Narcissistic abusers… They manipulate. They lie. They cheat. They pick fights. They gaslight to make their partners feel as though they are losing their minds. They compartmentalize their lives so that they can keep their stories and their characters straight. They seem to become whomever the situation calls for. They seem to do it with ease and a lack of conscience.
Many of my readers email me with their stories – I hear the same kinds of stories time and time again. They wonder if they are the ones who are ‘abusive’ because their partner is calling them so… They wonder if they are going ‘crazy’ because their partner likes to throw those words in their face, too. The narcissist talks their partner around in circles until she is unaware of what reality and truth is anymore. He isolates her and takes away all of her freedoms until she has very few left.
When a person’s life is filled with negativity, craziness, chaos and confusion, it is no wonder that a victim of a narcissist has no idea who is right and who is wrong anymore. The narcissist justifies all of his behavior, and he puts all of the blame of the chaotic relationship onto his partner. He projects all of his negative feelings onto her, and then he goes about his day with a smile. He has gained or retained control of his world, and so he is happy again with his existence as a narcissist. This is the world that he lives in.
Outsiders start to wonder whether the person who is complaining of the narcissist is actually the crazy one. She starts to lose her grip all the while that the narcissist is telling his friends, his family and her family information that is conflicting with her stories. All the while he does it with a smile, and she is left even more isolated and alone. Other people cannot see past the charm that he won her over with. And how could they when their partners can’t even decipher the narcissist’s lies from the truth.

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