THIS TIME THE VAMPIRE PICKED THE WRONG VICTIM.    "Vampires are assholes. They're not sparkly, reticent killers yearning for true love. They aren't gothic romantics who read poetry. They aren't even mysterious Romanians who turn into bats and terrorize the countryside. Really, they're just douche bags." - Room ServiceThus begins "Room Service," a dark comedy about a loser named Robbie who lives with his mom and dates a stripper. One night his girlfriend does a "private" with a suspiciously pasty customer and is never heard from again. As soon as Robbie figures out his girl was served up as a vampire Slurpee, he's out to exact revenge. Not that he has any clue how do it. But when you have nothing to lose and a bloodsucking freak to get even with, you don't mind improvising. This edition also features "Take Out Meals" the brand-new follow up short story that picks up exactly where the first one left off.  ***Room Service is a short story and first appeared in Women and Other Monsters, available for $2.99 on Kindle and free on Amazon Prime.Take Out Meals appears in Overdogs, also available for $2.99 on Kindle.   ***Join Robbie as he goes after Blake the vampire to exact revenge. For fans of vampire books, vampire romance, funny vampire, funny vampire books, vampire short stories, and vampire kindle books.