Hal Bodner is the author of the best selling gay vampire novel, Bite Club. He tells people he was born in East Philadelphia because so few people know where Cherry Hill, New Jersey is located. The first person he saw in his life was C. Everet Coop, future US Surgeon General, who delivered him. Thus, Hal was ironically destined to become a heavy smoker. He moved to West Hollywood in the 1980s and has rarely left the city limits during the past twenty years. Hal is so WeHo-centric that he cannot find his way around Beverly Hills, the next town over. Hal has been an entertainment lawyer, a scheduler for a 976 sex telephone line, a theater reviewer and the personal assistant to a television star. For awhile, he owned Heavy Petting, a pet boutique where all the movie stars shopped for their Pomeranians. Currently, he owns an exotic bird shop. He has never been a waiter. He lives with assorted dogs, and birds, the most notable of which is an eighty year old irritable, flesh-eating military macaw named after his icon - Tallulah. He often quips he is a slave to fur and feathers and regrets only that he isn't referring to mink and marabou. He does not have cats because he tends to sneeze on them. Rapidly approaching middle-age (assuming that more than a few hundred year old people are still around), he remembers Nixon. He got "married" very late in life to an incredible man. Sadly, after five amazing, if turbulent, years he was widowed and can sometimes be found sunbathing at his husband's grave while trying to avoid cemetery caretakers screaming at him to put his shirt back on. Hal recently took a crack at writing erotic paranormal romance -- which he refers to as "supernatural smut" -- with "In Flesh and Stone" and "For Love of the Dead". While he enjoyed writing them immensely, he has resolved to return to his comedic roots with additional "Chris and Troy" novels and the adventures of the reluctant super hero, the Whirlwind. He blushes to admit he is currently romantically involved with a man roughly half his age. As a result, he has recently discovered that the use of hair dye is evidently not an adequate replacement for Viagra.