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text 2015-08-21 09:29
Funniest Video I've Seen (NSFW)

 

Okay. We're all adults here. At least I hope we are. But, before you click on this link, you should know a few things.

 

1) This is a video wherein seasoned porn stars tell stories about their grossest experiences. 

 

2) There are no foul or sexual images, but some of these actors and actresses can spin a tale so well that you will see (and possibly smell) everything. My favorite storyteller of the group is Rain DeGrey. I've never seen her in action, but I'd love to read a book by her if she ever wrote one. 

 

3) There is mention of blood and fecal matter and their presence during intercourse. 

 

4) There's much talk about anal sex, but the most intriguing story (for me at least) was the aforementioned tale told by Rain DeGrey, which had nothing to do with ze butt secks. 

 

5) Knowing all these things, please do not blame me if you are disgusted/mortified/unclean after watching this. I cannot prepare you any further. 

 

So here you go. One of the funniest videos I've ever seen. Obvious NSFW is obvious:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XA5j6PBe2s

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quote 2015-07-31 22:44
"I'd rather walk a mile with a cucumber up my ass than fuck you."
Ricochet - Keri Lake

CULLING,Aubree.

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review 2015-04-28 01:56
Review: Rat Queens Volume 1: Sass and Sorcery

If you are looking for a sexy, boozy, D&D-inspired, lady-centric adventure comic (and who isn’t?) then Rat Queens is where it’s at.

 

Betty, Dee, Hannah, and Violet are a quartet of baddass adventuring blades-for-hire, who generally cause more trouble than they fix. The Rat Queens:

 

 

  • Hannah, an elf necromancer and a tall glass of foul-mouthed rockabilly attitude
  • Violet, a kill-first-ask-questions-later dwarf fighter who shaved her beard before it was cool
  • Dee, a human cleric who happens to be an atheist with social anxiety issues
  • Betty, a free-loving, mushroom-popping smidgen thief who ain’t no fool

(I told you.)

 

Sent out to clear a goblin infestation as punishment for yet another drunk and disorderly arrest, the Queens instead find a shadowy, and somewhat ineffective, assassin. One fortuitous, but really gross, troll intervention later, and the ladies are off to find out just who the hell would want them dead. Since the list is actually kind of long, they have to do a bit of digging, while also defending the town from the revenge of an angry troll girlfriend. Between the drinking, the mind-altering substances, family and romantic drama, and bloody altercations, the Queens still manage to uncover a sinister plot and (kind of) save the town of Palisade and their own asses.

 

As someone who has played D&D for years and read fantasy novels since childhood, Rat Queens is just perfect. Wiebe and Upchurch take the best elements of role playing and cut out the self-serious, faux-medieval nonsense and get straight to great storytelling and compelling characters. The Queens, though falling into the race/class categories typical of Forgotten Realms-type storytelling, are not empty tropes, but people. Awesome, flawed, complicated people. The world is built of pure fantasy and is full of glorious, hilarious anachronism: a relic infused with dead souls that is basically a magical cell phone, drinks served in martini glasses, tunics styled like band t-shirts. The art is absolutely gorgeous, from the character designs to the tiny background details. But the best part is the pure, unadulterated ATTITUDE:

 

 

Oh yeah, and it's not for the kiddies.

 

 

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review 2015-03-18 17:29
Taken By The Toaster: An Inanimate Love Story by Dick Thumper
Taken By The Toaster: An Inanimate Love Story - Dick Thumper
This is one of the funniest things I've read in recent years.
 
Onto the plot:
John, a basement dwelling weeaboo neckbeard, spends his time on "intellectual pursuits at [his]computer" and cannot spare any more of it, not even for Christmas dinner, which his mother brings down to the basement so he won't have to join the festivities above. 
 
He is adamantly against moving out of his parents' house for, as he puts it, "Pussy-Slasher underscore 1975 is almost forty and he still lives at home", and seeing as he's a "level two hundred paladin" he's a worthy role model. 
 
But more importantly, for Christmas, John got a toaster. And is immediately enamoured by it. Oh, he tries to fight it, but as he says, "that harlot of a toaster just wouldn't quit".
 
And that was the beginning of a steamy and passionate relationship.
 
Reminded me a lot of this comic (sorry, I don't know who to attribute credit):
 

 

 

 

I strongly recommend it.
 
 

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quote 2015-03-07 15:53
But now it's not just junior high kids who do it, it's everyone, and it seems to me sometimes I've entered some inverted zone, some mirror world where the dorkiest shit in the world is completely dominant. The world has dorkified itself.
The Circle - Dave Eggers

Mercer, The Circle by Dave Eggers

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