Desperate Times One Shots - hemrage

Three one shots following on from 'Desperate Times.' Just some domesticity with a little angst thrown in. Sadly the sequel 'Desperate Measures' remains unfinished as of Jan 2011.

An excellent dark fanfic from hemrage set in a dystopian world where the birth rate has plummeted. Rape victim Jensen is a 'Gestate,' a man who can conceive a child. He is confined against his will at the Center with 'Insemates' Jared, Sam and Jack who will repeatedly mate with Jensen until he becomes pregnant. Very well written, unputdownable.

Images by mini_moue

I know, I've gone a bit crazy with the plans, but now that I've got the bug I'm going to plan out as much of my year as I can before I need to get started on my final posts of 2015.  I've never planned before, I've always just read what ever caught my eye when it was time to start my next book.  But, if I'm going to plan, I'm going to PLAN.  If I don't make a regimented plan for myself I might fall back into old ways and find myself at the library with no memory of how I got there.  So, this is the full list of books I plan to read in January.  Books that fit in the POPSUGAR challenge, as well as others, all read on my Kindle or laptop (for the few remaining books that have that restriction that won't let Calibre change them to Kindle format).

POPSUGAR Challenge Books

1. A Book that's Under 150 Pages - Unexpected Gifts (Castle Mountain Lodge, #1) by Elena Aitken, 146 pages (read from Jan 1-2)

2. A Book Recommended by Someone you Just Met - The Medium (Emily Chambers Spirit Medium Trilogy, #1) by C.J. Archer, 260 pages (read from Jan 2-3)

3. A Science Fiction Novel - Desperate Times (Desperate Times #1) by Nicholas Antinozzi, 395 pages (read from Jan 3-5)

4. A Book a Friend Recommended - No Such Thing by Edward Lorn, 30 pages (read on Jan 5)

Free choice for the rest of the month, as long as they're Kindle editions I already own

5. Alice in Wonderland by Elle Lothlorien, 325 pages (read from Jan 5-7)

6. Reckless Nights in Rome (Ludlow Hall, #1) by C.C. Mackenzie, 238 pages (read from Jan 7-8)

7. Lip Service by Susan Mallery, 419 pages (read from Jan 8-10)

8. In Your Dreams (In Your Dreams, #1) by Amy Martin, 255 pages (read from Jan 10-11)

9. The Coyote by Michael McBride, 271 pages (read from Jan 11-13)

10. Sunset Rising (Sunset Rising, #1) by S.M. McEachern, 330 pages (read from Jan 13-15)

11. The Governess Affair (Brothers Sinister, #0.5) by Courtney Milan, 110 pages (read from Jan 15-16)

12. A Shot in the Bark (Dog Park Mystery, #1) by C.A. Newsome, 203 pages (read from Jan 16-17)

13. Ticket for Terror by Christopher Parks, 327 pages (read from Jan 17-19)

14. Dare to Love (Dare to Love, #1) by Carly Phillips, 292 pages (read from Jan 19-20)

15. Against the Wall (Against the Wall, #1) by Julie Prestsater, 304 pages (read from Jan 20-22)

16. The Viscount's Christmas Temptation (Dukes of War, #1) by Erica Ridley, 180 pages (read from Jan 22-23)

17. Whisper My Secret by J.B. Rowley, 188 pages (read from Jan 23-24)

And if I manage to get all those finished before the end of January, a bonus book

18. The Drought by Steven Scaffardi, 298 pages (read from Jan 24-26ish)

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8/1 - A really tense atmosphere and plenty of action make this quite the page turner. I didn't like Jimmy to start with, he reminded me of a character from the tv show Kingdom. He was way too ready to use his fists to solve his problems, but once the disaster struck his penchant for fighting became a logical response to what was going on around him rather than the easiest quick-fix option that's only going to make the situation worse.

I didn't realise this was the start of a series until I got to the end of the book and we're left with a cliff hanger. The idea that the police would turn up and declare "everything's fine now, you can all go back to your lives" was laughable and I'm surprised that so many people fell for it. How could they go back to their lives? If what happened to Jimmy and the others with him is any example 25% of the country (if not the world) is dead or injured as a result of most of the population going crazy. Every house, every place of business has been looted or even completely destroyed, most people wouldn't even have a home to go back to. Like in most disaster situations, it's going to take a very long time for things to go back to normal.

I'm not American and my government is not really like the American government, so maybe everything Antinozzi said about FEMA and the government is true or possible in the right situation, but I found it hard to believe the National Guard would behave as they were portrayed. Especially the 'shooting civilians without violent provocation' part. They were no better than the bikers. Frightened civilians were no safer with the people supposedly there to protect them than they were with those known for their violent and ruthless nature.

None of the above means that I didn't have problems with the book, I most certainly did, particularly in the editing department (I know, shock horror! :o).

The first thing I noticed (not an editing mistake) was that the opening words were 'Friday, September 24, 1869'. That's my birthday, 115 years before my birth.

Now onto the editing mistakes (sorry, no page numbers with this eBook):

Location 270
'Had Bill's booming voice waked her up?

That should be 'woken'.

Location 699
'Jimmy shook his head and unlocked the driver door.'

That should be either driver's or driver's side door.

Location 1021
'Carl must've known heard that in his voice.'

Even if you delete the mistakenly added known from that sentence it still needs work.

Location 1280
'Julie gave Jimmy a flash of smile...'

That should be a flash of a smile.

Location 1311
'...keeping together close as Ken had instructed.'

That should be keeping close together.

Location 1365
'He was relieved that Ken had finally made the peace.'

That whole sentence needs to be reworked, something like 'He was relieved that he and Ken were finally able to make peace with each other.' would work much better. To 'make one's peace with someone' means to reconcile with a person, it doesn't work when you change 'make' to 'made'.

Location 1739
'...a gun would become as much of his daily attire...'

The words a part are missing between much and of.

Location 1941
'There's always fish and worse comes to worse...'

The phrase is actually if worst comes to worst, sometimes if worse comes to worst but never as Antinozzi wrote above.

Location 2520
'Jimmy cocked his fists back and threw an exaggerated left hook...'

He only punched with one hand, so that should be fist.

Location 2623
'Many of Ken's people seemed most jealous...'

From the context of the sentence I think that's meant to be almost.

Location 2690
'Jimmy could count three people in that boat, one at the back and steering...'

That and is unnecessary.

Location 3454
'Buck says they even have the blocked on the far end of town.'

Whole sentence needs to be rewritten so that it actually makes sense.

Location 4294
'...raced up to Brenda with a buck and dumped its contents over Brenda's head.

From the context I'm going to assume Antinozzi's not talking about throwing money at Brenda, but a bucket of something.

Location 4444
'They rode in two abreast...'

That should either be they rode two abreast or they rode in pairs.

Location 4591
'Paula told Jimmy of how they'd fled the cities, barely escaping with their lives.'

Paula, her parents and Carl didn't flee multiple cities, they fled one. Therefore that should be city.

Location 4669
'Trying to makes some conversation...'

That should be make.

Location 5070
'Jimmy felt as if a light had just gone off in his head.'

The way that's written it sounds like the metaphorical light has been switched off instead of on, kind of the opposite of the idea I assume Antinozzi was trying to get across.

Location 5106
'"Ken and Patty talked me into leaving Tuscan and moving out here."'

Is that meant to be Tucson?

Location 5343
'"I didn't tell you that we were alone in the woods..."'

That sentence isn't correct, but if you make it correct with the easiest option the sentence ends up being a double negative - I didn't tell you that we weren't alone in the woods... - which while being correct, just doesn't sound right. The whole sentence needs to be reworked, and the following one too, to make it all work properly.

Location 5556
'For all he knew, everybody would have heard about it by now...'

That should be could.

Location 5736
'Fully half of Cleveland's workforce was unemployed...'

Is that an American idiom I'm unaware of? What is the point of the word fully in that sentence? It's not like the absence of the word fully will leave readers thinking that only a portion of half of the Cleveland population were unemployed. I don't get that at all.

Location 6006
'You could've lived the high life, gone to balls and played golf and did all that other stuff that rich people do.'

That should be done.

Location 6243
'He tried standing them off by himself...'

I think what Antinozzi was trying to say was He tried to make a stand....

Location 6280
'He suddenly remembered the backpacks that he and Jon had left them in the woods...'

The them is unnecessary.

Location 6303
'"She's telling them that God has provided plenty for them to eat, in the lakes and forests."
"You ever eat a pine tree?" asked Burt.
"No, I haven't," said Jon.
"Me either," said Jimmy. "Can you do that?"
Ken smiled. Sorry boys," he said, "that must've been before your time."
"Damn, I sure feel old," said Burt.'

What the hell are they on about? Does that mean anything to someone older than my (and Jimmy's) 31 years?

Location 6958
Chapters 6 and 28 have the same opening factoid about the powers of FEMA in an emergency.

Location 7073
Chapters 21 and 29 have the same opening factoid about who President Roosevelt blamed for the problems of his day.

Location 7180
'Unloading and reloading the truck took nearly the better part of an hour.'

It's either nearly an hour or the better part of an hour, it can't be both.

The same location
'...washing it down with bottles of generic soda.

Why do we care that the soda was generic?

Location 7568
'...he found a long-handled spade shovel...'

It's either a spade or a shovel, it can't be both. According to Wikipedia shovels 'generally are broad-bottomed tools for moving loose materials, whereas spades tend to have a flat bottom edge for digging.'

Same location
'He couldn't fight the hitch in his breathing any more than one could stanch a hiccup.

I think that's meant to be staunch, because stanch isn't a word (spell check keeps trying to change it to 'stanchion').

Location 7595
'Jimmy dug until the hole was three feet deep; then took the shovel from his hands and motioned for Jimmy to step out of the grave.'

They can't both be Jimmy, the second one should be changed to Dr Benson as in the next sentence he begins to 'attack the rocky soil'.

Location 7659
'The road seemed deserted and. He knew it wouldn't be for long.'

Bad punctuation to start with, but even if the full stop/capital letter mix up was fixed the sentence would still be awkward. If there was a comma after deserted followed by a but everything would work better.

Location 7742
'"Are you sure you're all right? Maybe Doc has something you could take."
"I'll be fine, Jimmy. I don't want to take anything. I need my wits about me."

Panadol is going to make you 'witless'? That's an extreme and slightly martyrish take on over the counter painkillers.

Location 8128
'That was out of the question since with Paula tied to his neck.'

I know what he's trying to say, but how did that turn into tied to his neck'?

Location 8294
'The last day at the Plant...'

Why is plant capitalised?

Location 8423
'...her eyes streaked with tears.'

Her eyes aren't streaked with anything (if they were she'd be moaning in pain), her cheeks are.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not realise how many notes I'd made. Once I started pointing them out I couldn't see any not worth bringing up, so I had to mention them all, all 37 of them. I still really enjoyed the story, but I'm wondering if four stars is the right rating for a book with that many errors. I've been writing this review for 2.5 hours and I'm down to under 10,000 characters left, which makes this the longest review I've ever written. Funny how that happens when there are things to complain about, but when you love the book so much you want to marry it you have no words except saying 'fantastic' over and over. I would definitely read the next book in the series, but for the right (cheap) price.

Apparently when this girl goes on a diet, she converts all of her sweets cravings into a desperate need to buy books. 60 of them and a completely unnecessary Kindle Fire . Used so cheaper but still...where in the hell am I going to put 60 books? Why do I do this to myself?

But yay books!