'Fun I love, but too much fun is of all things the most loathsome. Mirth is better than fun, and happiness is better than mirth.' William BlakeThe AuthorSimon Charles Page was born in Romford, Essex in 1970 and grew up with a love of football, film, frolicking and females (the priority of the four 'F's reversed during his teenage years).After attending three different senior schools, Simon decided that it wasn't a good idea to turn up for his GCE's and bunked off to head for the workplace as a carpet fitter, only to find the YTS scheme waiting with twenty something quid a week and a clip 'round the ear for cutting carpet 'very wonky'.Simon describes the next ten years of his working life in grim fashion: 'I've worked as a telesales 'thingy' (eww), vending machine salesman (spit), insurance clerk (snore), debt collector (ouch), recruitment consultant (I liked that one) and a mortgage broker (I worked for sharks and didn't last long).'Things were to change drastically in 1996, when Simon decided to become a 'real' student and take a B.A. Hons. Theology degree somewhere outside of Essex, called 'The North'.Simon began to ask questions about this strange new land called 'The North' and was told there was something called the North-South divide. Apparently, things were so bad 'oop North', that folk were likely to be poorer, live off a diet of mushy peas and statistically, die younger. Whether that was down to the mushy peas, Simon wasn't quite sure - that was until he started to do his research.After reading about an imaginary line called the equator, Simon mistook the North-South divide (which isn't an exact line either) for the Northern and Southern Hemispheres. Things seemed to match at first. After all, the Northern Hemisphere had more pollution due to population density (which Simon believed must contribute to the poor health in 'The North' and not just the mushy peas).Concerned that he might be sharing a million acres of land with a handful of infected people and the odd tiger or elephant, Simon was relieved to discover that his move to new pastures wouldn't involve a Trans-Atlantic flight, but a car journey up the M6 motorway to a grassy dwelling called Cheshire.Simon finished his degree in 1999 and until 2007, worked as a Church Minister in Merseyside and Blackpool. In more sophisticated company, Simon explained that he resided in Southport, near Royal Birkdale and when in Lancashire, he lived a few cosy miles from Royal Lytham.Simon has since been involved in a number of creative projects, patented a new invention with a good friend; launched a number of businesses and of course, written a comedy novel called 'Missing Gretyl'.He has two lovely boys called Ruben and Freddie and has been married for nearly fifteen years to a beautiful lady called Solana. You can find out more about Si Page on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/comedynovel and Twitter http://twitter.com/missinggretyl'Congratulations on your success. I can see why Gretyl has become so popular ... I'm sure I'll see 'Gretyl' on the screen some time in the future.' Richard Boden (Director/Producer: The IT Crowd, Blackadder Goes Forth, The Life of Riley)'A funny, well-observed romp of a book - fast-moving, highly comic scenarios are peppered with big characters. And an ogre at the centre of it (not a real ogre, like in Harry Potter, but then there's no such thing as a real ogre - this is such a thing as a real Gretyl, which is scarier). It's fun and funny.' Paul Kerensa (comedian & scriptwriter for TV sitcoms, incl. 'Miranda' and 'Not Going Out')."'Missing Gretyl' is a rare treat - a brilliantly written comedy novel that's genuinely funny." Mark Stibbe, best selling, award-winning author."You know you're onto a good thing when the novel you start is hard to stop! When you look forward to the next time you can pick it up and get a bit more of the story... when you're a bit miffed to find you've got to do stuff like work, eat, feed your children and even go the loo, as it means you have to put the book down... then the novel has done its job. And this novel does its job very well; the characters are endearing, the plot intriguing and the overall result - pleasing. Go read it!" Author, Annie PorthouseFAKE REVIEW: "If you've nothing better to do than ROFL, then go ahead and buy the damn thing. Laughter is for the weak minded." Mona Lott, Head Labotomist.If you are looking for a very funny comedy novel and you enjoy humour, then this tale of fiction and drama, peppered with events mirroring a scam in Marbella, you are in for a real treat!NOW TO THE STORY.London. Poncey Bridge. Marbella.Are you ready for Gretyl Trollop?Some say she is loud, hairy and obnoxious. Others are less complimentary.Witness the antics of this 'old timer' Gretyl Trollop, her long-suffering husband, Albert, the Soddall family who have 'sod all' and other great characters in this hilarious comedy novel.Married for over fifty years, it's all trouble and strife for the Trollops. They live in a high-rise tower block in London's East End, where there isn't enough room to swing a cat.Gretyl is glued to the TV shopping channels and addicted to car boot sales. Albert finds respite in his allotment and the local bookmakers. They carry on with their separate lives until a mysterious letter threatens to change everything and turn Albert's world upside down.Add to the chaotic mix a removal van, a hitman, a holiday scam and a murderous plan, and you will discover the hilarious and touching world that is, Missing Gretyl.Has Gretyl Trollop finally met her match as she takes on Neil Rochester and his cronies in Poncey Bridge?Can Gretyl play the fraudsters at their own game?Will she survive the murderous attempts of Arti Chokes?Does Albert end up missing Gretyl?Missing Gretyl is a throwback to the golden heyday of British Comedy before the end of the millennium.Slapstick in nature with larger than life characters, get ready for some serious shock and laughter as you delve into the murky world of car boot sales, holiday scams, female 'eye candy' and a hit man.The essence of Missing Gretyl is very British in flavour and inspired by wonderful TV characters like Hyacinth Bucket, Del Trotter, Victor Meldrew and Basil Fawlty."'Missing Gretyl' is a rare treat - a brilliantly written comedy novel that's genuinely funny." Mark Stibbe, best selling, award-winning writer.Missing Gretyl is also available as a paperback through Amazon.You can find out more about the author, Si Page via www.missinggretyl.com