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review 2013-12-12 07:36
Leaves me Cold
Cold Magic - Kate Elliott

Here, let me save you some time:


Chapter 1 to 6

Cat misses her dead father, so she reads his expedition journals.  Cat is cold because they can’t afford heat in the big, drafty house.  She is hungry because she missed breakfast.  Cat is cold when she runs to school because she forgot her coat, the one in last season’s style. See Cat’s cousin, Bee, and “best friend” pinch her during lecture. See Bee get Cat into trouble with the school proctor. See Cat risk Big Trouble to help Bee get out of a little scrape. Plus, Cat will miss lunch and she is still hungry. See Bee mock Cat for missing her dead father. See Cat and Bee hide in the library where Bee tells the reader Cat all about her dead parents. See Cat sacrifice herself for Bee.


Chapter 6 to 14


Cat is symbolically married off to an evil ‘cold mage’ as part of a contract.  However, he is very handsome with his cute beard and besides, he’s a very spiffy dresser. Too bad he makes fun of Cat’s clothes! Cat is still hungry, and can’t believe when the mage refuses his fish soup, lamb and chicken dishes, beans, rabbit liver, sweet potato and vegetable stews.  How wasteful when Cat is so hungry! Let’s talk about the food some more. Aw, the mage takes pity on Cat and lets her eat some dinner. The house is under attack! They escape out the window and through the city. Cat is still hungry but now is kind of mad. Their carriage is under attack! The coachman, a spirit in disguise, saves them. The mage makes the carriage pull over at a shrine to do something mysterious. Cat is still cold! The driver gives her his coat. The mage makes fun of her clothes again. They stop at a hotel and Cat bonds with the trolls in the front room while the mage hangs with other old dudes.


Interlude: Carol goes to bed because this awful writing is giving her a headache.



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review 2013-05-14 00:00
The Diviners
The Diviners - Libba Bray

"Ms. Bray, I have an idea for your next book."


"Well, the researcher who worked on [b:The Poisoner's Handbook: Murder and the Birth of Forensic Medicine in Jazz Age New York left some notes lying in the library, and someone I know swiped 'em."

"Perfect! What should we make it about?"

"Hmm, not sure. Let's workshop it."

"Okay. Target audience?"

"Well, you have some cred in Young Adult, and the field is on fire. If we make it about a 17 year-old and her friends, we can draw in the pre-teens and the twenty-somethings, no problem."

"Excellent. We'll need a romance. Women love romance."

"I guess we can do that two-guys-competing for the same woman situation that was so popular in The Hunger Games. If we make it into a series, we can draw out the romantic tension over a couple of books."

"Sounds perfect. Plot?"

"Well, that Harry Potter book was a huge hit and made a ton of dough. Superheros are the rage. What if we say the group of friends has special powers?"

"I don't know, that sounds like a lot of work. Just how special do they have to be?"

"We can just make it mysterious and say they are learning about it, so it doesn't have to be anything really thought out. I can put one of the interns on it for the second book."

"Cool. And the antagonist?"

"Stick with that H.P. thing and say there's this really, really evil guy trying to come back to life, and they are trying to stop him from bringing about the end of the world. That'll probably draw in horror fans too."

"Perfect. Draft it out and let me know when you are done."


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