A wife isn’t supposed to complain about her cold-fish husband according to etiquette, but like her mother and women generations before her, she's a low self-esteem, low confidence woman who can’t take care of herself married to a man who can’t take care of a wife.

He’s a commanding, bullying, whining and volcanic with low serotonin levels, high narcissism and worry about self image, and she's financially dependent upon him in her old age and nearly penniless compared to most other women with graduate school liberal arts educations.

She's a shy, frightened, old, and spent, but she like the free rent, the backyard, and her doggies who do show me affection by wagging their tails when she gives them their food and a gentle touch. So she isn't plan to budge unless she's thrown to the curb. Then she will be a homeless old woman, she thinks, with on and off agoraphobia and panic disorder.

My husbands became abusive dads to her, just like her own dad, but since her present husband abuses her less than the first husband did, she'll stay as long as there’s money to pay the taxes on the house and keep food in the fridge.

She loves reading romance and writing romance novels. How do you write about a world of romance, of push and pull, and happily ever after when romance just isn't in the home, not in the way she writes about it with flowers and travel, honeymoons and weddings, both of which she's never had, at least not without being gaslighted, abused, fracked, cracked, drilled and financially milled while writing of love everlasting. Farblundget means bewildered, confused, sometimes by unpredictability and/ or too many surprises.