If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you know all too well the difficulties that you already face. Communication is difficult and strained. You are criticized a lot for no reason. Your self-esteem may be suffering because your mate isn’t able to meet all of your needs in the relationship consistently. With an epidemic of 1 in 4 people having narcissism, odds are pretty good that if you went to find another partner, they would have narcissistic traits, too.
So, you work towards the relationship with the narcissist, ever growing and changing like the rest of us. But there is something more beneath the surface of your narcissist. He tells you that he loves you, and he might jump through hoops to show you this. However, other girls are constantly turning his head. He practically gets whiplash trying to climb over you to look at them.
Your narcissist might have a great addiction to women. He might have a porn collection the size of Alaska. He might talk to other girls or fantasize over other girls while he is sleeping at night. Me may be ducking out and texting other girls. Or, it may be just that he has stopped or slowed his frequency of sex with you. He used to be a stallion in the bedroom, but lately he falls asleep snuggling with the television remote. You always hear about the women ‘having a headache’ when it comes to sex. But it seems as if your man is always the one turning you down for it.
You want to feel needed and loved, but you don’t know why he is treating you this way. He used to be romantic, maybe even sending flowers and staying up talking to you on the phone all night long. Now you can’t seem to drag his attention away from other things. Is it something you did? Is it something you said? Are you not sexy, funny, witty or complicated enough to keep his interest?
You start to doubt yourself, as if this is your fault. Since he is a narcissist, he would lead you to believe that it is your fault. Maybe he even calls you fat or ugly to save his own frail ego. Narcissists don’t have intuition inside themselves the way that you might. He doesn’t know what’s wrong, either. But he doesn’t want to look stupid in front of you. So instead of him looking stupid, he will simply direct the blame for the failing sex life onto you. He will say that it is because you don’t do things that he wants, or because you fall asleep at night, or because you don’t talk to him a certain way, or rub his back.
The truth of the matter is much more complicated than even he can grasp. And, believe me, he won’t seek to find the answers.

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