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review 2018-02-03 14:32
A Deep Dive into Shame and Resilience
I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" - Brené Brown

I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"


by: Brené Brown


Well, I finally forced myself to get on it and finish this book. It took me forever because it starts out with much of the same material I've already heard... Turns out I listened and read in the wrong order, sort of. You may remember that I wrote about my obsession with Brown's chatty Men, Women and Worthiness in January. What I wanted more than anything after that was a deeper dive. Turns out, she wrote one back in 2007, and here it is!

 

The big difference is that this research and book is centered completely on women, however, we now know that despite men and women having different shame causes, or despite them looking different on the outside, all shame is the same, so this book really does have good information for anyone willing to identify with the basics.

 

Brené Brown spent six years talking to women, back when men wouldn't admit that addiction, workaholism, rage, isolation, etc are all somewhat shame-based. They told us men didn't have the same issues with shame as women. We now know better (frankly women knew this all along,) but Brown wanted a valid study, so she talked to women. Once any gender overcomes the fear of admitting to shame, all of the information here is just as valid for men as it is for women as it is for someone who doesn't fall into the binary gender categories. The only difference is the examples.

 

Shame shows up everywhere from biggies like addiction and self-injury to perfectionism, anger, and blame. It affects everything from our physical health, self-image to our relationships and ability to feel a part of the community. Those relationships I mention include ones with people as well as money, work, friendships and everything else we relate to.

 

The best parts of this book promise to be the basic information that comforts the reader by giving us the data and a push to brave the fear of shame and let some sunshine in. Sunlight is the antidote to shame. We have to put aside the false bravado to become our truest selves and then, in a perverse twist, can we ultimately fit in.

 

Sadly, this book only illuminates the myriad ways our culture shames women with example after example. Honestly, there are too many examples. I could have done with half the examples. It begins to feel like filler after a while. I was also stunned to hear exactly the same words in the first few chapters and occasionally later in the book that I heard on Men, Women and Shame. It seems to me that even if she wanted to use the same examples, finding different wording would make the whole thing seem less redundant. The sad part is *this* is the better book, but it's completely gender-biased.

 

I truly hope that someone is working very hard on giving us examples and tips for men, especially because even mental health professionals refused to admit that shame could touch men until recently. That alone is just another shaming experience for men, and since we're all in the world together, it would be great if everyone was on the same page.

 

I truly think Brown has hit on a foundational experience for human beings with this groundbreaking shame research and the way she has permeated pop culture with this information. I'm not a massive fan of pop-psychology, but she does it well and keeps it based in the research. And when it comes down to it, her work in shame is the basis for all of the rest of her work in vulnerability, acceptance, and all the other things she's suddenly known for.

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review SPOILER ALERT! 2017-11-07 03:25
Review: It
It: A Novel - Stephen King

So it only took me forever, but not because the book was bad (obviously).  I'm just a slacker.

 

I don't know what to say about it other than it is another gem from the master, Stephen King.  It was well written and had the right amount of creepiness, horror and humor.

 

There are some triggering scenes with animal abuse that were discomforting to me.

 

And am I the only one who felt bad for It in the end?  I think it was the mom in me feeling a little softhearted as It begged for it's life and for the life of it's progeny.  But, of course, I know It couldn't be left to survive, nor could it's young.  But for a brief moment, I felt It's pain; the need to save itself and it's children.

 

All in all, it was quite the roller-coaster ride.

 

 

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review 2017-10-22 19:37
On Fire
On Fire (Shadow Stalkers #4) - Sylvia Day
Darcy is a fire inspector in a small town investigating a series of arson incidents. Each is a place that Darcy is tied to in some way. After the third, she calls in for help. Jared, a Deputy Marshal arrives and is hot on the case. Insta-lust also flares up. 
This was decent. Very heavy on the sex, but it also had a plot. I liked Darcy's vocation, different for a change. She also saved herself towards the end, so mad props to that. Jared was also likable, and I liked that he had moments where he was distracted. 
I would have liked more on the mystery and Danielle. The suspense element could have been better. Everything was wrapped up, but *more* would have been wonderful. The "why" was lacking IMO. But, this did have halfway decent plot to all the sex that was happening on the page.
 
Slow start to this morning, this was the only book I finished for the readathon.  

 

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review 2017-10-22 02:37
The Girl With All the Gifts
The Girl with All the Gifts - M.R. Carey

WOA!  WOW!  

 

What a great book to read in one sitting.

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review 2017-07-31 04:17
Brief Thoughts: Cutting Loose
Cutting Loose - Tara Janzen

Cutting Loose
by Tara Janzen
Book 8 of Steele Street

 

 

She's the unsuspecting beauty with something everybody wants.

He's the secret agent in so deep nobody can find him.

Until now...

CIA operative Zachary Prade made his name taking out world threats.  But now he’s tracking a very different kind of danger and her name is Lily Robbins.  Lily holds the key to a valuable encoded file that’s about to fall into the wrong hands.  All Zach has to do is retrieve the key and forget the rain-soaked beauty who came to his Central American plantation seeking shelter from more than the weather.

Lily knows him as Alejandro Campos, the seductive drug lord who saved her life.  They met when she traveled to El Salvador to film a documentary…and got caught in the middle of a nasty drug-and-guerrilla war.  Now, back in the U.S., hunted by spooks and assassins, Lily has to trust Campos again.  Except his name isn’t Campos, and he’s arousing a passion so hot it’s criminal.  That is, if they can survive long enough to enjoy it…



Cutting Loose still didn't feel like the reason why I ended up loving these Steele Street books, but it DID get right back into the heart of it's absurdly entertaining factor.  There are guns, there are cars, and there's the hot and steamy sex... of which our couple seems to manage over a very long period of time.  Whew!  There's high speed chase from danger, but no gun fights or explosions.

And it wasn't until nearing the end of the book that I realized that the entire setting of this 400 page book takes place over the time frame of one day.  Only the first couple and last couple chapters are not part of the one day.  And so that's when I felt a slightly bit more impressed--because for a book that manages to drag out an entire day of cat and mouse chase between several players, the progression actually flew by pretty quickly.

I hadn't even been aware that things were happening, because I kept thinking that we weren't in the middle of the conflict yet... and yet we technically were.  If that makes any sense.

These books don't make any sense.

So this review probably doesn't make any sense either.

Anyway...

While Lily and Zach were interesting characters, this wouldn't be the first time in this series where we didn't get enough of a chance to get to know the main couple.  And so, while you learn a few things about them as the story progresses, we really barely skim the surface of these two character's biographies.  Even Lily barely knows who Zach is until the end of the book.  The two of them are running from danger together, with secrets as the giant pink elephant in the backseat of Zach's Shelby Cobra Mustang.

And yet, somehow, they managed to make this partnership work.  Somehow, they develop a rather believable romance, even if most of it is based off of lust and adrenaline.  Somehow, I found the two of them rather intriguing.

Meanwhile, we get to meet previous characters, which I love doing, because usually I end up loving previous books' main characters as side characters.  They tend to be much more fun when they aren't center stage, ya know.  Unfortunately, like some of the previous books in this series, you also get introduced to a random secondary couple who kind of also manages to hog some book time along with other side characters... and you'd rather just get back to the main couple and learn more about them.

Entertaining book.  Lots of potential.  Lots of crazy.


***

 

Free Friday #7:

Page Count:  405
Cash Award:  +$10.00

Updated Bank Balance:  $268.00

 

 

 

 

 

Source: anicheungbookabyss.blogspot.com/2017/07/brief-thoughts-cutting-loose.html
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