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review 2017-06-26 01:57
How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie

"One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's reaction to them."

As I read this book the main word that kept jumping out at me is 'manipulation.' 
By doing (or not doing) certain things, you are kind of manipulating the person into doing what you want. I am not a proponent of manipulation by any means. I do feel that helping the other person come to their own conclusions through some of these principles is helpful. 

I read a review on this book by a reader on GoodReads and she said that this book had a negative effect on her life. With any self-help books that you read, you must take things with a grain of salt. With "How To Win Friends And Influence People," I believe many of the insights are mainly geared to a person who is in business (salesperson.) That is not to say parts may not be applied to personal friendships/relationships. I think you have to remain true to your personality and not force something that is not natural. 

The negative reviewer said "The book basically tells you to be agreeable to everybody, find something to honestly like about them and compliment them on it, talk about their interests only and, practically, act like a people pleaser all the time. After being a smiley happy person with loads of friends for about a year, the unpleasant realization began to creep in, that by being so agreeable to everybody else, I rarely ever got my way. I also sustained friendships with people who were self-centered, so talking about their interests was all we got to do together, which drained me of my energy. The worst thing still, is that by trying to find something to like about every person, I completely disregarded their glaring faults. It didn't matter that those people did have redeeming
qualities - they weren't redeeming enough! I ended up with a bunch of friends I didn't really want and, because I was so preoccupied with "winning" those friendships I missed out on the chance to form relationships with good people."

I think what the reviewer did was to conform to the different principles and took them to heart a bit too much. There is definitely a time and place for everything and if you're using these principles all of the time, well that can seriously get tiring in my opinion. If you're thinking of reading this book because you are lonely & want friends, don't read it. 

I read this book on my Kindle and plan on going back to all of the notes I highlighted. A lot of what is presented in this book is common knowledge, it's just that it is presented in a way that really makes you think about how to use the principles. Having examples of each is also extremely helpful.

I think this book should be a requirement for college or anyone working in a business setting. I also believe it was completely written at the time aimed towards salesmen. Not all people have the natural ability to do the things presented in this book; some do. This book is obviously a best seller for a reason and I think the reason is the way the principles are presented.

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review 2017-06-05 18:09
Book Review: The Drama Of The Gifted Child by Alice Miller
The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self - Alice Miller,Ruth Ward

I picked up this book thinking it was going to be about what everyone thinks of when they hear the words 'gifted' children....the academic or artistic kind. That it was not.

The context of gifted in this book refers to a child who is a victim of their parents actions and how the child deals with those actions by suppressing their wants & needs and becomes ultra sensitive due to the narcisisstic parent(s). (Narcissism in this book does not necessarily mean self-centered, and the author touches on that subject as well.)

I think everyone could probably see bits and pieces of their life in some of the examples shared in this book. No parent is perfect and many different generations of parents believe in different things. The main focus in this book is that children suppress their feelings, wants and needs to please their parents. Not exactly earth-shattering information to me, but important because if a child continues to do this, they lose their true-self and will most likely struggle with this throughout their life, which introduces the need for therapy later on to uncover why they're suppressing what they really want out of life.

The book is definitely written for other psychologists and not necessarily the general public.
I found myself bored at times because it seemed as if points were being restated over again.
I wish I had highlighted some of the 'light bulb' areas of the book because there were definitely some good nuggets within the text. I just think the book was a bit drawn out on the topic it covered.

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review 2017-05-30 22:54
The Development of Moral Theology: Five Strands (Moral Traditions series) - Charles E Curran

A significant contribution to our understanding of the development of moral theology. Accessible and enlightening, this is a useful book for anyone seeking to understand what differentiates Catholic moral theology from the rest of Christian ethics. 

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review 2017-05-16 08:37
11 minutes of our unconsciousness
Eleven Minutes - Paulo Coelho

Lets talk about sex, said Paulo Coelho and bravely dug into the subject in his simple, beautiful, and unassuming way. None tell us why 11 minutes is so important when we are kids. Why we can not move this short period of unconsciousness into a beautiful bliss of 30 min, 1 hour, 2 hours love making. So difficult to comprehend that we are chained by 11 minutes of unconsciousness, and women in Paulo stories explore all sort of subjects, from spirituality to loneliness to long term relationship dilemmas and in this case: sex. I loved the story and his approach. A must read

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review 2017-05-16 08:32
Best of Classics
The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,Richard Howard

Love to review Little Prince as much as I love to pick it up and read it for the 100th times. It came to my life for the first time as a school literature so I had to read it. At the age of 11 or 12 I enjoyed a different level of the story. Picked it up again when I was 20+ and got surprised with hidden meaning and levels, read it at 30 and came back to it just a couple of months ago. It is a type of book that inspires you without any pretense. Great to know you Little Price, thanks for returning to my life when I need you!

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