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text 2017-03-07 06:53
The Worst Werewolf (The Immutable Moon B... The Worst Werewolf (The Immutable Moon Book 1) - Jacqueline Rohrbach
Me to you: So I’ve finished this book and I’m like, how do I review this? Like, seriously, how?! Help. Me.
 
 
Okay. I’m calmer now. The first part I’m down with. Cute but unassuming hot gay nerd who doesn’t know he’s a cutie is seeking online guy who might be okay.gif online dating profileMaybe he won’t be one of those dating horror stories. Maybe he’ll kinda resemble his profile, the rarest of the rare. Garvey turns up and he IS as hot as his profile pic~ so ominous. Tovin should have known it was the Twilight Zone as soon as he met Garvey. But they go to bar trivia where Tovin considers it winning when two hot women are there and the local guys with patchy facial hair are checking them out, which means the guys will BS for weeks how they “scored” with the hot women, as if, and forget about Tovin for a change.
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Me to Tovin:  Hot guy who matches his profile? Hot women who’ll take the heat off you? Gawd, hon. RUN! Too many planets are lining up. Say you’re going to reapply your CoverGirl Lippy and jump out the bathroom window!!
 ,
,
Of course no one listens to me, so Tovin ends up in the woods, and it’s baaaad. He’s set upon by ants and bugs GIF I HATE NATUREand rocks, horrid things nature throws at you. Here’s one more tip from the LeeBeMe handbook~ don’t go into nature. Nothing good EVER comes from that. Three strikes: Profile pic matching and he’s built, women to take the hick’s minds of you, and a guy who wants to fuck in the woods. If he’s a catch he’ll find a room, maybe a bed. I hate to be picky but comfort and no bugs up your anus counts gazillions. Trust me. It gets worse when Garvey tells Tovin that the dogs howling in the background are really werewolves, that he’s a werewolf, that Tovin’s going to be a bloodslave for a werewolf. Da hell you say?! Online dating can be tricky if you’re unprepared. If he’d listened to me he’d have run, not to be a bitch and all, just sayin’.
 
 
Lots of lolz in the beginning but shit gets real after that and this is the part where it gets harder to review. Garvey is doing what he’s doing because he’s seen that his wolves, the lesser kind, are going to be culled by other wolves unless he does something. He doesn’t share this info with everyone, his kidnapping teammates aren’t even in the know. He takes Tovin into the woods to mess him up so that he won’t be wanted to present as a bloodslave to an Alpha guardian wolf named Lavario. Lavario’s part of the Varcolac pack but he isn’t Varcolac. He’s from the Isangelous pack, long story, and the leader of the Varcolac pack hates him. But Eresna, Alpha of the Isangelous pack, has plans of her own that involve Mazgan and Tovin and people I prolly don’t know yet. There are waaay too many sneaky shenanigans for me to cover in my review but trust me when I say it’s tricky and sometimes gruesome and all rather brill.
 
 
TWW is some serious paranormal writing about different werewolves living beside each other and humans. They don’t like each other and they see humans as a resource but resources only stretch so far if you set bloodthirsty wolves and vamps on them. IDK how that will all play out but count me in. Garvey jumps around the edges of Teflondifferent packs because he has contempt for pretty much everyone and that suits certain pack members right now. He’s a Moondog which is a werewolf but not high up the order. He’s also Mr. Teflon, nothing sticks to him because he knows how to push just enough to get a rise and then back off so he doesn’t get killed. He’s also got buckets of street smarts and is useful. He’s outrageously lame and funny unless you’re the butt of his jokes, like Tovin is, then it’s kind of unfunny. Poor Tovin just wanted to be spontaneous and interesting because his on and off again bf has pushed him to that I’ll prove him wrong point. He’s got adventure pamphlets like parasailing and spelunking. I went spelunking 4 weeks ago and if you knew me you’d be laughing for days but I did it. I felt great but this whole book is like spelunking on speed for Tovin.
Me to Tovin: You are so much better than your ex because I’d say Marshall or Mitchell, or whatever his douchey name is, would have pissed his pants but you’re faking it till you make it.Tovin IS adorable, Garvey and I agree about that. I asked last review if I could three way with the mcs, am I too obvious if I ask again? Yes? No? Who cares?
 
 
 
 
Outside of Pat Robertson’s blog, if he has one, this has to be the worst blog in the whole world to review this book on, kinda apropos, because Jay’s a perv and I’m sweet cheeks and between us it seems out of place, but when I don’t have my head stuck in text books I read lots of non romance para and fantasy~ ooo, the truth is out there.  If I tell you it’s good paranormal werewolf GIF WEREWOLF SNARLreading, will you take Cocky Reviews and my word? It has queer characters, always good for us queerlings, it’s a bit intense with complications that make it interesting and stretch the grey matter. Garvey’s sexy stuff but he’s too busy being a brat to Tovin, also with semi world domination vamp plans, to actually do anything really sexy. Lovario’s got the whole wise shtick going on. The book gets harsh too so be prepped for that, there will be blood and cranium contortion. There’s a ghost in a blue dress and a bunch of crazy weird happenings nearer the end, and be scared of twenty somethings with the Dewey Decimal System.  I have a feeling the next book will unlock some powerfully good and bad para juju. I’m hoping maybe Garvey will be a teensy bit busy with his sweet treat too, he’s totally into him. I have this gooey spot for pet names and Garvey calling Tovin Sweet Treat is fab, he’d still be a smartass but the name was so melty on his lips when he said it~ “Sweet treat is adorable. Look at him with his big green eyes and blondish-brown hair. Oats and honey.” And this was a promise, a creepy one but I was clapping like Nicole Kidman at the Oscars~ “We’re going to finish this someday, sweet treat. Unless you die. Try not to die.”
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GIF NICOLE KIDMAN CLAPPING
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For now, Garvey twirled the glasses frames in one paw and did something he rarely did. He thought about consequences. He didn’t want Tovin to die. He liked this dopey kid. It was an odd, unexpected realization. Clueless as Tovin was, there was something sweet about him that Garvey wanted to keep in the world. It tugged at a part of his heart he didn’t know existed.

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Aww, Garvey has a heart, you wouldn’t know it but he does. ^^
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GIF PUPPY ROLLING
 
After the first book in the Immutable Moon series I’m in! This book’s got laughs, it’s got lots of characters I like, there’s some nasty parts because it’s written how werewolves would behave if they were real, and pack means a group and whenever you have a group you have politicking. I’ll also reread it to find new stuff I missed this time so The Worst Werewolf gets an A for Awesome or 5 stars.
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review 2017-02-15 22:32
Worst Journal Ever by Spencer Clark
Worst Journal Ever - Spencer Clark

Reviewed at Book Haunt

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review 2017-02-08 14:26
Forever is the Worst Long Time/Camille Pagán
Forever is the Worst Long Time: A Novel - Camille Pagán

When struggling novelist James Hernandez meets poet Louisa “Lou” Bell, he’s sure he’s just found the love of his life. There’s just one problem: she’s engaged to his oldest friend, Rob. So James toasts their union and swallows his desire.

As the years pass, James’s dreams always seem just out of reach—he can’t finish that novel, can’t mend his relationship with his father, can’t fully commit to a romantic relationship. He just can’t move on. But after betrayal fractures Lou’s once-solid marriage, she turns to James for comfort.

When Lou and James act on their long-standing mutual attraction, the consequences are more heartbreaking—and miraculous—than either of them could have ever anticipated. Then life throws James one more curveball, and he, Rob, and Lou are forced to come to terms with the unexpected ways in which love and loss are intertwined.

 

This book didn't go the way that I expected it to, but instead it was incredibly touching, leaving me in a bundle of emotions and tears.

 

Incredibly well written, this book actually made me go back several times to check that it was indeed a work of fiction and not a memoir. I enjoyed the occasional use of second person, which made me feel involved in the story and gave me another lens through which to read the story.

 

I can't say I was terribly fond of James as a character, but seeing him grow was nonetheless an intriguing experience. The way that he interacted with his dreams was so terribly realistic and very telling of what real people go through, but the way he ultimately chose an unexpected path was really sweet.

 

Lou, also, kind of irked me, but I think that's because of how James portrayed her. I appreciated her reality check when it came to the idea of love and how it lasts, endures, and changes throughout time, but in general James made her seem too perfect for no apparent reasons.

 

The way this dealt with death felt very poignant and realistic--from a scene early in the book to one near the end, I felt like characters dealt with death in a way that I could relate to, and the scenes were touching. James makes a lot of poignant observations about how humans grieve.

 

As long as you don't mind crying, I recommend this book.

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review 2017-02-03 00:57
ARC Review: The Worst Best Man by MJ O'Shea
The Worst Best Man (Dreamspinner Press Book 27) - M.J. O'Shea

In this latest installment of the Dreamspun Desires series, we are introduced to August O'Leary, an American who went to college in the UK, fell deeply in love, got engaged, got dumped, and now, eight years later, works as a high-end event planner in London. He's got great friends, but hasn't allowed anyone to get close to him since his fiance broke off their engagement at the behest of the fiance's class-conscious mother.

You see, in Britain, one mustn't marry someone from the working class when one is filthy rich and part of the lower aristocracy. Apparently.

Since the ex-fiance, Christopher Burke, is the best friend of Libby, the bride-to-be who just hired August to plan her wedding which is the social event of the year, and Libby's fiance Edward is too busy to help with the planning, their paths cross once more.

I really liked that the author turned the usual "wedding planner" trope a bit on its head by not having her character fall for one of the happy couple, but the best friend of the bride, and gave them a strong albeit painful history. It's part second-chance-at-love story, and part tongue-in-cheek at the British social classes.

It's quite obvious from the start that August is still hurt and angry at being so unceremoniously dumped, and Christopher's inability to even apologize doesn't win him any favors either. It's clear that their love still burns brightly, but August doesn't trust Christopher at all, and Christopher has no idea how to win August back.

His persistence however pays off, and he gets another chance with August. Until he .... well, I'll let you experience that for yourself.

I liked August quite a lot, and I thought that he had the required backbone to stand up to Christopher, but also soft enough to allow himself to open up again after a while. I also liked his friends, and how supportive they were of him. August's family, whom we meet when he's back on Boston on vacation, was also supportive and kind.

I didn't like Christopher very much in the beginning, considering the history between him and August, but it was also clear after a while that he truly regretted having succumbed to his family's pressure to give up August, and is hellbent on winning him back, glad to be given another chance. I think that being given insight into Christopher's mind was helpful in turning my opinion of him the further I got into the book.

Of course, this book is OTT more often than not, but that's to be expected from this series, and part of why I love reading these books. The grand gesture, the sweeping romance, the heart-pounding lead-up to the climax - all of it is in here, and I had a blast reading this book.

One big niggle - when August and Will are moving to New York to open the new store, there is no mention of Will needing a visa to work in the US - while August as an American doesn't need this, Will as a Brit certainly does, and this was never mentioned. I cannot ascertain whether the author paid attention to immigration laws or not, or whether I was simply supposed to assume that a visa was obtained, so this bothered me.

Apart from that niggle though, I thought the book was a great way to spend a few hours, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.


** I received a free copy of this book from its publisher. A positive review was not promised in return. **

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text 2017-01-04 21:09
DNF: Moon Chosen
Moon Chosen - P.C. Cast

No stars. Doesn't even deserve 1 star.

 

May be my quickest DNF ever. Barely 3 pages and I loathe this book. Stuck it out to 20 pages, but no more. I hate the characters and the world buildings is nonsense, the dialogue is ludicrous and the plot is awful. Big ass NO WAY am I wasting any more time on this rubbish.

 

 

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