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Search tags: cover-art-collage
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text 2015-07-27 00:21
Nineteen Eighty-Four - Cover Collage

I have to say I'm really impressed with some of these covers. Some of them are very stark and utilitarian. Pretty much like the novel obviously. (I've never liked bottom-right though. I always thought it looked like a bad album cover). 


I like most of the Penguin covers here, apart from the one that looks like a doctor's waiting room. It's a bit boring. But there isn't a headless Julia, so that's something. 


Then there are the slightly more colourful covers. Not too sure about the scantily clad woman though. It's more Peeping Tom then Big Brother. 




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text 2015-07-18 13:24
Wuthering Heights - Cover Art Collage

So who’s ready for a game of ‘Wuthering Heights Bingo’? Eyes down, here we go. 

Bingo Line # 1 - Windswept Yorkshire Landscape (lone tree, pissy weather and/or isolated farmhouse optional)

Some of the landscapes are rather lovely (look, I’m from there, so I’m biased OK?) and made me a bit homesick, until I remembered all the nightmare camping holidays I spent in the middle of nowhere with sheep trying to get in the tent and rain drumming on the flysheet all bloody night. My copy is bottom-middle, but kudos to bottom-right for cramming all the cliches into one cover.

Bingo Line # 2 - Mardy Bloke, Looking Constipated

So here are the chaps. Blimey what a miserable bunch they are. Come on, publishers; Yorkshiremen can be quite happy and smiley you know. Hey, I’m married to one so I know what I’m talking about. Admittedly they get a bit sulky when the cricket team is losing, but as long as tea and biscuits are available they’re usually pretty cheerful. I have to admit a certain fondness for the Pulp! piss-take version of the Mardy Bloke. 

Bingo Line # 3a – Moody Woman in a Wind Tunnel (bonus points for trees, crap weather, and farmhouses)

And here are the females, all getting a bit blown about and doing that haunted, gormless staring off into the distance thing. I do that too, but it’s usually because I’ve lost my glasses.


Bingo Line # 3b - Woman Who Has Never Been Walking in Yorkshire in Her Entire Life

Yep. This lot probably can't point to Yorkshire on a map, and would all have a fit of the vapours if they stepped in a cowpat. In fact top-right looks as if she's already trodden in something nasty. And dragged her hem through it too. So nasty in fact, that top left can smell it. 

Bingo Line # 4 - loved up couple (more bonus points for trees and/or farmhouses)

I think the loved-up couples are my favourites. They’re either embracing or doing that weird looking in different directions thing, reminiscent of a bad 1980s pop video. And they’re always wearing wildly inappropriate clothing, which is either totally anachronistic, or just not suitable for the Yorkshire weather. Speaking as an expert, that lass in the yellow dress wouldn’t last two minutes trying to get up Whernside. She needs a North Face jacket, sturdy walking boots, and a woolly hat or two. I love the couple who look as if they’re skipping to a picnic. They’re so cute with the bunch of flowers and all.

Anyone shouted “House!” yet?

But give me the clichés any day over these abominations. 

Sigh. So we've got not one, but TWO examples of Headless Historical Woman. Gawd, It's just looking so tired now. The only time it's acceptable is if the book is a Tudor bodice-ripper featuring Anne Boleyn.


The landscapes made me laugh out loud. Gorgeous scenes, but they ain’t Yorkshire. We have rolling hills and bleak moorland. Not fucking great mountains that even the Tour de France contestants would struggle with.


The gravestones are hilarious. A wee bit spoilerish no?

And as for “Bella and Edward’s favourite book”. Are you freaking kidding me?

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text 2015-07-11 23:42
The Midwich Cuckoos - cover collage

I love John Wyndham; I know he’s considered a bit old-fashioned these days, and I think it was J G Ballard who described his books as ‘cozy catastrophe’, but he could tell a damn good story.

I was originally going to do Day of the Triffids for this one (and I may still do). It’s probably his most famous book, and has spawned a couple of movies, TV series, and a wonderful radio production on BBC Radio 4. And it has had some fantastic pulpy covers (apart from the Penguin ones which had the triffid looking a bit like a hairy bollock).


But my favourite Wyndham book has always been The Midwich Cuckoos. It was the first book of his I ever read, and I thought it was deliciously unsettling. All the inhabitants of a quiet English village lose consciousness for 24 hours and not long after it is discovered that all the women of childbearing age are pregnant... 


Hey, do you think spooky children with yellow eyes are a big part of the novel?


Not so sure about the emo kid top-left. I don’t think he’d come off well in a fight against the juvenile delinquents on the bottom row. “We’re from Midwich, and we’re not just gonna steal your dinner money, we’re gonna trash your car too”.


I like top-middle, but come on. Did the artist really need to include a cuckoo clock? And the kid in top-right looks like an adolescent Boris Johnson, which is even more frightening than telepathic aliens hellbent on world domination. 


Just in case you missed it, children with golden/yellow eyes are an integral part of the novel. Too bad top-right didn't get the memo. Um, guys. Where does it say green eyes?


And here are some foreign language ones, which have all very sensibly dropped ‘Midwich’ from the title.


I love all of these. The Spanish one looks as if it could have been designed by Modigliani. And the Italian cover looks as if Hieronymus Bosch had a hand in it. As for the Dutch version, all I can say, is you ain't seen nothing yet.


And on to the weird ones, which if I saw them in a bookshop there is no way on earth I would pick them up. 


I know they say you should never judge a book by its cover. But not this time. These covers are seriously bad. The winner of the ‘WTF – did you actually read the book’ award is the one that looks like a 1970s album cover (top-middle). Seriously, words fail me. Did the publisher even read the book? And if he did, what the hell was he on at the time? I mean look at it! Dear god, I need a sit down and some strong coffee.

The cartoony one with the calendar is just bonkers. I have no idea what it’s trying to tell me. And top-left is terrifying. It looks like the Telly Tubbies sun-baby gone rogue. As for the Dutch translation that looks like a medical instruction manual, I can’t even. Big shout out to bottom-middle for failing to understand that the cuckoos are metaphorical and it’s not the cover of Daphne du Maurier’s The Birds. Top-right almost gets a pass. It’s a scene from the book, but to me it looks like the guy got drunk and passed out rather than he inadvertently crossed a mysterious alien forcefield.


So there you have it. An assortment of covers from one of my favourite books. My copy is the Penguin edition with the golden eyes. I picked it up because the cover intrigued me. Mission accomplished 

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text 2015-07-09 02:30
20,000 Leagues of Cover Art

I was going to try The Lost World, but there weren't that many really fun ones. So I decided on 20,000 Leagues under the Sea(s) instead. Like Lost World, it's is one of my favorite books of all time, but also happens to have ALL THE AWESOME COVERS. Surprisingly, the only version I have is in my Barnes & Noble leather-bound Verne collection. I need to invest in a singular copy.



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text 2015-07-09 01:18
The Mayor of Casterbridge - Cover Art

I've been itching to get home from work and do my version of a cover art collage. A big shout out to Hunger for Knowledge for coming up with the idea. 


Obviously I've chosen The Mayor Casterbridge seeing as it's my favourite novel. Though I was tempted to see what delights (and horrors) Jane Eyre would throw up. 


As as far as I could work out, the covers for The Mayor of Casterbridge fall into two categories. Brooding Middle-aged Chap, and Bucolic Country Scene.


Here's Brooding Middle-aged Chap




And here's Bucolic Country Scene



However, I did find some that were quite frankly bizarre. I mean unless it's a feminist version and he's now called Michaela Henchard, The Mayoress of Casterbridge, what the heck is the top left all about? Maybe it's actually Tess of the D'urbevilles but the publisher made a mistake.


And as for bottom right. He was a labourer for crying out loud and wasn't afraid of getting his hands dirty. The guy on the cover looks as if he should be in The Importance of Being Ernest. 



But I still prefer this one, which is my much loved copy.


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