Looking up from his post-school snack, yesterday afternoon, Two of Two broke a long silence with the words: ‘If one of your family dies, it’s wrong to put them in the garbage.’
You know, you can’t fault him. It’s wrong to put one of your family in the garbage under any circumstances, dead or alive. No matter how much you might feel like doing it. It’s good to know that the school are teaching them the core principles of body disposal.
What the boy really needs to learn at school, since he steadfastly refuses to do so at home, is a list of things not to swallow. Somewhere on the list, albeit not at the top, would be ‘small magnetic ball.’ A couple of weeks ago he was playing with such an item, when he suddenly stared at his mother with a vaguely concerned look on his chops.
‘Did you swallow that?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘it’s stuck in my throat.’
OK, no need to panic. The very fact of being able to utter the words ‘it’s stuck in my throat’, is a bit like being able to say, ‘I’m dead, take me to the garbage...’

This concluding part of Douglas Lindsay's Blog Trilogy contains over thirty blogs from the time when his children were young and used to do the kinds of things on which one can look back and laugh, even if it is from within the confines of a straitjacket. If you're interested in learning valuable parenting lessons, then this probably isn't the right book.
Following on from FOR THE MOST PART UNCONTAMINATED, and THERE ARE ALWAYS SIDE EFFECTS, Kids, And Why You Shouldn't Eat More Than One For Breakfast is the must-read parental memoir from the writer the critics call, "that guy who wrote the thing."