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review 2015-11-13 01:14
Liked the ideas, liked the execution, but where was the editing?
A Man Like Me: A Science Fiction Short Story - Austin Grisham

So, good idea, good general execution.   Bad editing. 


So let's get the good out of the way: it was a thoughtful story with a twist at the end that I simply did not see.   That author played this straight throughout, so it was a pretty big shock.   The narrative ploys were all incredibly well done. 


And then there was the grammar. 


"He had not seen much of anything useful than some twisted metal when he noticed a large silver crate, clearly battered by the elements, but nonetheless still intact."


Missing word. 


"These infernal brains of mine, why won't it let me know my past?"


Brain/it and brains/them.   But there is a definite issue here. 


"'Sort of like the other day when you thought those shadows and trees was a monster?'"


Were, not was.   There's a repeated pattern here, where the tenses and numbers of things don't match up. 




Choose where the period goes.   Use one per sentence, please. 


And I'm kinda freaked out about this review.   He's asking for Amazon reviews, but says this: 


"Your feedback is very important to me; I read every review."



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review 2014-08-24 14:01
Fairly good sci-fi story...
Counter Program: (A Science Fiction Short Story) - Chad Corman

It was mostly the mechanics of the writing that tripped me up; this felt like an amateur attempt, and as that?   It was decent.   The writing itself was legible, and grammar fine enough, but the dialogue felt stilted and there was more telling than there should have been. 


The idea behind it, though?  I did like how the author played with the server-robots, and how they couldn't lie to humans, and how they struggled with that.   How they struggled with if they were alive, or simply functioning.   There were a lot of really heavy ideas that are really ripe for further exploration here.   But this is one of the problems.   In a twenty page short story?   They weren't fully explored, especially given the writing level.   


Still, this is exciting.   I feel confident that this author will become more adept at dialogue, and showing.   If that's the case, then this story shows a lot of promise, and what he might write in the future?   Exciting.   Worth the read to say, 'ah, I read it back when...'

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review 2014-01-26 19:21
Robot Pony
Robot Pony (A short science fiction story) - Madeline Claire Franklin

*wipes a tear away*


The highest compliment I can give Madeline Claire Franklin's Robot Pony is that I wanted so much more! Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely perfect as a short story. In fact, I'm almost certain that anything else would ruin the magic of it. Still, I can't let it go. It hit me in just the right spot.


A human girl. A robot pony who is meant to be nothing but a mere toy. The utterly beautiful friendship that builds between them. I loved it. Loved it all. I picked this up to take a break between longer books, and found myself wishing for more.


What else can I say without ruining this for you? Read this. Thank you to the wonderful people who suggested it to me in the first place!

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review 2014-01-23 08:25
Robot Pony - Madeline Claire Franklin
Robot Pony (A short science fiction story) - Madeline Claire Franklin

What A Wonderful Short Story!!!



I saw All Hail Grimlock's review for this one and I thought it looked like a neat story so I went and checked it out and it was free on Amazon so I grabbed it.  It's a short story, a very short story.  The story itself only goes to about the mid 30% on my kindle and only took a few minutes to read.  At first I was thinking it was a very simple story that was easy to read no matter the age group.  I was right about it being easy to read but I was so very wrong about it being simple.  A simple story couldn't make you feel this way in only a few pages.  A simple story could not make you care about characters so quickly and a simple story could never pull at your heart in such a way.  The message is as universal as it is timeless and yes it can be understood by nearly any age group but simple this story was not.  Calling it simple would be wrong unless you want to say it was simply beautiful in which case you'd be right. 



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review 2014-01-23 01:22
Reading progress update: I've read 100%.
Robot Pony (A short science fiction story) - Madeline Claire Franklin

So heartbreaking!   


This is the story of a family, a father, a mother, and two girls.   Amanda wants a pony, and throws a shitfit when she gets a robot pony.   Jenn, her sister, takes to the pony, calling it Po, riding with it, and treating it more kindly than society says she has any reason to.   To the point of sleeping with it, brushing it, not allowing it to stay out in the cold. 


Po is her friend, and she Po's.   


The problem occurs when the ponies show erratic behavior, throwing their owners, and recall is sent out.   Her father, and mother, must send back the pony.   


And this is the payoff.   This has me blubbering.   Beautiful.   Just absolutely gorgeous, and life affirming.    Highly recommended.   It's incredibly short, but well worth the read. 


Reading Challenge: 24/500

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