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Search tags: are-you-fucking-kidding-me?????
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review 2016-09-08 00:03
Zero stars.
Zero Day - David Baldacci

Red.
Poorly written.
Cliche-filled.

This is a book. It is a book with a red cover. It is written in short sentences. Like this. That is supposed to make the reader feel like things are happening. I guess.

This book is about a man, John Puller. I will call him Puller. Always. Puller is in the Army. He's just a man. In the army. Where he belongs. He investigates things. Like a badass. Sometimes, he saves people's lives. Except when he fails. He remembers combat. Sleeps. Lightly. M11 in his hand. Three seconds to wake and shoot. He has many medals. Medals are not important to Puller but they impress people who are impressed by such things. Superficial people who are impressed by superficial things.

In West Virginia, things are polluted. Water. It's black. There are rich men. They get rich from mining things. They own everything, and they sleep with beautiful women. The people are poor. Sometimes they are desperate. They make drugs. In the basement. There is a bunker. This might be important.

Puller goes places. He goes there for one purpose. That purpose is not making friends. He gets there early for one purpose. To find people first. Before they find him. He doesn't like being found.

Seven dead bodies. They stink of death. Puller showers. He wants to wash away the stink of death. The stink of death sticks to him. Like glue. He cleans out the cat box and is suddenly hungry. Food will have to suffice. For now. Whatever that even means.

Puller is tough. He is the toughest guy of all the tough guys. This is his book. Fuck this book.

 

********************************


This is one of the worst books I have ever read. It is cliched, the writing is wooden, the plot is silly, John Puller is a Gary Stu, and the entire thing is a giant wish-fulfillment for men who think that if they only had a gun and some military training, they too would be invincible. If this is a serious representation of David Baldacci's writing, I have no idea how he ever got a Big 5 contract.

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review SPOILER ALERT! 2016-07-16 20:15
Barefoot - Michelle Holman
DNF at 32%
What I thought while reading it was that surely I was insane for reading more than ten percent of this crap.

Warning:
Strong language and spoilers ahead!

What makes this a clusterfuck of epic proportions:
1st- Well the main characters are two fucking idiots, who happen to hate each other but who want to bang one another... just because... which was okay as long as the author realized that they no had no spark whatsoever when it comes to ROMANCE.
2nd- Still related to the first point, I really don't find "hedgehog romance" all that interesting: honestly they were just better of killing one another. Also, she's a cop, she could probably get rid of the body somewhere... despite the guy being "family".
3rd- If a woman says that she doesn't want to have kids, and that she wants to focus on her career, the author should STAY ON THAT PATH, and not give her a FORCED PREGNANCY.
4th-The whole thing becomes even more UGH, when the main character reaches the time limit for an abortion without having a clue that's she's PREGNANT, because she's one of the special ones who bleeds while pregnant!
5th- The guy who got her pregnant suspecting that he may have gotten her pregnant in the first place, but what the hell! Maybe she isn't, so why should he say anything?!
YOU FUCKER!
6th-The idiot above saying that SHE IS GOING TO KILL HIS BABY!

You know what? If you want to write a book about how pregnancy can change a woman "for the best". And how "pro-life" you are, go ahead and write it. Just know that I refuse to be preached about it. And as such, I'll just throw the damn thing in the garbage.

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text 2015-12-19 21:03
OMFG!!

Can I just state, for the record, how un-fuckably-frustrating it is to do any kind of design change on the blog here? I tender my most sincere apologies to Blogger for bitching this morning when I was creating my new design over there. Because trying to do anything here is like comparing the USS Enterprise NC-1701E to a horse and buggy as a mode of transportation. Or an air-powered nail gun to a rock. Dial up to OC192. You get the idea.

 

The blog here should be user friendly. I am not a tech wizard, but I do know a little bit and I can't get anything right. NOTHING! And it's un-fucking-believably s-l-o-w. I have to step away because I'm so close to doing a Hulk smash.

 

 

 

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review 2013-11-26 18:09
Review: The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
The Hunger Games - Suzanne Collins

Ahh - The Hunger Games Covergirl advertising campaign ....

 

Covergirl have released a makeup line based on The Hunger Games, offering themed collections to go with each of the Districts to allow girls to "get the look". Oh dear. Anyone else spot the irony? Anyone else see the giant point missed here?!

 

We, as humans have mastered the art of "The Blind Eye". There's nothing we do better than pretend everything's alright, nothing's wrong, we're fine. We ignore bills, ill health - even death we can pretend is not rushing up to greet us all. It's easy to forget war, poverty and hunger are all happening, right now in all corners of the earth. Humans are the only species on the planet to have insight into our condition, our fates, our fragility. Animals don't know they're going to die. Humans have to live with the burden of this terrible knowledge for pretty much their entire lives. If we succumbed to the weight of this realisation, we would be crushed because it's horrific and inevitable. There's nothing we can do to prevent it. Think about it too long and it starts to hurt.

 

This ability to square away feelings of guilt, responsibility, fear and file them away in a neat little box, tucked out of sight and out of mind, is part of what drives The Hunger Games. The Capitol lives for entertainment, extravagance and power all the while conveniently turning a blind eye towards who toils, slaves and starves behind the scenes to make their everyday delights possible. Sadly, this is not some fantastic dystopian world of another place, another time, other people living in a greedy, disposable reality. No. This is simply an extreme model for the world as we know it today. Beautifully highlighted by our friends over there at Covergirl.

 

 

Tell me - why, oh why would I want to "get the look" of the oppressed, the controlled, the manipulated citizens of the districts?!! And why, oh why would I ever wish to emulate the greedy, selfish and ignorant citizens of the Capitol?! Hey girls!! Wanna look like a sweat-shop slave?! Wanna look like an under-payed, over worked, abused kid?! Yeah?! Well step right up!! Paint your face!! Play dress up!! Because this is what this range and advertising campaign amount to - the reality is, the world Suzanne Collins created in The Hunger Games has scary parallels to how our society is structured and to trivialise this with goddamn make believe is kinda sickening.

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review 2013-10-16 01:21
Read in 2011
Imperfect Justice: Prosecuting Casey Anthony - Jeff Ashton
I have no idea how Mr. Ashton found the courage to write about this case. It must have shattered his heart. That being said, there is very little in this book that I didn't already know.
 
i followed the trial gavel to gavel.  i will never, ever forget it.  Mr. Ashton and his colleagues may not have achieved their goal, but they are still HEROES.  As for Baez et al, and their "victory celebration"...well, karma is a boomerang, and she's gonna get you.  Get to steppin'!

 

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