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text 2015-05-11 01:13
How to Work from Home as a Creative Person

(Or, How to Make Enough Money at Your Hobby to Tell Your Boss to Go Fuck Him/Herself)


I have five fool-proof ways to become successful enough at your creative outlet to justify quitting your day job. These five pieces of advice will work for anyone. I should know, because they worked for me!


#1. Win the lottery. Nothing provides financial freedom like being suddenly rich as balls. I'm still mastering this step, but I've heard it's the perfect way to be able to write books and stay home all day watching Netflix.


#2. Have a huge penis or perfect breasts and be willing to video tape yourself performing sexual acts. You don't have to be a pornographer, but you must have a video camera. Sex sells, and people love watching people fuck. Even amateurs. Hell, in some circles, especially amateurs. I've not mastered this skill yet either, but I've done plenty of research in my time.


#3. Speaking of selling sex, write erotica. You don't even have to be good at it. Your work can be riddled with errors and stupidity and people will still buy your work. Most of these people will buy it simply to make fun of you in their book groups, but they bought it, so what do you care. Pro Tip: Throw in sex with monsters, dinosaurs, or robots for even more sales.


#4. Fuck someone important. Find someone whom others listen to and fuck their brains out. Once you're done fucking that person, tell them that you've written a book and would love if they'd pimp your shit. This does not make you a whore. It makes you a business person. Fun for men and women alike!


#5. Get lucky. That's how the majority of us do it. Seriously, there's no special formula to success in this ever-changing literary world. People's tastes change, and you're only ever as good as your last book. You can email me everyday asking me advice and I will always tell you the same thing: I got lucky. I don't buy ads, I don't spam people, I don't seek out review swaps, none of that. I write, I publish, and I sit back and hope that each story finds an audience. It's that simple, and that hard. Do I think this will last forever? Nope. Am I rich? Nope. I make enough off my writing to pay the bills. This is my job, and I'll be the first one to tell you that I'm lucky enough to say that.


This has been a public service announcement brought to you in part by the letter E.



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review 2013-02-12 00:00
Demons of the Rich and Famous (Caden Butcher, #1) - Tawny Stokes I have this book, and I'm rather confused as to why. But according to amazon, I bought it. So I suppose that's that.
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review 2013-01-16 00:00
Demons of the Rich and Famous (Caden Butcher, #1)
Demons of the Rich and Famous (Caden Butcher, #1) - Tawny Stokes This was a quick read that captured my attention the entire way through.The characters were great. Caden has many faults, and knows some of them would really piss his dad off. He's arrogant when it comes to his work as an exorcist. Although, that's not real most of the time. Caden was morally flawed at tomes, but honestly, who can blame him. He spent an entire year in hell with demons that didn't really care for him. I loved seeing him grow throughout the book. Butcher became a little wiser, and hopefully learns to make better decisions. Dan, the demon, was pretty likeable. He's very nonchalant, and doesn't seem to let things rattle him. There are times you question his loyalty to Caden, though. I found it hard to relate to Aspen. She seems cold, and doesn't like to open up. I do hope to see more of her character, and get her story.There aren't many boring spots. There's always some type of action. Many times it leads to Caden getting his butt kicked, which is why I like his character so much. He's human, and flawed. This could easily be a stand alone, but I believe there will be more. I'm pretty excited about that and hope to delve deeper into Aspen and Dan's lives. It would definitely help us to know why they act the way they do.
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review 2011-11-15 00:00
Demons of the Rich and Famous (Caden Butcher, #1)
Demons of the Rich and Famous (Caden Butcher, #1) - Tawny Stokes I really like this book. Many different elements of this book kept me reading it. I loved that the characters is flawed. He is no perfect but always makes mistakes. I like how even how his past comes back to haunt him in a way I never saw coming.Ms. Stokes presents the reader with an amazing and fast paced beginning that keeps the readers eyes attached the book and never wavering. I like how immediately I was able to fall into the characters shoes and feel his every emotions. I love it when authors can help the reader feel and be the characters. The main character, Caden has been through a lot. He is way more mature than most kids. After returning from being a year in hell, he is not the same. The premise alone is not what most books I read so it kept me very intrigued.The plot of the book has good pacing. Never once did I waver from it or feel confused. I like that the reader sees Caden in so many ways. We see him vulnerable yet strong. Happy yet sad. Ms. Stokes gave me story with a great plot that I loved right away.This is a completely different out of the box read for me but I still loved it. I was a little reluctant, but came to enjoy the book. Demon Whisperer is a dark fast paced read that will make your hair rise.(*cursing/implied sex)
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review 2011-07-14 00:00
Afterlives of the Rich and Famous - Sylvia Browne I'll admit that the title snagged me. I realize people have differing opinions on the afterlife and reincarnation. Being a person of faith and having spent a year working at Edgar Cayce's ARE, I've been exposed to all sorts of beliefs, but I won't go into my personal beliefs here. I'll merely review this title based upon it's entertainment value.Really, all you'll get here is a "directory" of random celebrities and historical figures. There's a generous biography of each, some more accurate than others (James Dean is incorrectly listed here as an Oscar winner - he's been nominated but never won). After Sylvia briefs us on the life, her "spirit guide" Francine lets us know what happened afterward.Really, it would be nice to imagine an afterlife where you can go to a ballgame and watch Joe Dimaggio in action while Abe Lincoln sits in the stands, or go to a concert where a seeing Ray Charles headlines, but I imagine the skeptic is going to think it pretty hokey, or a load of BS. The description of people on "The Other Side" is difficult for me to grasp. Why does everybody have to be 30 in Heaven? I recall a passage in the Bible where Christ said there is no Jew or Greek, no male or female, but "all the same in Christ Jesus." I guess everybody being 30 is close enough.Anyway, I picked up this book as research for a story I had in mind. It's entertaining, but I suppose we'll find out what's on the other side soon enough.
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