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text 2021-05-31 07:10
5 Tips to Keep in Mind When Choosing a Sexual Therapist

 

Couples and individuals alike seek the aid of a sexual therapist for different purposes. Women and men alike encounter different forms of sexual dysfunction and it is by seeing a sex therapist that they can largely positively affect them. This kind of therapy has been proven to be so good not just for such problems, but also for addressing bored and attraction-related issues. 

More and more people are recognising the benefits of working with experts on this matter. Thus, finding the right person for the task is the way to go. With such an intimate topic, you need to be able to work with a person you are most comfortable with and who has the required expertise to help you out. 

  • Consider your reasons for needing sex therapy – there is a lot that goes into the field of sex therapy. It encompasses issues from desire, to physical problems that you might be experiencing. A good sex therapist should have a good clinical experience, but it doesn’t hurt for you to ask if they have dealt with people with similar issues. That is why it is so important for you to decide on the exact issues you want such therapy to address. So ask yourself what you want to achieve and what sort of therapy you want to accept. Bear in mind that it is very likely you will get certain homework exercises, such as communication, or reading educational materials. You have to be ready to discuss your most intimate topics with a therapist, as well as your partner. 

  • Consider the experience and credentials of the therapist – this was touched upon the previous point, but it is important enough that it needs to be mentioned separately. For your therapist to be a reliable source of help, they should an MD, or PhD and then have done a sufficient number of hours in sexuality training. After all, you want the therapist to be able to consider all of the problems that might be present with their client. There are different dimensions the sexual therapist needs to be able to view the issues from – a psychological one, a physiological, a relational one and sometimes even a cultural one. 

  • Consider several options – there are many ways in which you can find a sex therapist. You can check out professional organisations, or perhaps seek referrals from your doctor and friends. Many online resources allow you to browse a database and pick from there. Whatever your sources of finding a therapist are, it is best not to just go with the first option presented. Instead, you should see 2-3 therapists and do an initial consultation with them. Since every person’s issues are highly individual, it may take more than one therapist to know you have finally clicked well and can proceed with the therapy. 

  • Ask about their treatment plan – therapy is usually a dynamic process, which changes as you proceed forward. However, it is important to ask your therapist what their therapy plan is for you and how it is going to go. In part, this has a lot to do with the fact that you will be able to better budget for therapy and monitor your progress. 

  • Check-in with yourself as the therapy goes on – sexual problems are largely intimate in nature. It will only get more comfortable as you progress the treatment. If you don’t feel comfortable, then perhaps your therapist is not the best fit for you and you should seek another expert on the matter. 

All of these tips should ensure that you make the most of your work with a sexual therapist and overall manage to benefit from them in resolving your problems. 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

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text 2021-03-01 06:04
4 Things Sex Therapists Wish Every Parent Knew

 

Sex therapists often need to provide advice for parents, who struggle with their sex life. Whether it is because of a new-born child, or perhaps a toddler that cannot stop crying at night, parenthood brings changes to a couple’s sex dynamics and not always for the better. To those who feel their sex lives are flatlining, sex therapists have a few useful recommendations: 

  • One partner is exhausted and achieving a sexy frame of mind is impossible – parents of small children and babies often experience such challenges. When one parent feels so worn out, their need for sleep and rest outranks the need for sex. The idea is that the person should not feel bad for desiring the former more than the latter. When parents are doing their thing – dealing with children, managing the new tasks, etc., it can be hard to switch to an erotic state. It is just hard to enjoy sex in such a situation. What makes a big difference then is a partner’s ability to empathise and help out the other person. If one of the partners feels that the other is not sharing the burden, it can lead to resentment and push them apart. This is a solvable riddle, which both partners can work on, possibly with the help of a sex therapist. 

  • Parenthood changes the human body – it is completely natural to feel less comfortable about your body after having a baby. Women are especially vulnerable to feeling depressed over the extra weight they put on. This can often lead to both parents feeling stuck. Communication is key, and assumptions are a killer. The idea is that parents should communicate their newfound feelings of discomfort and work around them. Yes, there are a lot of insecurities parents develop after having a baby. But with some proper work, both parents can view each other the same way they did before having a child. 

  • Don’t be so sure you know everything sex-related about your partner – everyone learns a lot about sex throughout their life – from their family and early relationships. This forms many expectations on a subconscious level, which we then bring into our relationships and marriages. And even if you think you know your partner, keep in mind no attitude towards sex is fixed. It can easily change, most notably after having a child. That is when one partner can reveal sex is much less of a priority for them, compared to the other person. The goal should always be to dig deeper into the beliefs your partner holds about sex, and show understanding. Only then will you be able to build a more satisfying sex life together, even after having a child. 

  • Two people can't desire the same amount of sex all the time – one of the reasons why people seek the aid of a sex therapist is discrepancies in desire. Sometimes one partner might not desire to engage in sexual acts, and only feel pressured into doing them. But this makes it feel more like an obligation, which will sooner or later backfire. Parents often fall into the trap of believing there is a certain amount of sex that they should have. The reality is that more often than not, there will be some sex desire discrepancies. At those times, it is important to remember that instead of troubling over how often partners should have sex, they should focus on enjoying the sex that they have. That way they will achieve the perfect balance. 

These are just a few of the most common issues that sex therapists deal with in regards to parents. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

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text 2020-12-03 02:35
6 Complaints You Can Freely Share with a Sex Therapist

 

Seeing a sex therapist is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, more and more people are resorting to the services of one such, as they understand the benefits of working on their issues with someone has the knowledge and can provide the right answers. 

If you have never before considered sex therapy, perhaps it will be educational to find out more about what problems it can help with. Below are some of the major complaints that sex therapists hear from their clients: 

  • Inability to reach an orgasm – this problem is most common to women who report not being able to reach a climax the real way during intercourse. One thing that sex therapist know well to advise the men of these women is that they have to focus more on the clitoris, instead of the vagina. It is important to try out positions that enable better G-spot-penile contact, as that is often enough to fix the problem. 

  • Mismatched sexual desire in partners – when both partners have the so-called desire discrepancy, i.e. one partner wanting more sex than the other, things can quickly escalate in the relationship. In this case, the therapist may work with both partners to enable them to find the kind of sex that brings the right amount of excitement for both of them. In other cases, the expert may in fact reveal another problem that is at the root of this issue. Talking about these bothersome topics usually brings both partners together and makes them more inclined to resolve their differences. 

  • One partner wants to spice up the sex life – when a couple is in a committed relationship, their desires in the bedroom may evolve and change. Partners feel more comfortable with each other and may have a desire for novelty. If the other partner is not interested, it can spell trouble. Working with a sex therapist could allow the couples to see how open each of them is to compromise. Also, the therapist can find out whether there are any underlying tensions the couple is not discussing, or not even aware of, that may be leading to such an issue. 

  • Performance issues – men often experience performance problems, which are usually in the form of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. They could lead to performance anxiety, which in turn can make them avoid intimacy and sex. The common therapy includes a focus on one’s own body and pleasure, rather than their partner, meaning that will worry less about what the other thinks of them. 

  • The need to feel more emotionally connected – a lot of people report the problem of not having any passion for sex and they want to change this. It usually happens to those who are past the period of their life where they are most interested in hook ups, and instead, want a committed relationship. The real problem is being able to successfully integrate love and sex, which is exactly what a sex therapist can help. 

  • Stuck in a sexless marriage – if a couple has found itself in a rut, sex is one of the first things that suffers. Work distractions, children care and other duties could take away much of their energy and free time. A sex therapist can initiate a talk between the partners, to have them explore the problem from a different perspective and find possible resolutions. 

These are all essential problems that both couples and individuals often discuss with a sex therapist. If you find yourself encountering any of them, don’t hesitate to contact an expert. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

 

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text 2020-06-24 06:25
Get Professional Relationship Therapy in London

Are you finding it hard to stay in the relationship lately? Are things not working out in your bond? Don’t let these things ruin your partnership. We offer professional relationship therapy and counselling in London to help make things work again. Contact us today to know more about relationship therapy.

Source: gettingtheloveyouwant.co.uk
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text 2019-11-28 02:40
5 Signs it is Time to See a Psychosexual Therapist

 

How long has it been since you have had satisfying sex with your partner? For those lucky enough to experience great emotional and physical connection with their partner, the answer will likely be ‘just recently’. But for many people out there, there is a notable decline in the sexual connection with their partner, and there are problems that manifest themselves in various forms. 

 

If you fall into the latter category, you will want to consider sex therapy services. According to experts, this is a good way to overcome many of the issues that plague intimacy. If you are not quite sure whether such services are right for you, there are a few notable signs to look out for: 

 

1. You have suddenly lost your libido

 

There is a notable difference between ‘not feeling in the mood for sex’ and sudden loss of libido. In the former case, you may feel tired or distracted and not feel like doing bedroom action for a night or two. In the latter case, the problem comes with a complete disinterest in sex. If you notice a sudden change in your desires about sex, and the change lasts long, it may be a problem you need to look into.

 

2. All you can think about is sex

 

In contrast with the first problem, if you find yourself thinking about sex a lot, this too may be a cause of concern. Sex is good, so why wouldn’t you dream and fantasise about it? As it turns out, if your sexual desire has suddenly spiked, it may cause you to concentrate too much on it, to the point where it gets in the way of some daily activities. Sex may become not an enjoyable act, but a preoccupation, which requires help to overcome. 

 

3. Reaching orgasm has become a problem

 

Reaching orgasm indeed requires a different approach for everyone; for some, it comes easy, for others, it takes longer and is much more difficult. It is okay to be in either camp, but there might be a problem if you have changed sides all of a sudden. If you find yourself unable to reach an orgasm, even though you try to make your sex life exciting, there might be a new mental problem that a psychosexual therapist can help with. There is another kind of problem in regards to orgasm, in the form of feeling pressured about it. If you feel like reaching/making your partner reach orgasm is a requirement, otherwise, you have failed, there is a certain pressure, which could create problems in your love life. 

 

4. Sexual trauma has manifested itself

 

Sexual trauma can negatively affect your love life. And the effect doesn’t even always occur instantly, but years later. The affected may experience a wide range of problems, from avoiding sex and feeling great stress about it, to more severe cases of avoiding connection altogether. One of the best ways to combat this is to speak to a therapist. 

 

5. You are at an impasse with your partner

 

Sometimes you can trace the issues to your relationship, not yourself alone. Any imbalances there will affect your sex life negatively. One of the most common reasons for this is varying levels of libido between both partners. A sex therapist who focuses on work with couples may be the best option to resolve such issues and restore balance in the relationship, essentially solving the sexual difficulties the couple encounters. 

 

If you feel like some of these signs are true for you, then seeing a sex therapist presents a great way to solve the present problems and give your sex life a much-needed boost. 

 

© Zoe Clews & Associates

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