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text 2014-11-04 18:06
Reading progress update: I've listened 681 out of 926 minutes.
The Feminine Mystique (Audible Modern Vanguard) - Betty Friedan,Parker Posey

I was totally on board with Ms. Friedan right up until she got to the chapter about how one of the tragic side effects of the Feminine Mystique is that all of these infantile, frustrated, overbearing housewife mothers can't help but turn their sons into twisted, immature, promiscuous, self-loathing, neurotic homosexuals. Wow! Amazing that Friedan could so clearly skewer Freud's theories about women as a product of his time, culture, and personal biases, and yet she swallows those same flawed Freudian theories about homosexuality wholeheartedly without question.

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text 2014-10-30 14:53
Reading progress update: I've read 3 out of 115 pages.
The War Play Dilemma: What Every Parent And Teacher Needs to Know (Early Childhood Education Series (Teachers College Pr)) (Early Childhood Education (Teacher's College Pr)) - Diane E. Levin,Nancy Carlsson-Paige

When my four-year-old gets frustrated with someone else (his little brother, his babysitter, the mama who is urging him to get dressed when he'd rather play with his firetruck), he's started to say, "Stop, or I'll shoot you!" We're not gun owners, we don't even have a TV, so I can only guess that this is something he picked up at preschool. It makes me deeply uncomfortable, but I also know that every little boy I've ever known will pick up a stick and imagine it's a sword or bazooka, so there's something deeply ingrained with boys and violent play, and I'm hoping this will help me better understand.

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review 2014-02-27 21:55
ARC Review: Raising Boys
Raising Boys, Third Edition: Why Boys Are Different--and How to Help Them Become Happy and Well-Balanced Men - Steve Biddulph

The formatting of the e-book didn't translate well with my kindle -- different text sizes, weird formatting, tables and graphics missing -- so I hope they fix that before publication or else I recommend people get a paper version of this book. As a lesbian mom raising two boys, I'm trying to read up on some of the special issues and challenges I can expect, especially where my kids don't have a daddy. I liked that this book was sensitive to the fact that there are a lot of single moms and other fatherless families out there, so that while the book stressed the importance of bonding with a father figure especially in middle childhood, it had tips for those of us for whom the father figure in question is not going to be the actual father. 


Much of this book wasn't yet applicable to my situation (my boys are still toddlers), but I think I'll invest in a paper copy and refer back to it as my kids grow, because there are some useful tips and information for different ages. 


***ARC provided through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.***

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review 2010-11-26 00:00
The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in a Challenging and Complex World
The Way of Boys: Raising Healthy Boys in a Challenging and Complex World - Anthony Rao,Michelle Seaton Action leads to talk -- try something repetitive like basketball, ping pong, catch. Cooperation -- build something together. Parallel play -- all ways to help boys to talk.Strategies for containing aggressive behavior -- reminders (at eye level, just before), practicing calm (taking a deep breath, a "flower" breath, staying still with a timer), being patient. Time away, rather than time-out. Should be immediate and last until the boy is calm. No lectures, just do it. Ask him to repeat afterward why he was asked to calm down. He has to win -- an age appropriate approach --they do need to develop a sense of mastery and they do have a very strong sense of competition. Over time, when they are able to deal with all of the elements of the games (sitting still, reading, numeracy, manual skills, taking turns), you can start focus more on the rules and fairness. If you let him win when he is very young, you will not ruin him. Model for him how to lose gracefully, acknowledge the feelings of disappointment and loss.He likes playing the bad guy -- he's just working out fears. Rough play: keep it safe; set rules; set a time limit; don't judge it. When he crosses the line: give him the consequence first, then the rule. Tell him what he did wrong. Wait for him to cool down. Before you return him to the game or his toy, tell him why it was taken away. Ask him to tell you what will happen if he violates the rules again. One step forward, two steps back is normal. Boys develop very unevenly. Behavioral adjustment: Stay calm. Start small -- reward for very small steps forward. Don't expect more new behaviors until current behaviors are happening automatically most of the time. Don't punish noncompliance. Say that's okay, you can earn a sticker/reward next time and move on. Stay consistent. Choose the right rewards -- usually new privileges. Keep it challenging -- when he has mastered the first step, move on to the next one. Relate to the teacher. Keep it positive. Be available and flexible. Enlist the teacher's help first. Problems are often situational -- is there something you can change in the environment. Resist the rush to test or evaluate -- give it a little time. Many boys experience developmental setbacks and erratic shifts that can look like disorders. With rare exceptions, almost every boy who shows such quirky behaviors grows up to be just fine. No matter how your son is behaving right now, he's going to be different in 6 months. A behavioral problem nearly always benefits from a behavioral program. Conferences with teachers: listen even if you don't agree. Keep track of what's being said -- bring someone else to listen too if you can. Take notes. Ask for accommodations, but refuse them if they are not enough or not helpful. Don't rush to change schools -- try to work it out if you can. Get outside help and support if you need it.When is a label needed?1. It's serious. It must get in the way of functioning significantly. It's not just being annoying.2. It must persist over time. 3. It must occur across situations.4. It should be reported by more than one trusted observer. Understand the tests. Don't just rely on a checklist. Get a second opinion. Don't rush into medication.
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