How sexy he finds her.

What he wants to do to her.

How long he's wanted to do it.

His feeling on all the parts of her body.

What her breasts look like.

What her nipples look like.

What they taste like.

What her vagina looks like.

What her vagina feels like.

What her vagina tastes like.

Everything he wants to do with her vagina.

What he does to her vagina.

How wet her vagina is.

How sexy she finds him.

What she wants to do with him.

How long she has wanted to do it.

Her feeling on all the parts of his body.

What his body looks like.

What his penis looks like.

How erect his penis is.

How big and erect his penis is.

What color his penis is when it is super erect.

What his penis looks like as it is erect.

What the veins of his penis look like as he is getting erect.

What his penis feels like in her hands.

What his penis tastes like.*

What his penis feels like in side her.

What both their genitalia looks like as he moves in and out of her.

What both their genitalia looks like when he pulls out of her.

What the build up to orgasm feels like.

What the orgasm feel like and do to them.

How much they want to do all the sex again.

What I don't know . . .

Why in the hell these two think they're in love with each other.

Yeah, graphic (though not as graphic as the actual book) but I think represents my problem here well. This book was all show when it came to sex but nothing but tell when it came to them being in "love". They knew each other nearly two years ago in Syria is as much as we're given. In this book they're either talking about the mission or sex. There was one little spate of getting to know each other's backgrounds. "He loved her and now he wanted to know everything about her." Sigh. Okay.

Oddly, there was a secondary couple that met during the book and THEY had real conversation and I can see what they have in common and would like about each other outside of sexual attraction. Why couldn't we get any of that for the primary couple? I might listen to the next book if the library gets it if it is this secondary couple hoping that we'll get even more of a foundation since there is at least already one in place for that story.

The other major problem with future books in this series, aside from knowing there'll be an overabundance of graphic sex supplanting story and unnecessary POV jumping is this strange thing of Walker describing the women as so diminutive they look like children. Thankfully the heroine of this book was adult sized. But the hero of the secondary couple initially thought the heroine was a little boy. Then called her a sexy cherub. Uh, ew. At the end of the book the historian they hired showed up and it's clear she's going to be the heroine of a future book and she's described as looking like a little girl at first. What is that? That's so creepy. Especially when they're going to be paired with these massive former Navy SEALS. It kind of reminded me of seeing Hayden Panettiere and her husband at first. See? But worse because it's going to be so graphically described.

Meh. We'll see. If the library gets any more of this series in and whether or not I run out of other things to listen to I might listen to the next book.

I'm not calling this a DNF right now for whatever reason. I can't explain it. I think I want to see what happens with other parts of the story, and I like the hero, but I just can't deal with this shit now. I'm yelling at the book and making wild hand gestures and it's just stressing me the hell out.

The ex dickbag showed up and she let him stay, too. He has now declared that they aren't leaving until things are better between Ro and her sister. Because she's pregnant and deserves to enjoy this time in her life or whatever the fuck. AND SHE LETS HIM SAY THIS SHIT AND AGREES TO SIT DOWN WITH THEM AGSGDHWNDJCNCSKSNCIEWMNSCOWICNEGANI!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THAT?! And this one is even worse because the sister is a straight up asshole all around. I mean, even more than you have to be to do this kind of thing to your own sister.

Who knows if I'll ever be able to deal with this. Because I frigging hate this so much. Every time. WHY DO ROMANCE AUTHORS THINK WE WANT TO READ THIS CRAP?? Why is this a continuous trope? Why do heroines ALWAYS forgive? 

DO ANY OF YOU APPRECIATE THAT?! DO YOU?

That's a real question, because I have to know who actually likes reading a heroine getting shit on and then forgiving and forgetting because that's super cool or whatever the hell.

The sister has shown up unannounced, it has not even been a full page and I'm ready to set everything on fire. Remember this is the sister who married the heroine's, Ro's, finance while she was at war. Hobag sister has already bitched at Ro for cutting her out of her life. Said she needs to get over it, because she's pregnant with ex-dickbag's baby (his name is Dick, but it's just so apt in many ways). Bitched about where Ro lives being 'so far from civilization'. And demanded Ro let her in . . . AND SHE DID.

Nope. NOPE. If Ro just accepts this and helps this idiot out I swear to God it's DNF time. I don't have the patience for this even though I've had this book on my TBR forever and the author will be at the reader luncheon next month.

No, that was Contact. That movie was annoying as hell.

I can't say the alien situation in this book was all that much better.

There is a lot that's enjoyable about Kline's writing. Even with sucky first person and all. He may be headed into overkill with the pop culture references but they are still fun references. And Wil Wheaton's narration is just plain great. He's not the best with accents, unfortunately, but he brings a lot to the characters and sound effects, etc.

There is a lot of preamble before the story actually gets going. It takes place over two days and a lot happens so some of hat beginning could have been cut to get into the action quicker and give more time to areas that need it.

The biggest problem with this book is plausibility. Obviously it's SF/F so you have to suspend disbelief. That's not the problem because everything you question about the alien backstory our protagonist, Zach, questions as well. Still, lampshading something that doesn't make sense without resolution doesn't make it better. It's like when Supernatural admitted to jumping the shark with Papa Winchester's third son in the title of the episode. That doesn't make it okay!!

At the end when

Well, okay, good. But that still leaves the reader in a state of WTF!? at the end. I also had a problem with Zach being allowed to make a choice for everyone.

Also, of course, I really hated what went down with

Sorry this review isn't as helpful to you if you don't want to read spoilers. It's just one of those times it's impossible to talk around what happens.

There are definitely fun aspects to the story but I didn't enjoy it as much as I did Ready Player One.

Only a few pages into this book and it's not going well already. Our heroine was just perfectly okay with her fiancé having married someone else while she was deployed and breaking up with her after. Yes, it's probably true that in the end this is the best thing as they didn't really belong together, but that doesn't negate the betrayal and unmitigated assholery it takes to do something like that. Yet she was even apologizing for not being enough!!

She did, at least, get pissed off when she found out the woman her fiancé married was her sister. 

But good lord, am I going to have to sit through another bullshit forgiveness storyline here? Probably, because she'll come to terms with it like all the others especially since she wasn't initially pissed off at the fiancé. Siiiiigh. I hate that.

*hopes she'll be pleasantly surprised anyway*