Man, this is a difficult book to rate and review.
I guess 3.5 stars? But I'm not even sure.Only mild spoilers, but I put them in tags just in case you want to skip them.
I'm not easily shocked or scared because of books or movies and I enjoy being suprised, so I thought this was a perfect book for me. I thought I could handle it and wouldn't feel sick about this story at all. I was wrong. The story is kind of disturbing and the idea of actual people like this and events like this did make me sick to my stomach. It's well written and just very real...
That being said, there was a lot about the story I didn't like. I wasn't a fan of Jeremy.
His dream about killing Regan was disturbing, his mindset regarding the shooting made me wanna turn the gun on him instead.
Regan was a bit annoying, naieve and kind of a gullible idiot, to be honest. If you associate yourself with horrible people and do nothing to stop their bullying, you are kind of guilty by association. Also, I find it a bit hard to believe that someone who used to protect kids that were bullied on, all of a sudden wouldn't recognize bullying when it practically hit her in the face.
Also, for future reference.... when you find a notebook with very detailed information about a shooting, you turn it in damn it. You do not believe a person when he/she tells you that it's just an idea, grown out of frustration, never meant to become a reality. You don't keep going over there and kiss the bastard. People who plan massacres aren't cute, romantic or just misunderstood.
This is kind of an ugly book. Filled with hurt, pain, horrible thoughts and ideas, terrible people, bullying, mistakes, growing up and romance. S Walden sure knows how to write about very difficult subjects (if you don't believe me, go check out [b:Going Under|17337522|Going Under|S. Walden|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1364409096s/17337522.jpg|24070983]).
The 'finale' was difficult to read and kept me up for a bit (though that might also be because it was almost 3 am by the time I finished the book). I had to finish this book. Not necessarily because I loved it so much, but mostly because I just couldn't wait to see how it ends. The ending was a bit of a shock and a suprise. Which I loved, because these days you can usually see twists coming from a mile away.
Difficult book, difficult subject matter, annoying people, well written, intriguing.
Give it a chance, it's a very interesting read. But be mindful of the fact that this is not a happy book and if you can't deal with these settings, stay away.