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Search tags: pathetically-wanting-dialogue
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review 2015-05-12 21:59
Ever After High: Briar Beauty's Story
Ever After High: Briar Beauty's Story - Shannon Hale

Gah, no. After finally reading any part of the Ever After High series, I am so glad that I never tried to read the first book. It is like a tween Valley high girl lives in some strange form of a Barbie world but with, like, fairytales... and stuff*.

*Terrible puns.

Also, this has mostly 5-star ratings?????

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review 2015-05-12 21:56
Ever After High: Raven Queen's Story
Ever After High: Raven Queen's Story - Shannon Hale

I liked this one marginally better than Briar Beauty's Story, simply because I appreciated that Raven was rebelling against her fate and seemed like a half-way decent character.

The puns are absolutely appalling, the style of writing is too tween for my taste, and the dialogue is painful. I have no hexitement* concerning this series, nor will I ever.

*This is exactly the sort of thing I detest.

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review SPOILER ALERT! 2015-03-07 20:13
The Stepsister's Tale
The Stepsister's Tale - Tracy Barrett

An interesting retelling of the fairytale classic Cinderella. I very much enjoyed the nods to the original fairytale, such as the prince suggesting the girls cut off their toes to fit in the glass slipper, as well as the classic themes twisted on their heels, such as that the prince is a bratty gold-digging fortune hunter and Isabella (our Cinderella) is a young spoiled girl with an unexpected character arc.

The writing was pretty good, though the descriptions and narration were far better than the dialogue, which was slightly lacking. The book was rather dull for the 160 pages in the middle, because nothing really happens, excepting foraging for food and sewing. Once the ball storyline is mentioned is when the whole book starts to pick up, most of the twists are thrown in and acted upon, and the characters are fleshed out. So that is when I started to enjoy the book and not just tolerate it. Overall, I'd recommend it for a once-over, but beware of the slow beginning.

Two things noted that have no affect on the rating: The cover is waaaaaaaay off concerning the characters and the story. None of the clothes look remotely like what they would be wearing, let alone all the make-up. Jane (the brunette) is 15. That cover model looks to be between 18 and 25. Ella is 13, and her cover model appears to be a bit older than that. Anyways, it is just a bit annoying, is all. And then, in the book, Maude, who is younger than Ella and was even younger than she is now when this event took place, once tried her father's riding boots on and they were too small for her to wear. Now, unless her dad was Tom Thumb, I can't think of a single young and slightly malnourished girl whose feet cannot fit into her father's boots.

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review 2015-03-03 07:17
Ramona
Ramona - Helen Hunt Jackson,Michael Dorris,Valerie Sherer Mathes

Yikes.

 

You'll note that one of my shelves for this book is "somehow the movie was better". That's because, roughly 100 pages into this boring peasant festival, I watched the 1936 movie with Loretta Young (who is shockingly NOT half-Indian) playing Ramona and some Italian chap(who is incredibly not Indian) in a terrible wig playing Alessandro. The romance/love story is hyped up and the conflict between the Indians and the whites is almost nonexistent so, obviously, there's a love quadrangle. See, Margarita, who yearns for Alessandro, hates Ramona, who is totes in love with Alessandro. Ramona is loved so much by her sorta-adopted brother, Felipe, (who in no way wants to be her brother) that he is willing to let her marry Alessandro, who was instantly struck by Ramona's beauty and is deeply in love with her. Presided over this is a bitchy matron lady who is Ramona's father's former fiancee's sister and no one is good enough for her son, Felipe. Sounds like a drama filled mess, right? Well, it was actually pretty good. It was in technicolor and evvverything.

But this is not a space for reviewing the movie, much as I'd actually rather do just that...

So the book. It's supposed to be an epic love story/tale of true love tested. Well, if by that you mean "horrifyingly lengthy love triangle fraught with tragic circumstances, angst, and depression that is as dull as the Amazon River is long", then BOOM, you're right on point.

There's one scene where Ramona is actually dying due to her not being able to be in Alessandro's presence because he is gone for a week. Then one night, Ramona awakes and knows, just knows that Alessandro is near. So she hops out of bed, sprightly as you please, and wanders around the estate until she finds him. Is it just me, or does that sound highly ridiculous?

But really, I think the shining highlight of this whole gem is the last 100 pages. Let me elaborate.

Ramona and Alessandro's land is stolen from them by the American Government, who sold it off to some white people. Their baby dies. Depression sinks in. They have another baby. Alessandro is shot and killed. Ramona is incapacitated by grief and is practically at death's door. Felipe shows up and, after an (maybe) appropriate amount of time, professes his undying love for Ramona, who agrees to marry him only because he's been so helpful and she does love him, but SHE LOVES HIM LIKE A BROTHER. They have a bunch of kids, Felipe is blissfully happy, Ramona appears to never be truly happy again, and Ramona 2.0 is the prettiest and bestest and most specialest of all the kids, because her dad was Alessandro.

Ugh.

I'll admit that the writing of the book, barring any and all dialogue, is really quite decent, but I could not, in any way, get into the story. This book was supposed to bring the people to a better understanding of the plight of the Native Americans, and it was supposed to accomplish this through the characters, but I found it to be so much more an depressing lengthy love story than anything else. But it doesn't even matter what was the point, because I didn't care for any of it.

(spoiler show)
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review 2015-01-03 17:58
My True Love Gave to Me: Twelve Holiday Stories
My True Love Gave to Me: Twelve Holiday Stories - Rainbow Rowell,Holly Black,Laini Taylor,Myra McEntire,Kiersten White,Stephanie Perkins,Gayle Forman,Matt de la Pena,Jenny Han,Ally Carter,Kelly Link,David Levithan

As a whole, this collection gets one star. Out of 12 (supposedly cute) stories, I only read four of them the whole way through. This was either because I simply wasn't interested in the story or because I was disgusted by some of the content. Ugh. I wantedcute and fluffy Christmas stories, like the cheesy Christmas Hallmark movies. In fact, that is what I was promised.

It's A Yuletide Miracle, Charlie Brown by Stephanie Perkins was probably the most fitting for that description, except for the weird pagan Yuletide celebration and ...*must check notes*. 2.5 stars

Polaris Is Where You'll Find Me, while perfectly acceptable for any 12-year old to read, was pretty lackluster and boring, and I had zero connection to the characters. 2 stars

Welcome to Christmas, CA by Kirsten White was definitely my favorite. It was cute and fluffy and everything I was promised. And Rick!! That part was wonderful. 4 stars

Star of Bethelem by Ally Carter was okay, but not up to usual Ally standard. It felt too rushed, but maybe that's because I actually wanted to know what the heck was going on and why it had ended up that way. Italian manager man showed up abruptly and made me snigger, because all I could think of was Taccone. But how did Hulda know that she was Liddy and text her/know her number? The whole ending was a whirling dervish of STUFF happening and me re-reading to try and get it all figured out. I really do think that it was a mite confusing and wasn't just because it was 2 am. Still, it was cute. 3 stars

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