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review 2016-03-08 19:04
The Heroine Diaries: A Year In the Life of A Shattered Rock Star by Nikki Sixx
The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star - Nikki Sixx

Yikes this book is a serious downer. You’d think the lifestyle of a big rock and roll star at the height of his stardom was nothing but luxurious decadence and fun times, right? Well, it is and it isn’t.  When you haven’t dealt with your childhood pain, struggle with depression and a crushing loneliness and life on the road seems endless and empty and you self-medicate with sex and heroin, well, things quickly turn into a nightmare. 

 

Nikki Sixx, bassist and song writer for Motley Crue, hit it big in the 80’s. He had it all. Fame, money, girls, drugs, booze but he also developed an addiction that nearly ended his life and turned him into a raging, paranoid, dangerous guy.  Somehow he miraculously kept a diary in 1987. I don’t know If I buy that or not but I just went with it because his story is so hard to stop reading. In this diary, he details his self-destruction, his depression, his ego and bad attitude and the horrible, reckless things he does when he’s on drugs (when he can remember!). It’s not easy to read and it feels pretty brutally honest.  After each diary entry there are comments from his current day self and/or others who were involved with him at the time, song lyrics, etc. These comments expand on the entry and they are oftentimes terribly unflattering. I have to say it was brave of him to put this out there.

 

If you’re even vaguely interested in the sexploits and exploits of life on the road and one man’s devastatingly slow road to recovery you’ll probably find this fascinating. My only complaint was the black on red, white on red, white on black background print. It hurts me ancient eyes! If your glasses prescription isn’t up to snuff, you might want to make a visit to the eye doc before tackling the print version of this book. 

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text 2016-02-16 18:51
Reading progress update: I've read 75 out of 432 pages.
The Heroin Diaries: A Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star - Nikki Sixx

I never knew Sixx and Vanity had been a thing back in 1987 (such an incredibly toxic thing) so I went google searching for more info and pictures because I'm nosey and realized she passed away today. Seems she gave up drugs and became an evangelist. What a weird and terrible coincidence :(  

 

 

 

 

He looks like such a surly asshole in this picture. It really fits with what he says in his diary.

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review 2015-03-16 08:09
This Is Gonna Hurt: Music, Photography, And Life Through The Distorted Lens Of Nikki Sixx - Nikki Sixx

This Is Gonna Hurt is music, photography, and life through the distorted lens of Nikki Sixx, bassist for heavy metal rock band Mötley Crüe’s and the New York Times bestselling author ofThe Heroin Diaries. A combination of powerful prose and dramatic photographs, This Is Gonna Hurt is an arresting, deeply personal look through the eyes of a real rock star at a stark, post-addiction world.

Amazon.com

 

 

 

For fans of The Heroin Diaries, Nikki Sixx comes back with another installment, this time to discuss how his life has unfolded since finding sobriety. He also talks further on some stories touched upon in The Heroin Diaires.

 

 

"The fact that when death knocked on my door I was lucky enough to tell him to come back later is reason enough to tell my story. I am writing this book partly in hopes that I will move somebody to pick up a camera, write a poem, pen a song, or take a shot at any other dream. I have always said, ' If you can dream it, you can have it.' In my heart, I'm wishing that these musings might motivate someone somewhere to go do great things."

 

Largely though, this book is meant to be a showcase of Sixx's stunning photography, a passion he picked up in the years following rehab. Seriously, it's amazing! What starts as a hobby turns into an obsession that takes him all over the world documenting the human condition in a way that is truly breathtaking. One such story he shares that I loved was a trip he took to Vancouver where he got to know a community of homeless people:

 

"My interaction was minimal. Nobody knew who I was, and if they did, why would they care? Still, I was treated with more respect and given more polite "thank yous" and "excuse me, Nikkis" than I get in some of the nicest neighborhoods in the world. They wanted to know about my addiction and recovery. They told me their dreams and downfalls. I took two hundred pictures that day, two hundred moments of hope. As I was leaving, one guy asked me if I would come back and say hello someday. I remember getting into the van and telling Kimo that people are amazing -- all they want is to be accepted. Next time I'm in Vancouver, I plan on going back there. I hope I don't recognize a single face."

 

He also talks about how the band Sixx AM came about -- truthfully, it's largely the music that he's done with Sixx AM that really made me a fan of his. I never got really heavily into the Motley Crue songbook -- I know and like their songs but I don't have pivotal memories attached to the music. Don't know if it's a generational thing, Sixx formed Motley Crue the same year (maybe the same month even) that I was born. But Sixx AM, my GAWD those songs echo my life experiences SO HARD, a number of their songs bring me to tears just with the opening lines (ie. "Skin")! 

 

 

The thing I didn't expect was just how inspiring I would find this book. I went in thinking it would just be a cool art book, giving me a different artistic look at a musician I really admire. I knew from reading Heroin Diaries that Sixx has had his share of life lessons and naturally living through what he has is going to inspire people still struggling with their own demons. But here he gets some seriously inspiring and thought provoking passages in! There were a number of times I just found myself stopping and contemplating a point he makes... sometimes you find yourself smacked upside the head by the most beautifully simplistic honest truth bomb. 

 

If you've read and enjoyed The Heroin Diaries, DEFINITELY go check this one out! Also like The Heroin Diaries, this book has a companion album, even better than the first, IMO -- and that first one was amazing! 

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photo 2015-03-16 05:43
The Heroin Diaries: A Year In The Life Of A Shattered Rock Star - Nikki Sixx

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Some memorable bits from The Heroin Diaries

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review 2015-03-16 05:39
The Heroin Diaries: A Year In The Life Of A Shattered Rock Star - Nikki Sixx

In one of the most unique memoirs of addiction ever published, Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx shares mesmerizing diary entries from the year he spiraled out of control in a haze of heroin and cocaine, presented alongside riveting commentary from people who were there at the time, and from Nikki himself. Brutally honest, utterly riveting, and shockingly moving, The Heroin Diaries follows Nikki during the year he plunged to rock bottom -- and his courageous decision to pick himself up and start living again.

Amazon.com

 

 

 

If this is already on your TBR, you probably already know at least part of Nikki Sixx's story, but if not, here's the Cliff Notes version. Nikki Sixx (born Frank Feranna) is the founder of the band Motley Crue. Along with bandmates Vince Neil, Tommy Lee and Mick Mars, Nikki pretty much owned the music scene of the 1980s.

 

"Before he was on junk, Nikki Sixx was a big teddy bear with a nice smile. He could barely play the bass, mind you, but that never stopped Gene Simmons. I wanted to help him  but I guess ultimately you can only slay the dragon yourself. All that I could do was help him sharpen his sword if he needed me to."

 

Rick Nielsen, guitarist for Cheap Trick

 

Nikki explains in the intro that he has been one to keep journals nearly all his adult life, and Heroin Diaries is the publication of just one of those journals -- the one that documents a pivotal year in his life -- December 1986 to December 1987 -- the year he went especially hard and heavy into drug use, to the point of actually overdosing and being declared dead, only to come back to life moments later. From that point on, he's made a lifelong effort to turn his life around and get his high from other things, namely music, photography and being a dedicated father. 

 

"These diaries start on Christmas Day 1986, but that day wasn't even that special. I was an addict well before then, and stayed one for awhile afterwards. Perhaps that day just brought the condition home to me. There is something about spending Christmas alone, naked, sitting by the Christmas tree gripping a shotgun that lets you know your life is spiraling dangerously outta control."

 

Nikki Sixx

 

Also included in between diary entries are running commentaries from the people who were around Nikki at the time and could shed extra light on these moments. These commentaries are from Nikki's bandmates, ex-girlfriends, tour manager, family and personal friends as well as Nikki himself. I was really impressed that Nikki said to keep whatever they said about him as is, warts and all, his intent being to give an accurate account of what drug addiction is truly like, hopefully to save someone from experiencing the same fate OR to give struggling addicts courage and hope to fight through it and reboot their lives. This diary lays out all this struggles and fears at the time, how he felt like he was battling multiple personalities -- clean, clear-headed Nikki vs. drug addict "Sikki" -- his multiple attempts to get clean, followed by multiple relapses before successful sobriety. (Crazy to read he sometimes used heroin to come down from cocaine! Or how he tried to get clean by having his dealer put together these "come down" packets, like nicotine patches but for cocaine & heroin).

 

"I'm reading Diary Of A Rock Star by Ian Hunter. Maybe I'll release my diary as a book one day....yeah, right. Can you imagine?"

Nikki Sixx's journal entry from June 27th,1987

 

Though I don't have a history with hardcore drug use, I did find myself relating to his feelings and observations from battling with depression, social anxiety and those especially dark moments that bring on suicidal thoughts. I relate to his story in that there are those days that hurt so bad you want a release, but at the end of the day you just have too much spirit, stubborness and love of life (living for the good moments) to just let go. Maybe I partly relate because I am a fellow Sagittarian and constantly feel the creative pull myself!

 

While Nikki's story itself is inspiring, I also recommend this read to anyone who is a fan of 1980s hair band era because there are so many cool backstories here that I doubt you'll read anywhere else (except maybe the memoirs of the other guys who were there and want to share). There's a pretty funny (well, I found it funny anyway) story about Vince Neil and his rage over a Grey Poupon jar. Or Nikki journaling about the early days of Guns N' Roses, saying that Motley Crue should take them on tour as an opening band because in 1986 "there's no interest in them right now, but maybe this will help them. Anything is better than Whitesnake." X-D He also says of Axl Rose: "Cool new band but the singer can be an asshole."

 

As dark as this book gets, it does have its humor and I found the format fun to read, how it's printing on what feels like glossy magazine pages and is illustrated with Nikki Sixx's artwork and photography (he was classy enough to blot out the faces of former lady friends who might not want evidence of their groupie days out there for public consumption). The book also has a companion album which I highly recommend. I actually heard the song "Life Is Beautiful" long before I ever heard of this book. That song alone found my ears at just the right time, pulled me out of a really dark place and made me a lifelong fan of Sixx!

 

I also kept cracking up at his constant reiteration of the motto "Chicks = Trouble!" (underlined and written in CAPS in several of the diary entries). 

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