decent human but he’ll be ruined in no time hanging around this bunch. If scarlet fever or neglect don't do him in first!

The story revolves around a young gymnast and Olympic hopeful and the dastardly people surrounding that competitive world. Having had a child in a competitive sport for too many years, I can tell you these people are REAL and I was never so happy as the day my kid told me she wanted to quit and just be a kid for a while and I could go back to spending my weekends sleeping in and doing whatever the hell I wanted to do instead of adhering to someone else’s demanding schedule. I don’t know how decent people manage to escape that kind of thing with their sanity intact. Well, some of them don’t in this book and it’s glorious! There are rages, jealous fits, and venomous conversations. It’s all pretty awesome but I was just a wee bit let down at the end but I can’t tell you why without exposing too much.

 

I'll be using this for the Murder Most Foul Square.

 

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review 2017-10-04 18:17
IT by Stephen King
It - Stephen King,Steven Weber
There are a million reviews and plot breakdowns for IT so I am not going to bother adding another. I'm also tired. This book has been my constant companion through a boatload of crapola in real-life and I did not take notes. I read IT knowing it was long and hoping it would take me away like Calgon always promised and it did. The book. Not Calgon. Calgon is full of BS.



This is not a 5 star read but 4 1/2 stars for a few reasons. I was so unsettled by THE scene near the end that I must've blocked out when I read this book at the age of 17. It didn't make a heck of a lot of sense to me that Bev would initiate such a thing. When I was 11 I had friends who were my world and my family was all kinds of messed up and that thought would've never crossed my mind ~ even at 14 when things got even worse. It just struck me as strange and disturbing and unnecessary. And it was really gross to listen to on audio. I've read lots of gross things but this one took all the cake. I also didn't like the whole bit about 
Bill cheating on his wife with Bev. Ugh, why didn't she just throw Ben a bone and leave the married guy alone?! Home-wrecker and weak men. Blech
(spoiler show)


Other than that and the fact that it was a little too long for me, it was a nearly perfect book of childhood friendships and one of the most terrifying monsters ever put to the page.
 
Will use for a Bingo square whenever I update my card.
 

 

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