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review 2018-05-29 12:56
Secrets Best Untold
Secrets Best Untold - Nicky James

First off...this book needs a rape warning. I mean it’s not graphic but 3/4 of this book revolves around the trauma associated with sexual abuse. So to start out this book thinking I’m heading in one direction and be led into this was very troubling...especially since Book 2 includes a self harm warning of which that aspect was quite minimal. 

 

That aside there were parts of this third installment that were absolutely beautiful and the love Alastair has for Brandon overwhelmingly touching. I love their connection. 

 

Once the recovery begins, it happens quite quickly. Almost too quick for my taste...not sure how realistic that is and yet Brandon tends to be one who continues to jump every hurdle set before him. 

 

I would have liked another scene with Chase and Brandon as well. But the HEA was much deserved. 

 

Definitely worth the read but I’m pleased to see the growth of Nicky James since these first books. 

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review 2017-08-12 16:59
I Need a Breather, Recovery Time
Heir of Fire - Sarah J. Maas

No no no.......don't end here....nooooooooooo 

You left me here panting ready to jump and the book ended


Oh the pain you left me in Ms. Maas


 

 

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review 2017-07-28 21:18
The Bigger You Are The Smaller You Become
Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body - Roxane Gay

4.5 stars for brutally honesty, heart wrenching moments, ugly truths, awareness, self confrontations and one brave soul.
Wow, Sh*t and WOW. That was really all I could mutter out while reading this. This girl was changed, scared for life. She held this secret, found a way to deal with it and while saving herself she was also destroying herself. To me it was a heartbreaking story, I wanted healing, like a magical wand waving to make it go away. Magic isn't real, this real life horror happened to a young girl and festered inside her.
What an eye opening tale. I thought I understand the plight of being fat in our society, but I really didn't. She says that, the bigger you are the more invisible you become. Wow, I wanted that not to be true, I wanted us/me to be more as humans but I've thought some of these thoughts, I've made judgmental comments and thought I was being nice. I felt shame. I think I will always remember her pain. I hope her story makes me be a better person in the future.
I wish she would name him, he does not deserve to walk without this weight on his shoulders.

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review 2017-03-13 20:39
Consent
Consent - A.J. Rose

To say that I have pushed my limit on this book is putting it mild.  While the other two books in this series deal with victims of rape and physical abuse, this one does so from the eyes of a beloved character and it was painful.  This one is not to be taken lightly and while I knew briefly what was coming, I was not all together prepared for some of these scenes and the horrific terror our character endured.

 

 

This most definitely was the darkest of the three books so far in this series and if it was not for the love between Ben and Gavin, I am not sure Elsbeth and I would have made it through this book.  But forge ahead we did and what an outcome it was. 

 

This really was quite remarkable and I am so happy to have made this journey.

 

I was stronger with Ben. Always had been. There would always be people who didn’t understand it, either the idea of two men together, or the power exchange we subscribed to. I didn’t care what anyone else thought. The plain truth was I was a better person with him by my side. I could endure more, had more to give back, and had more confidence in myself than ever before.

“I love you,” I said, mouthing the edge of his jaw. “You’re my anchor. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

 “I love you, too. And you don’t have to find out. Because I’ve got your back, Gavin. Always.”

 

So many characters I want to see explored further with more stories to be told and I can only hope one day we will get them.  Until then, I will love on these a little longer.

 

 

Thank you Elsbeth, for being ahead of me on this and holding my hand.  

 

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review 2017-01-16 14:47
Violated
Violated - Jamie Fessenden

Derek Sawyer thinks he has it all—a high-salaried position, a boyfriend, a dog, even a new cabin on the lake—until a business trip with his manager and best friend, Victor, shatters his world. One night of drunken horsing around in their hotel room leads to the most intensely personal violation Derek has ever endured.  - Blurb excerpt from “Violated”

 

Needless to say, this is not a book I would have sought out at all.  Rape for me is very difficult to read and so typically I avoid books with this theme. The violation of another person in that way is just more than my heart can take. So reading this was a personal feat and I am so glad I took this on.  This was breathtaking.

 

“You… destroyed… me.”

 

 

Derek is not only raped but raped by someone he knows…someone he trusted…someone he has called his best friend for over 20 years.  How can he trust again?  Trust a man again?

 

This was undeniably difficult to endure but Jamie Fessenden deserves all the accolades on this one. Jamie beautifully brings you into the mind of Derek. Feeling every emotion, every fear, every internal struggle, flinch, panic attack and self-accusation.  Not to mention feeling how vulnerable a victim of rape becomes and more specifically how a gay man feels. The sensory acuity expressed here is exceptionally captured. From the smell of Victor's cologne to his voice you feel every emotional impact this has.

 

Derek had his own demons from his childhood that certainly did not help his situation at all but learning to live with this incident was a huge part of his journey.  And it was Russ who ultimately became a part of that journey. 

 

Russ…

 

Russ…

 

Russ…

 

I want to tackle you in a hug and cuddle you forever. I just love you.

 

 

This is one of the most caring and loving men I have ever read about.  Patient and protective, he is exactly who Derek needs.  And while Russ has his own POV is it not until nearly 60% that the relationship begins.  And getting their stories before their relationship was a huge part of understanding who each of these men are and what they need.  But no one was more perfect for Derek than him. 

 

Whenever Derek caught his eye, the warmth he found there amazed him. No man had ever looked at him quite like that.

 

 

Even though he knew Russ wouldn’t want him to feel that way, Derek felt foolish and self-indulgent. He reached across the table and rested his right hand over Russ’s left. For a few seconds he did nothing more than rest it there, until he concluded that he liked the feel of Russ’s skin under his fingers. He stroked it lightly with his fingertips and glanced up to see Russ watching him closely.

 

 

The rape and the journey consume nearly every page of this book.  This is not a remote incident but is a part of Derek that has ultimately changed him forever.  How this couple learns to handle each other is quite remarkable. The relationship has some of the most touching and heartwarming moments I have read in a while.

 

Susan had warned Russ that Derek would never be “over” what Victor had done to him. He would never forget it. It would never go away. It would always influence his feelings about sex, about men, about friends…. But he and Derek could still build a life together. They could still love each other. Russ just needed to let Derek heal in his own way, over the rest of his life.

 

 

No doubt that this book will stay with me for some time and undoubtedly it will land at the top of my best of 2017 list this year. 

 

**Highly Recommended**

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