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review 2016-11-28 00:00
Hell Takes A Holiday
Hell Takes A Holiday - Kiernan Kelly Hell Takes A Holiday - Kiernan Kelly Book – Hell Takes A Holiday
Author – Kiernan Kelly
Star rating - ★★★☆☆
No. of Pages – 48

Cover – Nice
POV – 3rd person, 1 character POV
Would I read it again – No.

Genre – LGBT, Romance, Paranormal, Heaven/Hell

Reviewed for Divine Magazine

*WARNING: May contain spoilers*

This one was a bit hit-and-miss for me. Not only was the title misleading – since Hell didn't stop, freeze or take a break from their duties at all – but the blurb is misleading, too. It tells us why Uriel has been sent to Hell – though that's supposed to be a secret in the plot and probably should have stayed that way to make it more of a surprise – and says that Lucifer has no choice but to give him a tour. Also not true; that's his own choice, after discovering Uriel's true mission (again, which should have been a secret and not mentioned in the blurb, giving the whole thing away). To make it even more confusing, it tells us that the reunion will be short-lived unless Uriel gives up his halo – that is never even contemplated by either character in the entire story. In fact, it gives away the ending ending, too.

On top of those issues, there was some problems with editing/grammar. There were too many information dumps disguised as thought processes. Within all of that were a mountain of similies and metaphors, which were packed far too closely together so that it felt like an entire page of one after the other.

On the plus side, I liked the detail given to Hell, the Devil and the inner workings of both. I liked the sugary-sweet interpretation of Uriel, the feisty, playful side of Lucifer and that they had history together. I felt that it lacked chemistry, outside of the sex scenes, and that the two never really felt comfortable with each other unless they were having sex. This couldn't even be put down to the amount of time they've spent apart or how awkwardly they left things – it's more the way they interact with each other that feels unnatural and uncomfortable.


Overall, for me, it just had too much of an imbalance. The plot and the writing were well done; I liked the writing style, though there were issues with plot gaps and inconsistencies between the story and the blurb (which is supposed to give you an expectation of what you're about to read). I liked the characters, but felt that they didn't fit together as a couple. I found that Lucifer became a bit too sentimental in places, completely outdoing his previous nature and overshadowing who he was. There were times when Uriel came across more distant and reserved than Lucifer, which shouldn't have been possible.

Disappointing, because it didn't live up to my expectations, but overall a decent one-off read.
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review 2016-07-08 14:50
Happy World
Happy World - Kiernan Kelly

I didn't enjoy this as much as I thought I would.

While I see the story was meant to be fluffy and sweet and cinderella-ish (exactly what I was in the mood for), at times it came off as superficial and fake. The amusement-park-turned-high-school setting didn't help one bit. I couldn't feel the characters, they came off as juvenile in the worst ways. And the story itself was nothing special, and at times dragged a bit.

But for all that I did kinda enjoy it, so I'm giving it a round up instead of round down.

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review 2016-05-31 21:38
ARC Review: Butt Villains On Vacation - anthology
Butt Villains On Vacation - Kage Alan,Ally Blue,TC Blue,Kiernan Kelly

What do you get if you mix a proven team of 4 authors, snark, sarcasm, and a good dose of humorous antics? Why, you get another butt-thology, of course.

In this latest anthology from Kage Alan, TC Blue, Kiernan Kelly, and Ally Blue, we get Butt Villains On Vacation!

I'll review all 4 stories separately.

First up, Master Malevolence in The Tail Of The Fluffy Monkey, by Kage Alan:

This story could only have been written by Kage. I mean, seriously, it has what we shall call Kageisms all over the whole thing. I was howling with laughter only a few pages in, because the clever snark just does it for me. I have a weird sense of humor sometimes, and that's what Mr. Alan usually delivers. Snark. Sarcasm. Witty one-liners. Acronyms that make me giggle, such as Plot Outline Of Peonage, aka POOP. I'm also secretly a 12 year old boy... sometimes.

We enter this story at an awards ceremony for villains....

"In the category of Villainous Acts Green, or VAG, our first nominee is [] for her victory in unknowingly getting the members of a certain church in Harlem hooked on the taste of semen in their coffee."


"Mr. Malevolence [the guy from the title] piped an invisible [] gas into Congress that had every male politician believing they'd grown female genitalia just prior to a vote on limiting healthcare..."

*dies laughing*

Another nominee perpetuated a hoax that all gay people were going to relocate to Texas which had Texas secede from the Union in protest, and.... well, you read this for yourself.

I was laughing so hard, I cried. I couldn't breathe, gasping for air. The way all these current affairs are woven into the speech just left me in stitches.

And on it goes, with snark, and more snark, a wee bit of possibly romantic feelings between two villains, one of them The Fluffy Monkey, lots of references to Gweilos, surely a nod to Mr. Alan's HH and Little Brother, and a conspiracy plot, plus sexing up villain-style - it's a fast ride, it's hilarious, and it earned itself five shiny stars for being so fabulous.

Bonus points for honoring the memory of someone from our FB community who is no longer with us.

The Flaming Skull B&B, by Ally Blue:

What do you get when you mix an on-the-run alien villain running a B&B with an Earthling bartender? Why, you get this funny and quite sweet story, of course.

Kynn-ang-Peen, the aforementioned alien, is supposed to be a villain, but only wants to make people happy. Not exactly in the villain job description, amirite, so he's been running off his home planet and landing on Earth, where he now runs a very unsuccessful B&B. This might possibly be because Kynn-ang-Peen has no "earthly" idea what earthlings look for in a nice, quiet B&B, and his idea of one doesn't mesh with his customers. Or non-customers, because nobody is staying.

His vassal, aptly named Thfft, is mostly interested in hunting and eating crabs, so when the latest potential customer leaves (and then goes up in a heap of smoke, because angry and disappointed villain right there), our lovable alien hies himself to the local bar, Cajun Alley. Where he meets Riley Jackson, bartender, and this is where the plot takes off and goes from villainous and fun to mostly sweet and fun.

It's really rather cute, with misunderstandings between alien notions and Earth reality, and while Riley may be just a little too perfect in his actions and understanding and reaction to coming face to face with an alien, I did like this quite a lot, and thought the ending was just perfect.

4 stars!

Attack Of The Undead Enema, by T.C. Blue:

This was more on the sweet side as well, telling the story of Jake Green, villain-in-hiding, and Griffin, waiter at the resort where Jake is staying/hiding. It has a real villain (The Undead Enema), a bit of angst, and a great romance between the two main characters. I really liked how Griffin stood up for Jake, and basically showing him that their love was worth fighting for, and that the Undead Enema mustn't be allowed to win. I really liked Jake, who was supposed to be a villain, but not, and who loved strongly, and just wanted to do the right thing. He carries a lot of guilt from something that he thought he caused a couple of years back, and I felt sorry for him. I rooted for him and Griffin throughout.

Lovely ending too.

4 stars!

Hero Land, by Kiernan Kelly:

Sadly my least favorite of the four stories in this anthology, mostly because I felt that it wasn't long enough to do itself justice.

The Assassin Bandit (or Ass Bandit, as his travel agent Loki calls him) has been booked for a holiday in Hero Land instead of the Rogue Empire Resort where he expected to stay. Whoopsie. Loki done messed up, but Loki ain't sorry. Faced with impertinence from his not-sorry travel agent, this Super Villain decides to wreak chaos and mayhem in Hero Land instead, because, you know, one's got a reputation to keep.

Except he's foiled in his plans by the Golden Adonis, a hero from Hero Land, whose primarily claim to fame are his adonis-like looks and physique. Shocked that his usually overwhelming smile does not work its magic on Mr. Ass Bandit, our hero feels spurred into action.

It's a Code 69. All of Hero Land must be warned that a villain is in their midst, OMG. Except Adonis, The Golden, feels a stirring in his loins, one that may possibly be reciprocated by our Ass(assin) Bandit, and off they go to possibly fornicate.

I liked the writing in this story for its witty and clever references. Unfortunately, I didn't quite buy the romance and the changes in attitude on the Adonis' part in the timeframe we're given here. It was just too short.

3 stars!

** I received a free copy of this book from one of its authors, because he knew I was salivating for more butt-thology. Thank you, Kage! A positive review was not promised in return. **

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review 2015-05-20 00:00
A Hard Man is Good to Find
A Hard Man is Good to Find - Kiernan Kel... A Hard Man is Good to Find - Kiernan Kelly I liked this book well enough. I felt it was too quick paced and could have used a few more pages to make the flow of the story seem more natural. The relationship development was nice to see though.
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review 2015-02-06 02:14
Anthology – Butt Babes in Boyland
Butt Babes in Boyland - Kage Alan, Shae Connor, Kiernan Kelly, J.P. Barnaby, Jevocas Green,T.C. Blue

Reviewer: Barb

Genre: Holiday Anthology


This anthology provides readers with hours of great elf-related entertainment!


The Half Life of Pumpkin Pie by Shae Connor

A nice short story about a young man who buys two pumpkin pies at the local bakery to take to a friend’s house. He’s disappointed that someone else brought a more elaborate dessert and his friends didn’t eat all of his pie. But the next day when the baker contacts him about a problem with his credit card, he discovers that they have more in common than love of a piece of pie. Cute, sexy, and a great start for this couple who just might find their HEA someday.


Elf Confidence by Kiernan Kelly

A really fun story about Zook, the manager of Workshop 69 at the North Pole who is totally disgusted after an explosion in the basement of his workshop. All the other elves make fun of this workshop because only sex toys are made there, nd they never make it onto Santa’s sleigh. But sales from this workshop actually support Santa’s whole enterprise. Zook suspects the Society for Elf Morality, Education and Normality (SEMEN) is behind the explosion and seeks out Roger, the head of the Elf Satisfaction Department to file a complaint. Together they get to the source of the explosion and other problems and along the way they discover that they have more in common than they thought, and head off to get into some trouble of their own! Cute story, very imaginative, and with a sweet romantic element.


It’s a Wonderful Lube by Kage Alan

I found it difficult to get into this story since there didn’t seem to be any romance at first and, in fact, I couldn’t figure out who the MCs might be. But it was full of puns and one-liners and would tickle the average funny bone. Around mid-point, Wesley Lee, a security intern, broke into the cemetery where Santa’s son Ethan was buried and, armed with a spell he got from the infamous TC Blue, brought Ethan back to life. Apparently he had died exactly 100 years before and Wesley had to take his one and only chance to awake his star-crossed lover. They’d been communicating on an astral level for years but now had a chance for a real life romance. To be honest, I never did really get into the story, making it difficult to actually enjoy it. It was too convoluted and difficult to follow. I think perhaps the author put too many characters into too few pages— this one might have worked better if there had been more time to set up the MCs and establish the romance.


Overnight Delivery by Jevocas Green

This is a cute story about Justin Scott, a young man who is so unsure of himself that he puts off asking out Xander, a guy he really likes. Just as he’s all set to end his dry spell by going clubbing with friends where Xander will be hanging out, his boss makes him stay at work at the toy store overnight to receive a shipment of life-size dolls. Mr. McJingles, an elf, shows up to demonstrate how a glowing magic dildo will work to bring the doll to life, allowing Justin and Kent (the doll)to spend an enjoyable night having sex.The next morning, Xander comes into the store with a cup of coffee for Justin and when they kiss, Justin realizes that his new self-confidence is now going to make his dreams come true.


The Isle of Misfit Sex Toys by J.P. Barnaby

This is a very entertaining story about Relph, a very lonely, sex-starved elf, and Bob, a.k.a. Battery Operated Boyfriend, a dysfunctional sex toy whose master died in a terrible accident in the gift wrap machine many, many ago. Since that time, Bob can’t get hard, so he hasn’t had sex, but he catches Relph’s eye, literally, when Relph accidentally ejaculates on him as he’s masturbating to pass the time on the assembly line. Bob was out there as a scout for his group of friends— misfit toys that are trying to find a way to get onboard Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve. Relph does some research after letting Bob get away and discovers not only who/what Bob is but also what Bob needs to be able to have sex. He also helps Bob assist his misfit toy friends to get smuggled aboard Santa’s Christmas run. Among all the things I enjoyed about this story, one of the most unique was the clever way the author took ordinary names and converted them to elf names – Christelpher, Adelph, Relph, etc. This one was a great story with lots of humor and a sweet romance too.


For Fox Sake by T.C. Blue

Yet another fun story in this anthology of elf tales, this one was longer and more complex than the rest. The author did a great job world-building and tells us the story of Yoshi, a young man (fox shifter/Kitsune) who escapes from the Vixen Prime who has held him hostage for thirty years. He’s found and brought back to the home of Nick, an elfin being who is actually Yoshi’s mate, though Yoshi has no memory of him and Nick doesn’t know the story behind Yoshi’s disappearance and is not sure whether he should forgive him. The reasons for his capture and disappearance and the healing from the trauma make up the major points of the story with a little side romance for Nick’s friends, Pol and Jeff, thrown in. Could be a sequel there some day! All in all, this one was very well done and made a great capstone to the anthology.

Source: heartsonfirereviews.com/?p=31507
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