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review 2016-04-22 03:09
Heart of Darkness
Heart of Darkness and the Congo Diary - Joseph Conrad

Let’s get right down to it folks: I hate this book. I hate it with a burning passion, and I’m experiencing severe dislike for my English teacher for making me read this pile of shit. She’s a lovely lady, but I don’t understand why she hates me because there’s no other reason as to why she would make me suffer through this book.


I know that this is considered to be some great literary masterpiece, and in the words of my teacher, an existentialist novel but watching paint dry is more interesting than this novella.


I’ve read a lot of books that were written in the 1900s or set in the 1900s and dealt with racism but none of those books have made me nearly as uncomfortable as Heart of Darkness did. I know, I know, racism is a thing but that doesn’t make me any less uncomfortable by the amount of times the n word was used throughout this novel, or the many times where black people are referred to as “savages,” “enemies.”


Moving beyond that, after reading this entire book, word for word, page for page, I cannot tell you not onething about it beyond what my teacher talked about in class. After reading one entire page, I couldn’t tell you what happened on that page. There is a problem here when I can’t tell you what a book is about after reading it. I have no recollection of any of the events that happened in this book.


The story didn’t really go anywhere, there wasn’t a point to it, it was just Marlow talking about an adventure that he had which nobody asked to listen to in the first place. By the end of the story, I don’t think anybody on the ship with Marlow, besides the other narrator, even listened to what he said. I know I’m supposed to care about the events that occur and all the symbolism and stuff, but I couldn’t bring myself to care at all.

This is supposed to be deep and meaningful because it talks about human nature and the darkness in our hearts and yada yada yada but I don’t care.


I locked myself up in my room for days on end so that I could focus on this novella and absorb it and understand it, and I cannot tell you what happens in this story. I can’t believe trees actually died so this piece of shit work could be printed on it.

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review 2015-01-02 22:51
Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later
Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later - Francine Pascal

I hated this book so much. It's been sitting on my shelf for up to two years now because a friend gave it to me as a gift (I forget what I had done for her)  because she knew that I liked books so I felt that because it was a gift I would give it a shot.


But I hated this book. In fact, I just went and threw it in my recycling bin. Sorry friend. I will not have this monstrosity sitting on my bookshelf.


One of the many things that I disliked about this was the fact that it kept switching from the past to the present as well as the narrative. I honestly, didn't care about the flashbacks, I could've done without them. They just meant I was wasting even more of my time reading the book. By the end of this, I just completely gave up on reading the flashbacks and skipped them, some of them weren't even anything new, it was just the same thing told from someone else's point of view.


The writing seemed incredibly choppy at times which made it awkward to read and when it came to the smut, this book is an example of doing smut without having to actually write it. It was embarrassing to read, I felt like I was being judged for having this book in my hand.


The plot, I don't even know what the plot of the story was to be perfectly honest with you. It just felt like the same thing dragging on for dozens of pages. It kept switching from Jessica's point of view to Elizabeth's and each time it was the same crap over and over. Elizabeth angsting over her sister's betrayal, her sister feeling like crap for betraying her sister's trust and on and on it went.




It moved at such a slow pace, at times I began to wonder if time was even passing in the story because so very little was happening. Every single thing reminded Elizabeth of what her sister had done and Jessica did nothing but sob to Todd about how big a piece of trash she was.


It got tiring at some point. You know what, you made your bed now you have to lay in it. If you didn't want to lose your sister then you shouldn't have cheated on her with her own boyfriend. Both her and Todd are scum, if you wanted to be with each other, the simple thing to do would've been to break up with Elizabeth first and then go out with each other. 


This is why I hate stories like this so much! None of this bullshit would've happened if everyone would've just opened their mouths and talked to each other instead of going behind everyone's back.


"I couldn't help myself."




You are a grown ass human being, not a goddamn five-year-old who sees a cookie and wants to eat it no matter what the cost. I couldn't help myself is not a proper excuse because you could've helped yourself but you chose not to because you decided that Elizabeth's feelings were completely irrelevant as long as you got what made you happy.


And Jessica has no right to be sobbing, she willingly did this to her own sister, she can sob and go "I love you," all she wants but the fact that she willingly did this to her own sister speaks volumes about just how far her affections for her own sibling went. She deserved everything that she got.


Todd was a jealous insecure piece of crap like you know what, don't even be in a relationship if you don't trust your spouse to keep it in their pants. Don't turn into the Hulk with your jealousy, take that somewhere else.


I just hated this book so much please love yourself and never read it. Buy this book as a present for someone that you hate if anything.

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review 2014-04-20 21:23
Hunted - P.C. Cast,Kristin Cast

Yet another book of absolutely nothing happening. I have no idea how the Casts are keeping this series going by repeating the exact same things over and over again. How do people not get bored of this series? Absolutely nothing interesting happens at all.

Moving on.

I'm not entirely sure what the plot of this novel was, I felt like there really wasn't one but I guess if there HAD to be one, I'd say it was the fact that Zoey and her friends are trying to escape from the House of Night? That's what everyone seems to be trying to figure out for the most part during this book. They sure as hell talked about the same things over and over, that's for sure.

Oh, and there was of course Zoey making out with guys that weren't her boyfriend, wondering if she was actually the clay doll that had been created for Kalona and Heath being creepy.

The romance in these novels should be made into some kind of documentary showing girls what not to do or look for in relationships. I don't think I've ever been as creeped out or angered by the relationships going on between people in novels as I have while reading this book.

Zoey goes ahead and cheats on Erik the first chance that she gets with Stark. I knew this was coming, I kept telling myself that Zoey would cheat again whilst she was defending her actions to Erik. What else is new? I don't understand why guys keep dating Zoey when she gives them nothing but shit in return.

Zoey begins to think that maybe she really is Ay-a, the girl created from dirt and animated to trap Kalona in the earth. Forget that Zoey popped out of her mothers birth canal and is not made of dirt or being animated by magic, this is an actual concern.

Excessive amounts of description that no one cares about, constantly being reminded that Damien is in fact gay because we might've forgotten from the last page that we read that information on, and really cheesy, cringe-worthy writing. I wrote better fanfiction two years ago. It was just really really bad.

The Casts continue to make references to things that not everyone knows about but they just expect people to understand anyway. They define words like "entranced" but not words like that word that they used that had something to do with stitches. 

I did some research on all of the Mythology that the Casts are using and it turns out they're actually bullshitting a lot of the stuff that they're writing. While Kalona is real in Cherokee legend, none of the official sites that I checked said anything about Ay-a. I don't even know how Nyx and Erebus, FROM GREEK MYTHOLOGY, tie in with Kalona to be perfectly honest.

Heath: Heath needs to die, and soon. He serves absolutely no purpose in this story except to make Zoey seem more desirable. He's failing at his job, all he's managed to do is creep me out and put Edward Cullen to shame on the stalker scale. I'm not even joking when I say that I am actually a little bit scared every time that Heath shows up.

He either needs to die or get shipped to a psychiatric hospital or something because he's just not right.

Zoey: I hate Zoey so much that I cannot even name one thing that I hate more than I hate her. She goes on and on about Damien being gay and how it's not a big deal but no one is making it a big deal. Zoey is the only one who finds Damien's sexuality of serious interest, she's the only one who seems to be really shocked by it so I think that she needs to check herself.

She's apparently become everyone's priestess and everyone looks to Zoey for guidance now. I don't know, she'll probably end up getting everyone killed and then blaming Neferet for it. 

She's apparently gotten even dumber than last time because she seems to think that Neferet is manipulating Kalona into doing her bidding when Neferet can't even get a word in edgewise without Kalona shutting her down and telling her that he's boss. Neferet has absolutely no control over what's happening.

She also comes to the conclusion that yo, just because someone is attractive it doesn't make them a good person and realises that because Kalona is evil, she's not attracted to him even though he's hella fine. Welcome to the real world.

I could write you an entire essay on why Zoey is a horrible character but let's leave it at obnoxious, conceited, flat, boring, annoying, and stupid. We don't want to be here all day.

Erik is stupid. He takes Zoey back even though she cheated on him like a day before she left the House of Night. So yeah, Erik is stupid.

Aphrodite: The only sane character in this series who doesn't shame anyone for doing anything, doesn't give a shit what anyone else thinks and gets shit done. You go Aphrodite, I'm rooting for you.

Kalona: He walks around without shoes or a shirt on for some reason and does nothing except make Zoey want to get in his pants. That's about all that he does . . .

Everyone else: I don't even remember the majority of new people mentioned in this book, they all just sounded and acted the exact same to me, it was hard to differentiate.

And the most important bit of all, Zoey and Heath imprint again. Heath is going to be around some more. Yay.
(If you want to see what my actual reaction to this was as I was reading, click here)

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review SPOILER ALERT! 2014-02-14 22:51
Chosen (House of Night, Book 3) - P. C. Cast;Kristin Cast

I am at a loss as to how anyone could like this series because it is just really that terrible but you know, whatever. 

Before I start, there's one thing that's just been really bothering me about this series but that I keep forgetting to mention, how exactly does the schooling system at the House of Night work? As far as I can tell, they don't have any actual dates that term starts on or something like that. The vampyres just show up and start attending classes. What happens if a fledgling shows up in the middle of the year and they have absolutely no idea what everyone else has been doing for the past year, what do they do?

But moving on.

This book focused more on the fact that Zoey had three boyfriends and she didn't know what to do with them because dumping them was far too easy of a solution, and less on the fact that Neferet was a psychopath who was reanimating the dead.

So basically, it's been exactly like the last three books.

Zoey complains about the most irrelevant things ever. It wouldn't be such a huge problem with me if it weren't for the fact that these problems drag out for like ten chapters before any of the characters reach a reasonable solution that anyone with half a brain had already figured out.

For example, Zoey's birthday is on December 24th and every year people try to combine it with Christmas which is apparently a really big deal for her. She hates that people do that but she does absolutely nothing to express her feelings about this situation and change it. Everyone else, not knowing any better, gets her cute, but useless, presents that she can only use during the winter holidays. They're the unfortunate souls who took time, effort and money to buy her presents.

And of course, because this is Zoey, she's blaming everyone else for getting her really bad presents when really, it's her fault because she never told anyone that she hates the fact that everyone always tries to combine her birthday with Christmas.

But that aside, I think the fact that Zoey's birthday just so happens to be on December 24th is the Casts way of saying that the world is blessed to have Zoey and that she's the equivalent of Jesus.

Zoey gets herself into an even bigger pickle when she decides that she wants to be with Loren Blake as well as Erik and Heath. I'd be fine with that if it weren't for the fact that Zoey decides not to dump Erik and Heath. Clearly Zoey has shit for brains so I wouldn't expect anything less than for her to completely disregard a law that states that a minor cannot be in a relationship with a legal adult or that teacher-student relationships are banned/forbidden. She could at least have the decency to be honest with Erik and Heath about the fact that she's attracted to Loren Blake and that she's thinking about getting with him. She could've at least kept from hurting these people.

But like I said, Zoey has shit for brains and she needs to have three boyfriends for some apparent reason.

Stevie Rae comes back into the story and Zoey tries to reason with her. Stevie Rae keeps insisting that she's a monster and that she's better off alone but Zoey doesn't want to hear it. She tries to help out Stevie Rae and suggests that Stevie Rae come back to the House of Night so that she can get some blood and have a shower.

Stevie Rae not being as fucking stupid as Zoey is, thank God for that, declines the offer by pointing out that being in a building full with so many people would be a really bad idea.

I can see why because she's a blood sucking monster and everyone at the House of Night has blood circulating throughout their body. Zoey, however, does not.

The relationship between Zoey and Erik really starts to go downhill. Everyone who has read the book of course knows that it's Zoey's fault. And as we also know, she also tries to blame everything on Erik and the fact that he's trying to pressure her into having sex with him.




I'm sorry, what? Erik has barely been in this series enough for him to even properly date Zoey let alone pressure her into having sex with him. This is the point where you know that Zoey is just pulling excuses out of her ass at this point. She's ran out of so many excuses at this point that now she's just making up everything so that she doesn't have to apologise and admit that she's in the wrong.


Zoey sleeps with Loren but of course we all knew that was going to happen from the very first book so it's really not that much of a surprise. Erik walks in on Zoey and Loren going at it and leaves outraged. Personally, I'd be more focused on trying not to throw up if I walked in on the scene that Erik did and then get angry.

Zoey then goes on the hunt to find Erik and explain to him that she hadn't meant for him to find out the way that he had.



I don't know about anyone else but that's the least helpful thing that Zoey could've possibly said. It implies that she had planned on keeping her relationship with Loren secret from him for even longer and that she in no way regrets what she did.

She tells Erik that she and Loren are in love with each other and Erik points out that Loren most definitely isn't. I have never liked Erik more than I have at this moment in the book because he just completely shuts down Zoey and points out exactly how horrible she really is.

Of course, as far as everyone else is concerned, Zoey is not in the wrong here and actually stands up for her.

As it turns out, Loren really is not in love with her at all and has instead been shagging Neferet the entire time and was just using Zoey. That was such a beautiful scene to witness.


In the end, Stevie Rae gets turned back to normal and Aphrodite's mark disappears so the consensus is that she's probably human.

Of course, gay stereotypes are forced on to the readers, and so are black thugs, and there's of course the insults to religion because the Casts seem to have a big problem with religion here.

This book is just full of life lessons.

The writing was horrible as ever, the characters all sucked except for Erik and Aphrodite and once again, Loren died, and there was basically no plot going on at all.

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review 2014-02-06 03:00
Betrayed - Kristin Cast,P.C. Cast

I do not know how anyone could possible give these books a rating higher than 0.5 but it's amazing how people will surprise you. Let's start, shall way!

Zoey: Zoey was less infuriating and at the same time I've never hated her more. Why? Well let's take a look at some of the shit that she's spewed.

"Damien sniffed, looking offended and superior and gayer than he usually looked (even though his definitely gay)."

What the fuck does this mean? How does Damien look gayer than usual? We know that she isn't using gay as in happy because Zoey's intelligence isn't that high so we can't expect something like that from her.

"Everyone thought I was the lucky girl who had caught Erik after he’d escaped from Aphrodite’s nasty spiderweb (and by web, I mean crotch)."

I might as well just embrace the fact that I will never understand what this is supposed to interpreted as. The Casts keep bringing back this insult but I don't actually know how I'm supposed to take it.

“I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be.”

THAT IS A LIE AND WE ALL KNOW IT. ZOEY DOES AND THINKS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT SHE PREACHES! MY BULLSHIT RADAR IS ON FIRE! Who is Zoey trying to kid here? This bitch acts like she’s responsible for the very birth of the universe and acts like her word is law. Anything that is against what she thinks is right is immediately labeled as wrong and anyone who disagrees with her is immediately a slut or a ho. She expects people to kiss the very ground that she walks on and everyone who has read this series knows it! And even though she proves that she’s a hypocrite, everything that she says is slutty and makes you a ho is totally okay when she’s doing.

Yeah, Zoey definitely doesn’t act like she’s perfect.



She’s definitely not a hypocrite either.



I think that about sums up what I think of that quote.

But moving on from that, Zoey was even more hypocritical during this book which is pretty hard to imagine given how hypocritical she was in the last book. We have to listen to her bitch some more and for some reason she seems to really want to remind everyone that Damien is really gay. I feel like she thinks we haven't grasped that idea very well or something.

The most annoying thing was how there was this totally unnecessary love square brought into the story. It's not like it was awkward enough reading about Zoey attempting to have hot and heavy make out sessions with Heath and Erik, no, now we have to put up with her making up sexual tension between her and Loren that is not there.

The Cast duo don't know how to write romance properly, they were grasping at straws here when they introduced Loren. I did not for one second believe that Loren was coming on to Zoey. I thought he was being extremely creepy and pedophilic but not sexy.

She seems to be wearing the pants when it comes to the relationship that's going on between her and Erik. She only refers to herself as his girlfriend and the fact that they're dating whenever it suits her. Other times she just makes some poor excuse about how the two of them are not official as a way to justify the fact that she's being a horrible person.

I wipe my hands of Zoey, she is not going to be turning into a better person any time soon.

Damien: Damien has by the far the most fucked up and weird family there ever has been. What is going on with his parents? Someone explain this to me, if you were Damien's parents, would you be more worried about the fact that he's turning into a vampyre and could potentially die if he doesn't make the change, or would you be flipping shit over the fact that he was gay?

Even if I was a homophobic asshole, I would be more worried about the fact that my kid could potentially be dead at any point in time. Then again, I currently have a fever so I could be wrong here.

They keep sending him camping shit and Sports Illustrated in the hopes that it will turn him straight. Okay first of all, just because someone is gay/lesbian doesn't mean that they don't like camping or reading Sports Illustrated or doing whatever else you want to call straight or manly. Hobbies don't have a sexuality, it doesn't matter if you like vaginas, penises, both or neither, a hobby is a hobby. Second of all, I don't know if this is what the Casts think or how they think that teenagers think.

Shaunee and Erin: These two have been bathing in Eau de Desperation by the sounds of it and they're constantly wearing their bitchy pants. Aphrodite hasn't done anything bitchy in a while and she's been shunned by her friends, the last thing she really needs is two girls talking shit about her. And then there's the fact that they want to suck the dick of every single attractive male at this school. Not that there's anything wrong with that but you either actually suck their dick or tone down your lusting. I'm getting tired of them eye fucking every single boy that they see.

Erik: Erik wasn't even in this fucking book for the majority of it so I don't give a shit about him. I just feel sorry that he got stuck with Zoey Bitchface of all people.

Aphrodite: I actually feel sorry for Aphrodite. She's got parents that expect the best from her, the entire school is shunning her and doesn't want anything to do with her and Bitch Shaunee and Bitch Erin are rubbing salt into the wound. Yeah I feel bad for her, compared to everyone else, she's the only one that deserves sympathy at this point.

Stevie Rae: Stevie Rae is stupid and kind to the point of stupid. I don't know what the fuck is up with this girl but she needs to get her undead shit together. She's on her deathbed dying and she tells Zoey, the person that she has known for all of two months that she's her parents new daughter.




Excuse me, but what? You have known Zoey for all of two months and now you're making her your parents new child? How about Damien, why don't you make him your parents new child, his family is pretty fucked up as well. Aphrodite could work as well, her parents seem pretty shit. Anyone except Zoey seems like a great candidate for that spot. Even the flu virus is a better choice.

There was no plot, again. The Casts go on and on about this but there really is no plot. You could about 75% of the story out of this book and you really wouldn't be missing anything at all. In fact, I'm fairly certain that this entire series could be shortened to about three, at the most four books. Instead, there's 12.

Just think about that, this publishing house chose to publish these 12 shitty books when something much better and much more interesting could've been published instead.

Everything else
Of course there was slut-shaming, how could there not be, this is written by the Cast duo, of course they're going to keep preaching about slut-shaming.

I sincerely hope that the Cast duo don't get on to tumblr, they're going to have a heart attack or something when they see all of the horny people on tumblr.

Zoey has the most bullshit excuses as well. She says that she hasn't read her sociology textbook because she's been so busy which is total bullshit. She has not been busy, she's just been freaking out over stuff that is really unimportant and has absolutely nothing to do with her. Like come on, everything that she's dealing with takes about a day to fix, she just doesn't want to deal with anything.

And then there was the whole part where she and her friends came up with an idea to save people on a bridge that was so fucking stupid it was sad. Aphrodite tells Zoey about a vision and Zoey and her friends think that it's a good idea to call up the FBI and tell them about a fake bombing just so that they'll block off the bridge and no one will get hurt. WHO DOES THAT! I get that they wanted to save everyone on that bridge but seriously, that was the best that they could've come up with?

And another thing, Aphrodite can't actually tell the future. No, she really can't. She can see the possibility of what could be the future, but she's not actually seeing the future. If she were, then everything that everyone did to prevent all of those people on that bridge from getting hurt, would end up leading to the people getting hurt. If Aphrodite was seeing the future then everything that she saw would be set in stone, nothing that anyone did would change the outcome of the future.

All in all, I guess it wasn't as bad as Marked so that's a bonus I guess.

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