As the saying goes, “when a cow has the urge to shop there is little the police can do about it”. Especially this particular cow, looking so innocent in the doorway with its piercing red eyes peering from under its hat, looking as if butter wouldn’t melt.

Meet the greatest threat to the planet’s environment. No it’s not parked in the car park or flying overhead. She’s standing over there, just next to the hedge minding her own business, chewing the cud. But in a moment she will deliver a sound that will destroy the environment as we know it. Scientists are agreed; it’s unanimous, the reports are in, the conferences have been held. The greatest source of the greenhouse gas is the humble cow, or more explicitly the methane she, to put it delicately, releases.

Luckily, two brave researchers, Phil Pearson and Steve Bell, are onto the case and have developed a feed that dramatically reduces the methane emitted from the cows. We’re all saved, we can rest more easily. Trouble is, Phil and Steve are not exactly sure how it works, or even where the methane now goes. And now there has been a disturbance in one of the fields with the experimental cows.

Cowering behind a plant pot, Phil and Steve are still trying to work out exactly how they reached this point. After all, they were only trying to do their bit for the environment, save the planet, they were only following orders.
The massed ranks of the police, army and the various groups of protestors provide a backdrop to the unfolding drama as it heads towards its dramatic climax.

How could it all have gone so wrong?

A humorous short novel with a serving of satire.