logo
Wrong email address or username
Wrong email address or username
Incorrect verification code
back to top
Search tags: advice
Load new posts () and activity
Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2018-06-23 15:55
Is Death owned by Big Business?
The American Way of Death Revisited - Jessica Mitford

The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford blew my freaking mind. There's no other way to say it. I took 4 pages of notes after finishing it and then bought my own copy so that I could reference back to it. As you might have guessed from the title this is another book about death culture and funeral practices in the United States. (Here are 3 more on the topic: Caitlin Doughty 1 & 2 and Bess Lovejoy.) Mitford gives a comprehensive look at the funeral industry in America up to the last update of her book in 1997. (A small portion of the book compares the US outlook on death with the UK and there is a stark difference.) She does not shy away from making her points about the injustices committed by those working in the funeral industry. She discusses the methods employed by everyone from funeral home directors to gravestone manufacturers. This book was a definite eyeopener in terms of what is actually legal when it comes to the handling of the dead. (Spoiler alert: pretty much everything.) 

Alas, poor Yorick! How surprised he would be to see how his counterpart of today is whisked off to a funeral parlor and is in short order sprayed, sliced, pierced, pickled, trussed, trimmed, creamed, waxed, painted, rouged, and neatly dressed - transformed from common corpse into a Beautiful Memory Picture. This process is known in the trade as embalming and restorative art, and is so universally employed in the United States and Canada that for years the funeral director did it routinely, without consulting corpse or kin. He regards as eccentric those few who are hardy enough to suggest that it might be dispensed with yet no law requires embalming, no religious doctrine commends it, nor is it dictated by considerations of health, sanitation, or even of personal daintiness. In no part of the world but in North America is it widely used. The purpose of embalming is to make the corpse presentable for viewing in a suitably costly container; and here too the funeral director routinely, without first consulting the family, prepares the body for public display. - pg 43

I include this lengthy quote (and another in a moment) to illustrate the importance of being educated about what your rights are both as the deceased and as the loved one making the arrangements after death. Mitford includes accounts of deliberate fraud by members of the funeral industry against the grieving. (Many funeral homes even include in their pricing grief counseling!) The frauds range from offering 'package deals' with no options for opting out, non-disclosed fees prior to invoicing, refusal to provide itemized statements for services, or inflation on pre-need arrangements (example: plots purchased well before death). I think this is a book that every single person should read because it discusses in depth a topic which is considered taboo in our country but until it is talked about openly and frankly as Mitford does the funeral industry under its many guises will continue to take advantage of the average consumer. Know your rights, people! 10/10

 

And speaking of rights I'd like to leave you with this bit of advice from the last chapter of Mitford's book:

Send a friend to two or more mortuaries to obtain their general price lists and casket prices. Ask for the cost of direct cremation, including transportation costs and crematory fees. Likewise, for the cost of immediate burial. Pay no money in advance. If death has not yet occurred and you wish to pay in installments, do so by setting up a Totten Trust, naming yourself or a relative or close friend as beneficiary. Remember, above all, that many funeral homes have a "no-walk" policy, which means simply that if and when you start to walk out, the fee will come down, down, down until a level acceptable to you is reached. - pg 274

 

 

What's Up Next: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Annie Barrows & Mary Ann Shaffer

 

What I'm Currently Reading: Condoleezza Rice: A memoir of my extraordinary, ordinary family and me by Condoleezza Rice

Source: readingfortheheckofit.blogspot.com
Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2018-06-19 18:47
Friendly advice
Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar - Cheryl Strayed

Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed is a collection of the letters and responses that were printed in the advice column, "Dear Sugar", from The Rumpus. The topics range from love and marriage, cheating, identity (sexual and otherwise), parenting, relationships with parents/children, grief, and abuse. Strayed does not pull her punches and she doesn't apologize for it either. She somewhat softens the blows of her blunt advice and observations with endearments like 'sweet pea' and 'honey bun' but instead of sounding condescending it feels like it could be delivered by a trusted confidant. Lest you think that she gives this advice from a rather standoffish perspective it is often conveyed through her own personal experiences and struggles. When the column was originally written her identity was unknown which makes the intimacy and the rawness of the letter writers and her response to them such a unique and wonderful thing. If you've ever experienced turmoil in any area of your life (and you'd have to because that's just a natural part of things) then reading such real, honest advice delivered with love and respect is a welcome breath of fresh air. I laughed, cried, and goggled with incredulity while reading this book. It's an excellent palate cleanser if you're in a book reading rut or a great way to kick start your summer reading adventure. ;-) 10/10

 

The inner flap contains some great quotes. [Source: Cook, Wine, & Thinker!]

 

What's Up Next: The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford

 

What I'm Currently Reading: Condoleezza Rice: A memoir of my extraordinary, ordinary family and me by Condoleezza Rice

Source: readingfortheheckofit.blogspot.com
Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2018-06-15 18:46
Everyone's TV Dad
The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember - Fred Rogers

The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember by Fred Rogers was a no-brainer for me because his show was and still is the loveliest program made for children. The book is a collection of quotes, songs, speeches, and anecdotes from Mr. Rogers on his philosophies on the topics he knows best: children and being a good human. It's divided into sections which in my opinion did nothing for the organization of the book because the subjects very loosely corresponded to the material gathered under the headings. So much of this book is packed full of amazing lines that I immediately shared via social media while others sadly seemed to be added as an afterthought or filler.

 

A few quotes that stood out to me:

“When we love a person, we accept him or her exactly as is: the lovely with the unlovely, the strong with the fearful, the true mixed in with the facade, and of course, the only way we can do it is by accepting ourselves that way.”

“It's very dramatic when two people come together to work something out. It's easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.” 

My favorite part was the introduction which was written by Mr. Rogers's wife and included stories of his upbringing, how they met each other, and what he was like off-camera. Turns out that he was so work-oriented that she often wondered if he was actually enjoying himself. (I really hope he was.) If you're looking for a positive lift (and I don't know why you wouldn't) then this is the perfect little book to leaf through. His message was always clear and never more so than in this little book which reminds us to always be kind and never shy away from talking about feelings with the children in your life. A simple enough concept but one which we need to hear now more than ever. 8/10

 

 

PS I have no idea why the font sizes are so screwy in this post but I couldn't for the life of me change it so...

 

 

What's Up Next: Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life From Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

 

What I'm Currently Reading: The Letter, the Witch, and the Ring by John Bellairs

Source: readingfortheheckofit.blogspot.com
Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
review 2018-06-14 08:01
Dorothea's Advice For The Lovelorn - Cherie Mitchell

 

This was a sweet, humorous, light, clean quick-read romance. Dorothea is a young adult out on her own. Recently fired from her job as a waitress, she needs to find employment quick. Her best friend Mel sees an ad for a job opening as an relationship advice columnist and urges Dorothea to apply for the job. Dorothea is doubtful if she would get the position if she is honest about her young age and lack of experience and success in romance, so she pretends to be her sage Italian grandmother to dispense romantic advice to those that right in. She is also beginning to wonder if she will ever find Mr. Right. Every guy that happens along, even if they go on a date, ends up being just a friend and not by her choice. She is beginning to wonder if she is someone a guy can love. 
Because of her lack of experience in the relationship department, she asks her grandmother the questions written to her, pretending they are actually about herself or a friend. Dorothea ends up learning some powerful lessons in honesty, after realizing that her "white lies" weren't harmless and caused people she cared about to distrust her. 
I enjoyed this book, and since it was clean and no foul language or questionable situations, I would feel comfortable with a young girl who is developing an interest in the romance genre reading this as well. I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Like Reblog Comment
show activity (+)
video 2018-06-10 14:29

This is a voice-over video with a slideshow of photos, some might seem random. The important thing is the story and I am feeling more like doing voice-overs right now. I was given unsolicited advice on how to change my appearance by photoshopping my face!

 

Storytime of how my mom jumped to my defense and I witnessed her and a 70+-year-old man have a virtual catfight.

More posts
Your Dashboard view:
Need help?