Chock Full of Pop-Culture-y Goodness
Oh Wow, That Title Is a Mouthful
From the author of Thin Is the New Happy comes a hilarious memoir about embracing your Inner Hater. “The hate in you has got to come out.” The day her doctor gave her this advice, Valerie Frankel realized the biggest source of pressure in her life was maintaining an unflappable easygoing persona. So she decides to go on a mission of emotional honesty, vowing to let herself feel and express all the toxic emotions she’d long suppressed or denied: jealousy, rage, greed, envy, impatience, regret. She reveals her personal History of Hate, from mean girls in junior high to selfish boyfriends in her twenties and old professional rivals. Hate stomps through her life, too, with snobby neighbors, rude cell phone talkers, scary doctors, and helicopter moms. Regarding her husband, she asks, “How Do I Hate You? Let Me Count The Ways.” (FYI: There are three.) Can it be that toxic emotions are actually good for you? That the positive thinkers, aka The Secret crowd, have it backward? It’s Hard Not To Hate You explores the concept that there are no wrong emotions—only wrong ways of dealing with them.
Amazon.com
I was drawn to this book largely because of the snarky title, not even connecting that it was written by the same woman who wrote I Take This Man (I bought these books on separate occasions). I also didn't realize that it was a memoir when I first bought it. The cover pictured above is different than the copy I have, but both covers seem to scream YA funny novel to me. But nope, this is author Frankel's memoir on her struggles with weight and overall body image as well as her battle with rampant pessimism and anger management issues. She's not physically violent with people, but she does seem to seethe a lot. While not the book I thought I was getting, I figured what the heck, let's check it out anyway. I'm always curious on the back stories of writers.
Ohhh boy, I read a fair number of memoirs these days and this is perhaps one of the least satisfying I've experienced this year. Fiction or non-fiction, I was prepared to get some good laughs and life lessons tossed my way. Instead I just ended up, in turn, pitying or being turned off by Frankel as a person. She talks about diagnosing herself "after seeing so many episodes of House". There are lengthy passages about how Frankel feels called to write but can't understand why her books consistently tend to rank at three stars or under, noting "A large number of my readers, alas, were not as tickled by my novels as I was." She even comments on one of her best friends -- a best friend! -- telling her she's delusional, "like how you think your novels are the funniest books published in the last 100 years." Is it bad that I was nodding along with the friend's comment? Frankel's style of humor, at least from the novel I read as well as what she writes here, strikes me as the forced, trying-too-hard variety. I love a well-crafted pun but I'm starting to think it's an under-appreciated art form. She also makes the joke "I could see why Michael Jackson loved Propofol" (after being prescribed it herself during a hospital visit) which I found to be in poor taste.
Frankel also seems to like to veer into TMI territory a good bit. The first chapter is rife with descriptions of bodily fluids, pubic hair and a play by play of her colonoscopy and she doesn't let up a whole lot for the rest of the book.
The constant woe-is-me vein running throughout the bad jokes and crass stories just wore me out. Her novels are fair (but largely forgettable) puff pieces for me but this memoir was a total dud.
Here comes the bride . . . there goes the groom.
Penny Bracket waited two years to marry dream man Bram Shiraz. Then on the morning of the Big Day, while she's trying on her veil, Penny receives the worst two-line letter of her life: "Penny, I can't go through with it. Sorry, Bram."
Penny's hurt and upset. But Esther, Penny's divorced mom, wants Bram's head on a platter. So Mom ambushes the cold-footed coward before he hot-foots it out of town, bonks him on the head with a champagne bottle, and spirits him away to a hidden room in her gargantuan mansion in Short Hares, New Jersey. Esther doesn't want much. All Bram has to do is write personal, heartfelt apologies to each of the two hundred disappointed wedding guests . . . and eat every mouthful of the very expensive gourmet wedding feast that has gone to waste. Then he'll be free to leave.
Amazon.com
It's driving me crazy.... I swear I saw a movie a few years ago that had a very similar premise to this book... but for the life of me I cannot remember. I just remember something about a woman being dumped, then she later kidnaps her boyfriend / husband .. whatever he was to her... I can't remember exactly, but in the movie I think she handcuffed him to the toilet and forced him to explain why precisely he didn't want to be with her. She ends up keeping him there for days... Dang it, what was that movie?! If you have an idea, comment below!
But anyway, this story opens on the wedding day of Jersey girl Penny, 23. Moments before she's supposed to take her first steps toward the altar, one of her fiancee's groomsmen comes in with a note from Bram, the groom, that basically just says Can't do it, sorry. Penny goes into such a state of shock that all she can do is comment on the quality of the stationery. Mother of the bride doesn't take the news so lightly. She thinks of the two years her daughter has spent with this man, the $75,000 tab wracked up to pull off this dream day and answers with a momma bear awww helll nah! Penny's mother kidnaps Bram before he's able to leave town, locks him up in the former nursery room of her mansion, and explains to him that since she now has to eat the cost of the wedding, he has to eat all 200 servings of the catered food as well as write out apology / thank you for your gift cards. She also wants answers for his actions. Penny's mom, through a number of comedic twists, is able to keep Bram's whereabouts secret from Penny, who comes to stay at her mom's mansion for a time to lick her emotional wounds.
The story had a cute, humorous concept and it started out well, but I think after awhile the humor got a little stale for me. While there were scenes that did have me quietly chuckling (and I appreciate the Spinal Tap reference in Chapter 3), I felt some of the jokes ran a little long, were hammered a little too heavily, and some of the puns had me cringing.
Then there was Bram. I had mixed feelings about him. At first I was disturbed at his sexualization of Disney's Cinderella, leaving part of me to scream what a creeper! But then later he makes himself seem like a decent guy and when he explains why he did what he did, I was thinking "that kinda makes sense." Not saying the behavior itself wasn't a jerk maneuver, but I could see his logic and felt like given his explanation, deserved a little more slack than he got. Also -- to me anyway -- it seemed like not all that much of the story was spent on Bram in his hostage situation. It felt more like the reader just gets to pop in on him from time to time. Maybe that was just to drag out the story length, but to me it felt odd.
This story is heavily laced with profanity and there are quite a few sexual descriptions / conversations among the main characters. Sex and profanity don't typically bother me unless it's the type that offers nothing to the story and only seems to be there for edge / shock factor. My issue with this story is some of the descriptions were not so much sexy but just bordered on ick. I did have a laugh at the girl getting all excited about throwing down in the back of a town car. If a town car is the height of your fantasies... you might want to check your pulse lol.
I was kinda liking the conversation Bram & Penny get to have near the end but dang, that ending. WEEAAAKK. Just silly.
This book surprised me. It was a gift and from the cover I was expecting a light chick-lit book. Instead, I got a deeply, gently woven story of four very different women and their families. It was very satisfying. You need not be a poker player to enjoy this book (I'm not). Strong women making difficult decisions and staying true to themselves to the end. And speaking of the end, I did not want it to end, but the ending made sense and was done in a nice way to bring all the stories back together.
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