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review 2016-06-04 03:32
American Housewife Review
American Housewife: Stories - Kathleen McInerney,Helen Ellis,Lisa Cordileone,Dorothy Dillingham Blue,Rebecca Lowman

I grab almost every audio available to me and prefer to go in blind when I can. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t and I end up with nightmares (I’m pointing at you, Daddy Love by Joyce Carol Oates). When I started American Housewife I had some vague memory of someone somewhere saying it was a memoir and I started reading it with glee because these people were horrid and I love nothing more than reading about horrible, snooty people doing horrible things to each other (and, if true, all the better!) but alas my brain failed me once again. I soon realized it’s actually a fictional collection of short stories, vignettes and “lessons” – mostly sarcastic lessons on how to be a proper southern lady. Lessons I obviously have no use for! None of them are true stories either. Ah well.

 

I’m not going to rehash all of the stories and such with a plot synopsis because I am lazy and mostly because I did not take notes. So off the top of my head, I’ll tell you a little about the stories that stuck with me long enough to be written down here.

 

“The Wainscotting War” was the first real short story in the collection and I thought it was the best. It should’ve been stuck somewhere in the middle because I kept expecting the rest of the tales to have the same snarky magic and, except for brief glimpses, they didn’t. It’s about two housewives who go to great lengths to out insult the other in an email war over redecorating a hallway. It’s wickedly dark and funny in the evilest of ways and I LOVED it.

 

“The Fitter” is about a woman who is married to the most wanted man in all the land. Wanted by the woman-folk, that is. He can look at a woman’s chest and instantly find her the perfect bra, one able to perk up the saddest pair of droopy breasts without surgery. He’s been able to do this since he was a kid which is kind of creepy, if you ask me, but he’s managed to make quite the living off of his magical skills, yet another reason the ladies are all after him. His current wife, also his assistant in the business, has to fend off the hussies vying for his attention. I felt for her, I truly did. It was a little sad but I’m not going to tell you why (unless you send me some chocolate).

 

“Welcome to Book Club” mostly annoyed me, truth be told. I thought it was trying just a little too hard to be witty and obnoxious and mostly succeeded in just being obnoxious. To be a part of this exclusive “book club” means you must give up your identity and . . . other things. The narration was good but the story didn’t work out for me.

 

“Dead Doormen” was ghostly, morbid and a little ghastly. That I can work with.

 

“Dumpster Diving with the Stars” nearly bored me to death. It was about some ridiculous reality tv show. It was overly long and not at all interesting or witty to me. Not helping matters was the monotonous narrator. I never thought it would end but fortunately it did. Did I mention the stories are read by alternating narrators? That’s a very good thing in this case.

 

“Pageant Protection” is a twisted little story about a woman who makes it her mission to give pageant girls a lifestyle “do-over”.

 

“I Sold My Soul to Tampax” is the last story and I don’t think this is the title but it’ll have to do. My brain has shut down for the day. It’s about a writer who apparently didn’t read the fine print on her contract and faces what is probably every writer’s worst nightmare. It was pretty much all over the place and felt a little rushed and the protagonist seemed like a dimwit for allowing any of this to happen at all.

 

Most of the stories fall into the “entertaining at some point” category with only one that really stood out which is unfortunate seeing as it was the first actual story in the book and set me up to expect the rest to be even better. The others weren’t as nasty as I’d hoped and weren’t really “laugh out loud funny” but maybe my sense of humor has skedaddled off with what’s left of my memory. If you want to read about a bunch of awful ladies that have ugly thoughts, dark edges and haughty ways give it a go. You probably won’t like any of these people but you might like reading about them. If nothing else, I learned that:

 

“Taxidermy is the new decoupage."

 

Who knew? Perhaps I’ll have to take it up in my old age. Looks like it could be useful!

 

 

 

photo taxidermy is handy_zps6dpmsq6d.gif

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text 2016-06-01 15:15
Reading progress update: I've read 30%.
American Housewife: Stories - Kathleen McInerney,Helen Ellis,Lisa Cordileone,Dorothy Dillingham Blue,Rebecca Lowman

There is most definitely something wrong with me because I am finding this book hilarious.

 

 

"My life coach says taxidermy is the new decoupage."

 

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review 2016-05-02 03:57
Love in the Light
Love in the Light (Hearts in Darkness Duet Book 2) - Laura Kaye

I read "Hearts in Darkness" and enjoyed it.  I thought of it many timesa after having read it.  I wasn't sure what to expect with a follow-up.  I did enjoy revisiting Caden and Makenna.  So much of this story was mired in Caden's depression, though.  It wasn't a very happy story.  It did have a happy ending, but I don't feel confident about what will happen the next time Caden has an episode.

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review 2016-01-20 00:00
Love in the Light (Hearts in Darkness Duet Book 2)
Love in the Light (Hearts in Darkness Duet Book 2) - Laura Kaye Book: Love in the Light (Hearts in Darkness #2)
Author: Laura Kaye
Publication Date: 1/12/2016
Reviewed by: Tammy Payne- Book Nook Nuts
My Rating: 5 Stars


REVIEW
Makenna and Caden's story continues and oh, what a story it is. They are still very much dating but Caden is still battling his nightmares or night terrors is what I would call them. Makenna is planning to take Caden to her father’s home for Thanksgiving and it has him having panic attacks but he will work through it because he wants to be there for Makenna. All kinds of things happen while they are there including an Ex of Makenna's. Caden doesn't think he is good enough for her and that maybe just maybe he should walk away. Let me tell you I could have ripped Caden's head off in this story but in the end, he won my heart. What a riveting story. Truly romantic and super hot.

I would suggest reading book 1 prior to reading this book.
[a:Laura Kaye|4805272|Laura Kaye|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1412350405p2/4805272.jpg]
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review 2015-04-07 16:15
Cool to the Touch: A Zombie Love Story by Terry Maggert
Cool to the Touch: A Zombie Love Story - Terry Maggert

Cool to the Touch combines two things that should never, ever go together. Zombies and sex. Yeah, you read that right. Zombie sex. Sex with zombies. Not exactly the stuff of which dreams are made.

“How consuming is love?”

Would you believe me if I told you this is a sensitive and eloquently written tale of love, loss, lust and utter hopelessness? You should because it’s true.

I quite enjoyed it. It’s not all up in your face gross as most of the “monster porn” I’ve read has a tendency to be (not that there's anything wrong with that either!). It’s sexy but not super explicit. It’s .99 cents for 12 pages of terrible beauty and if this author decides to write a full out erotic horror novel I’ll be the first in line to one-click buy it.

Read it if this is your thing. I won’t judge you. Come on. You know you want to. . . Here's a small sample of what's in store. You can blame my GR friend Tressa.

"Things were precarious just then. I could feel the aftershocks of her own pleasure clenching me at the root, as if every drop of me might bring her back from the edge of depravity that she stood upon."

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