I was born in Ohio, the heart of it all! Now I live in New York City and I'm loving every minute of it. Except for the minutes I spend in crippling poverty and debilitating stress.I like writing about things that make me laugh, such as human poop, Scientology, and getting drunk. In my daily life I enjoy snacking, eavesdropping, and frequent bathroom breaks. I hate to cook and I can't stand politics. I feel completely neutral about nature, American Idol, and small children.I have a boyfriend who I don't live with, lots of gay friends, and an imaginary dog named Pacey Witter. (Some days Pacey is a wiener dog, other days he's a pug. Depends on my mood!)I write a blog called Panty Lines that has no cohesive theme whatsoever.Thank you for visiting my page!