A totally up-to-date compendium of the sharpest, wittiest and downright rudest insults in human history, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.

'Authors are easy to get on with - if you're fond of children.' - Michael Joseph, publisher 'May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits' - Arab curse 'I married beneath me - all women do.' - Nancy Asquith 'Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.' - Albert Einstein 'Your blistered crotch!' - insult from the Marquesas Islands

There's no pleasure like a perfectly-turned put-down (when it's directed at somebody else, of course) but Matthew Parris's Scorn is sharply different from the standard collections. So here is a selection of the funniest, sharpest, rudest and most devastating insults in history, from ancient Roman graffiti to the battlefields of Twitter. Drawing on bile from such masters as Dorothy Parker, Elizabeth I, Boris Johnson, Paul Keating, Groucho Marx, Princess Anne, Winston Churchill, Mae West and Alastair Campbell - which form an exchange between voices down the ages - Scorn shows that abuse can be an art form, and this collection includes extended literary invective as well as short verbal shin-kicks.

Encompassing literature, art, politics, showbiz, marriage, gender, nationality and religion, Matthew Parris's sublime collection is the perfect companion for the festive season, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.