With her usual humor and honesty, Susie recalls a 1950s childhood in post-war London's every shade of grey which contrasts vividly with the splendours of Africa as, with her glamorous mother and father, Susie boards a ship bound for exotic, technicolor Kenya.

Kenya was in its final decade as a colony, peopled with larger-than-life characters who had helped to forge its identity. There, in this "Out Of Africa" Karen Blixen setting, with the threats of the Mau Mau uprising ever-present, Susie's life disintegrates at break-neck speed into a web of jealousy, rejection and casual cruelty. Each time it seems things cannot get any worse, they do as Susie lifts the lid on her own, often shocking, behavior in her quest to protect herself and those she loves. A seeringly honest and touching autobiography.

Rebellious, lonely and self-destructive, it is a small grey pony named Cinderella who saves Susie from herself and brings her the love she craves.

Readers will shed a tear at her losses and laugh at her predicaments. This book gives a moving and often shocking insight in to the earlier life of the bestselling French travel writer.

"A dysfuctional families true story that had me shedding real tears in some places and laughing out loud in other places as I read. A marvellous book."

“What a story! Written in Susie’s extremely honest way, but unlike her other books, in this one, we learn of her childhood in England and Kenya, her life choices and the decisions she has had to make.”

“Susie is not afraid to put into words her feelings of insecurity as a young girl, evoking compassion for the trials she endured.”

“I’m sure autobiographies can be a form of therapy but this one must have been the most painful book to write. I read it in one session. There is humour and there is humanity.”

“At one point I was almost ready to shout at the book: No, no don’t do it!
The whole story is a great tug on the heart strings. I couldn’t put the book down and have every intention of reading it again.”

More praise for Susie Kelly:

'There are a handful of authors who will achieve that elusive trick of making you laugh out loud. For me it's James Herriot, Bill Bryson & Susie Kelly.' French Entree Magazine June 2013

"What a great sense of humor Susie has, it makes her writing so endearing."

"Reading her books is like listening to relaxing music."

"This is a book I could read again and again."

"Absolutely brilliant, made me laugh - in fact snort out loud - and then cry.."

"Wonderful! Am now going to buy another of Susie's books without further delay!"

"I read this book in March 2005 and could read it time and time again as I could with all of Susie Kelly's books. She is an inspiration."

I Wish I Could Say I Was Sorry... took 10 years to write:

“Over the last few months I have written late into the night, when I could be alone and cry unseen. I’ve shed more tears than a human body could feasibly produce, and I’ve eaten my way through endless plates of comfort food. Finally I’m happy with what I have written, satisfied that it is honest and sincere and as good as I can make it.” Susie Kelly

If you enjoyed My Animals & Other Family by Clare Balding or A Child Called It: One Child's Courage To Survive by Dave Pelzer, you will love this childhood memoir that is shocking but full of gentle warmth and humor.