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review 2015-09-19 19:33
Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn (Thieves' World #2)
Tales From the Vulgar Unicorn - Lynn Abbey,Janet E. Morris,A.E. van Vogt,Andrew J. Offutt,Philip José Farmer,Robert Lynn Asprin,David Drake

This review is written with a GPL 3.0 license and the rights contained therein shall supersede all TOS by any and all websites in regards to copying and sharing without proper authorization and permissions. Crossposted at Bookstooge.booklikes.blogspot.wordpress.leafmarks.com & Bookstooge's Reviews on the Road Facebook Group by Bookstooge's Exalted Permission.


Title: Tales from the Vulgar Unicorn

Series: Thieves' World

Author: Robert Asprin, Editor

Rating: of 5 Battle Axes

Genre: SFF

Pages: 299





A continuation of the Thieves' World anthology, where we get novellas to short stories about various characters and their adventures in the grubby city of Sanctuary.


My Thoughts:

This stuff was ok. Kind of a like a Forgotten Realms but in one city instead of multiverse and short stories instead of trilogies or series.


My only sticking point is that no character is really likable. You have some slightly sympathetic ones, but none that you want to cheer for. It really is a collection of scummy people. There are 10 books in this anthology series, we'll see how long I stick with it :-D

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review 2014-12-20 00:57
Vox by Matteo De Longis


VOX is an original raphic concept artbook that combines musical instruments, women, and electric colors.



I thought that the art styles of many of the images were creative and well executed. I do, however, have a problem with the amount of female nudity present. It was almost as if it was on every page. I wanted to enjoy this artbook but I just found myself feeling increasingly repulsed as I continued through the book.


2/5 Stars

I received this from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review. If there was not as much nudity to the extent it is currently at the point of being both vulgar and sexist I would have found it more enjoyable. Also, despite the artistry being creative, the topics of sex and rock n' roll is not. 

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review 2014-11-27 12:22
Colleen Hoover "Maybe Someday"
Maybe Someday - Colleen Hoover

I am done! Done, done, done with this novel. I am hugely disappointed with Hoover.



I hate when authors use other people's illness to build up their main character. It's wrong on so many levels, it's completely disrespectful and insulting. Hoover inadvertently says it's ok to lie to people if they are sick, it's ok to treat them differently because of it. It's ok to set them apart. That has another name, too..


Let's talk about Maggie, Ridge's sweet girlfriend who is sick with a terminal illness. Came to the point where she got so sick and had to be taken in to hospital, where Sydney finds out about her. I FLIPPED OUT!


So this is the reason why Ridge is so hell bent on staying with Maggie, she's sick. And we are supposed to say what? Awww Ridge you're a guy and a half! Living with the woman you are falling in love with and lusting over, but not being honest to the sick girl because of your guilt trip. Well here's a news flash: Maggie is a person, Maggie is not pathetic because she's sick, Maggie deserves the same consideration you give to the other cheating bastards in this story. She is used as a backdrop to highlight Ridge's maturity, her illness a cliché tearjerker that is supposed to enhance the angst in this novel. Low blow.


Ridge is placed up on a pedestal because of his choice of not leaving a sick girlfriend behind, no matter how he truly feels about her, because he RESPECTS Maggie.


If he really respected Maggie, and her illness he would have been honest, and given her the benefit of a doubt that she can think for herself. What do you think Maggie's choice would be? Would she like to be in a relationship with a dishonest cheating asshole, that is only staying in a relationship with her because he feels guilty, and he believes that's what's expected of him? Or do you think that she deserves enough RESPECT to make her own choices in her life, and to maybe find somebody that's not lying to her face because of imagined obligations? Here's a quote:


She sighs and turns her head, looking straight up to the ceiling. “I’m fine. It was just an insulin issue.” She turns back to face me. “You can’t baby me every time this happens, Ridge.”

My jaw clenches at “baby me.” “I’m not babying you, Maggie. I’m loving you. I’m taking care of you. There’s a difference.” - oh really? What about all the touching, all the kissing, all the messaging with Sydney? All the lyric writing, and singing?

Loving you? Taking care of you? UP YOURS RIDGE!


Just how do you think that poor Maggie would feel if she knew the truth? Would it make her happy to know her boyfriend thinks she's so pathetic because she's sick, she doesn't deserve to be treated equally? That all of his lies, and taking care of her comes out of his inability to deal with HIMSELF in this situation, to know he's not moving on with his life because he couldn't live with himself if he did. And finally after knowing all that, realizing that no matter what he says, this is not even remotely about her, it's all about him. Wow what a man, what a keeper, what a fucking hero.


Ridge knew he was attracted to Sydney when he moved her in. If he wanted to do the right thing, he would have helped her find a place to stay. Sydney knew she had the hots for Ridge, and after she found out he had a girlfriend, she should have done the respectable thing and pissed off. Ridge and Sydney are Tori and Hunter. Double standards? Hell yes, and I HATE DOUBLE STANDARDS! And the rest? What kind of message is Hoover trying to send? 

They knew what they were doing. Ridge is a cheating, pitiful asshole, and Sydney a self-absorbed hypocrite. I had enough of this shit.

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review 2014-11-23 22:04
Belle Aurora "RAW"
Raw - Belle Aurora



I was torn between a 1 star review, and a 5 star review. If this book was meant to be as it read, a parody, honestly only the sky would be the limit.


But alas it wasn't and therefore, you got served! :D


Let's start with Lexi shall we? She is a social care worker, and that seems to be a superpower, because it is enough to portray her amazing selflessness, and allows her to jump to some pretty awesome conclusions in life. Like this:


“George, my bipolar neighbor, would never lay a hand on me. The guy loves me! Being a caseworker, the first time we spoke, I picked up on his behavior right away.”


Poor George....and what else???


“I have told George that I worked with a lot of people who suffered mental illness, and if he felt a panic attack coming on that I would be there for him....” ain't she a saint? Awwww, and so completely clueless about bipolarity for someone who works with mental illness.


But hold your horses folks! The show isn't over yet! She gets attacked by a would-be rapist in front of her house, and saved by her stalker. Her caseworker superpowers obviously stretch further to give her superhuman hearing as this occurs: Eventually, I hear soft pings hit the ground and realize my attacker has lost some teeth."


You gotta admit, that's something else right there.


Does she call the police? You know - as a social worker, who deals with victims on a daily basis, as well as mental illness of course, she knows how important it is to have someone like that off the streets. Nope. Her savior and stalker says “It's taken care off” and she shrugs.


Her stalker is a man by the name of Twitch, colored pretty with an array of gang tatts, and wears a signature black hoodie, whilst engaging in some light afternoon stalking. And yet again, here we see the evidence of the awesome reasoning superpowers of being a caseworker.


“I always see him on the street, wearing the same clothes. My caseworker brain automatically assumes he's homeless.” -seems legit.

“I know that everyone is different (you don't say), but what I am sure about Twitch is that he's a sociopath.” - I agree, especially taking in account one of characteristics of sociopathic behavior being unable to empathize with the pain of others. Such as he didn't, when he saved her ass from getting raped and all that jazz.


Conclusion...she's real smart and stuff.


In the aftermath of her attack she's left to deal with being “Blue, a little like a two dollar ho, and still shaken from last night's attack.” -understandable, I guess. So she cheers herself up by singing Ginuwine's hit track Pony. You know it?

If your horny, Let's do it
Ride it, My Pony
My saddle's waiting
Come and jump on it …. yup trauma does weird shit to people.

Anyhoo – the sociopath homeless stalker keeps breaking into her apartment to pant at her neck like a mastiff while she sleeps, and the inevitable sex scene happens. Now I've heard of tantric sex, but this is impressive on a whole new level, as it helps her deal with herself and the world around her.


“..he pushes the tip of his thumb into my back entrance...and I know what this is. This is Twitch asserting his role.” LMFAO ass-erting, oh dear god, couldn't make this shit up even if I tried.

Apparently for reaching the inner equilibrium in one's life, you require nothing but a finger up your ass. Quick, somebody call the monks! They've been doing it wrong all these years!!!


Did I mention his pierced cock?

That does things to her like: “...having my G-spot tickled...” - oh,for the love of all things holey. I mean I can relate to that, witch girl doesn't like to have her G-spot tickled? And of course, never being the one to shy away from using her caseworker deduction techniques, Lexi chooses to add to her description of Twitch as being so much more then a homeless sociopath as she  provides us with a deeper insight behind the chosen ornamentation of his phallus.“I think it takes a selfless man to pierce his cock just for the pleasure of women" - Just how deep is that? Ghandi, pack your shit, and get the hell out, we got a new player in town. “He rocks into me, and the connection – the closeness – feels almost intimate.” -strange how having sex would do that, really.

Then there is the very different orgasm: “...he thrusts so hard, so deeply into me, that it feels like I am bouncing on a trampoline.”

Alrighty then. Guess she did get to ride the Pony after all.


After the sex that is clearly transcends this plane of existence, we have Lexi struggling to find out just who Twitch really is. Even when he introduces himself as a co-owner of a multimillion plastics factory, she doesn't get it. She's been to his office, and didn't get it. She didn't use her mad caseworker skills to I dunno....google it. She would have us think that he is using his gangsta self, with his gangsta tattoos, to sell Tupperware in some back alley, surrounded by his homies. I know..thug life be hard, y'all.


If I listed every single nugget that made me crack up reading this, I would soon run out of internet. Still tho i want to take this opportunity to say thank you to everybody who has taken the time to recommend this unique masterpiece to me. I can't remember the last time i have laughed so hard while reading a book. xD


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review 2014-04-06 14:58
Poetry as a Lifesaver
The Vulgar Boatman A Brady Coyne Mystery... The Vulgar Boatman A Brady Coyne Mystery - William G. Tapply

I’ve read many of Tapply’s books and regret his passing.  I’ll continue until I’ve read all of them.  This happens to be one of the early ones I had missed.  (They needn’t be read in order.)


Tom Baron has a problem.  He's running for governor when his son's girlfriend is found dead with cocaine in her body and his son has disappeared, obviously a person of interest for the cops.  So he calls his lawyer, Brady Coyne, who very reluctantly agrees to help look for the son. Never one to bend the rules Brady happens on a trail that may very well test his friendship with Tom and throw the gubernatorial race into turmoil.  Reluctant to participate in what’s normally better done by the police, Brady is dragged into researching some things he’d rather not know about.


I only wish there had been more legal shenanigans.


The more exciting moments are leavened by Tapply’s prosaic view of the law: ;“I spent the next hour or so on the phone, doing the things that make the legal profession exciting. I set up two luncheon meetings with attorneys for the next week, I declined an invitation to serve on an ad hoc committee for the Bar Association. I checked back with the Coast Guard, which had not found Frank Paradise’s boat. I reconfirmed my golf date with Charlie McDevitt. I called a travel agent about a junket to the Madison River in Montana. I touched base with a few clients. A thrill a minute. Real Perry Mason stuff. 


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