While I'm not terribly interested in watching the film on the big screen -- I'd much rather wait so I can watch while drinking and cackling at home -- the churn before the release of the 50 Shades movie has been just brilliantly funny to watch. From the fact that the leads can't stand each other (or the material), to screaming matches between James and the director, to class action lawsuits over branded lube, it is a font of delightful bathos. And you know, a lot of the music is pretty good, not gonna lie. 

But this. This is my everything. 

C.J.'s "admirers" (stalkers) sound like some of the fangirls that wrestlers get...and sadly some girls have been vilified for befriending wrestlers because of jealousy. It's pathetic.