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review 2014-05-13 00:00
The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused and Start Standing Up for Yourself
The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused and Start Standing Up for Yourself - Beverly Engel Before reading this I knew I was nice but not that I had the nice girl syndrome...which according to this book I have quite a severe version of. Once I was diagnosed it was time to learn how to do something about it. I could relate to a very large proportion of this book, however, as extreme niceness is a massive part of my personality I thought there's no way I could change it. I discovered it's not to change a person from being nice it's to give a nice girl some backbone... something that I don't have. I found myself nodding in agreement to a lot of points made in this book. Although in places it seemed quite patronizing, I thought that it was somewhat necessary for it to be blunt, not sunshine and rainbows, we are told from the start...being too nice? Yup, that's a problem! which, unfortunately, is true in society today, you will get treated like a doormat. If you think you may need to give your inner nice girl that kick up the backside she needs in order to have your opinion valued once in while....pick up this book.
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review 2014-02-20 19:26
Review: The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel
The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- and Start Standing Up for Yourself - Beverly Engel

I think the hardest thing about writing this review was figuring out why this book annoyed me so much for the subject matter it addressed. It should've been something I received well given the subject matter and its intents as a self-help book, but the more I read it, the more I ended up reading mixed messages within it.

I tend to pick up self-help/health/wellness guides at random in many different aspects - social wellness, spiritual wellness, physical and emotional wellness among a number of different factors, and I do it for a variety of different groups - women's health being a strong interest of mine as well. The title of this made me raise my eyebrows, though I've heard in social/health circles about the dominance of "nice girl" or "nice guy" syndrome - where people described as such are associated as being passive, overly accommodating, and inattentive to their own needs for the sake of pleasing others. Also for being unable to say "no" in a healthy way. It's a real issue not limited to gender, but in this particular work - Beverly Engel addresses it with respect to abusive/manipulative relationships and addresses the matter to women. That's a fair topic to cover given her background as a psychotherapist and addressing sexual abuse and women's health issues. But I think juxtaposing this particular work with others on the same topic, it pales in comparison and falters more often than not.

It's a book that attempts to be blunt in a "tough love" sort of way, but I couldn't get over how it comes across with victim blaming - type statements and negative talk throughout the text. It sounds more patronizing than encouraging women to develop healthier esteem habits and assertiveness. The fact that a section of this book is entitled "Strong Women Aren't Nice" made me want to throw the book against the wall. Well, Mrs. Engel, if I may state for the record: Strong women aren't "mean" either. I think strength has more to do with how one applies and assert themselves for what they want in life.

Skip this one. There are much better texts out there that are encouraging and help women become stronger about themselves emotionally, spiritually, and assertively than this text. For a so called "feminist" text, it's really horrible.

Overall score: 1/5 stars

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review 2012-06-20 00:00
The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused and Start Standing Up for Yourself
The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused and Start Standing Up for Yourself - Beverly Engel Review to come. I read this a while back this past year and I know I'm probably going to be in the minority for saying this, but I found this book incredibly condescending for a self-help book. It's supposed to champion feminist ideals and help women who aren't in control of their lives and find it hard to say "no", but I don't approve of the shaming tone of it at all.
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review 2009-07-01 00:00
Loving Him without Losing You: How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself
The Unexpected Millionaire (Kekasih Tak Terduga) - Susan Mallery This is a great book to give to a young woman who is beginning to date. A lot of information on how to remain true to yourself while in a relationship.
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