When it comes to my writing and friends and family I've established clear boundaries. Here they are:
- I don’t talk about my writing even if asked. Those inquiring are usually only doing it to be polite and aren't really interested. In any case, listening to someone talk about their writing is profoundly boring – even for me and I’m a writer.
- I don’t solicit reviews or ratings from them. I try to avoid even the faintest hint of conflict of interest in the support and criticisms I get.
- I very rarely give them my books. If they’re interested they can buy one.
I once went to a birthday party where a friend’s partner had rented a gallery and had a show professionally mounted of her paintings. Needless to say, most of those attending bought some of her art. She was thrilled.
This to me was not a measure of artistic merit. I didn’t buy anything, in fact, I was surprised and not a little offended. This was hardly better than a Tupperware party.
I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to take advantage of my friends and family. I don’t want to demean myself and my work.
The independent publishing industry is rife with nepotism, gimmicks, and chicanery – all geared toward reaching bestseller status. I don’t care if I’m a bestseller, but I do want to become a better writer. I think these practices prevent that from happening by creating a false sense of accomplishment.
You think you’re good, but your not. You’re delusional.
I don’t know if this stand has hurt my sales or not. If it has it hasn’t been significant because I’m just not that popular – with friends or family.
I've also developed guidelines for social media.
I don't solicit followers on Twitter, don't "friend" people on Facebook, and don't appeal to viewers to "like" or "subscribe" to my YouTube channel.
I do encourage comments and criticisms which I faithfully respond to and hopefully learn something from.
Amazingly, some people chose to follow me which is gratifying because it definitely is not reciprocated.
I had one expert tell me "social media is not for you". Really? Maybe just not her kind of social media, the kind where friends and followers are little more than meaningless numbers and bare no resemblance of reality.
I still believe a social media following can be built by someone who has something interesting and original to say regardless of whether he's a friend, follower or subscriber.
Later this month I'll be waiting with Linus in the pumpkin patch.
Stay calm, be brave, watch for the signs
Find reviews, blurbs and buy links to my seven novels and two plays at
Facebook for writing news, my experience as a writer as well as promotions, contests, giveaways and discounts regarding my books
Video book reviews of self-published authors now at
Not Your Family, Not Your Friend Video Book Reviews: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH45n8K4BVmT248LBTpfARQ
Cover Art of books by self-published authors at
More of my original photographs can be viewed, purchased, and shipped to you as GREETING CARDS; matted, laminated, mounted, framed, or canvas PRINTS; and POSTERS. Go to: http://www.redbubble.com/people/rodraglin
View my flickr photostream at https://www.flickr.com/photos/78791029@N04/
Or, My YouTube channel if you prefer photo videos accompanied by classical music