Best series

Okay. I read the first one because all of my friends were raving about them and I'd never read smut before so thought "why not?" What a train wreck. Took me three months to get through the first one because I couldn't get past the SEVENTY-SIX TIMES the main character said "oh my!" So annoying. I only read the sequels because I hate leaving series unfinished but could've easily left it and wouldn't have missed out. Terrible not to mention dangerous books, promoting a really unhealthy relationship and distorting it to make it seem romantic. Because who cares if a guy is creepy and abusive, it's okay if he's rich and handsome!

The irony of rating these as a 1 star (the author could spell) and yet having read all 3 books is not lost on me. However, being hit bestsellers, you find yourself willing them to get better and anticipating that you will indeed be rewarded for sticking with them...well it turns out I'm never going to get those days back!

The leading (ahem) 'lady', Anastasia Whatsherface, wasn't the best modern role model for young women - and no I don't mean because she liked it rough in the bedroom! Fill your boots love! - but because she was probably the most pathetic lead character I've ever come across; needy, snivelling, and presumably with a very sore bottom lip.
And Christian Grey was spoilt, childish and manipulative - hardly charming or sexy in my opinion.

I suspect James had a word count quota beyond her capabilities - hence the ridiculous amount of repetition, for example 'Oh my!' showed its face perhaps every other paragraph. And Anastasia biting her lower lip in order to seduce Mr Grey at every opportunity was my own personal torture!

I don't like to give such negative reviews, and kudos to James for making a huge buck out of essentially one page of writing and some extensive copy and pasting, but I just cannot comprehend the success, and am even embarrassed to say that yes I've read 'those' books - and not in a naughty, flushed face kind of way.

Here is the thing. I have a sappy, romantic, cheesy side and I'm not afraid to say so. The cheese in this one was so over the top, even I had to shake my head. Especially this whole "The lone wolf never had a girlfriend and certainly doesn't want a wife, but he doesn't know yet, that I'm the last coke in the desert, so it'll be happily ever after soon enough" was driving me up the walls. But it was still bearable.

The writing was mediocre, sometimes even good, at other points so awful I wanted to ball my eyes out. The repetitions drove me nuts. There wasn't really a lot of skill behind it all, but that is true for many books and I'm not that easily offended. So it still could have been a 2-3 star read.

But. And that is the thing that makes me stark, raving mad. So mad that I would have tons of white foam all around my mouth, would I be that kind of gal. I'm not. The kind of gal, that is. But raving mad, seething, furious - yeah, that is an adequate description of my inner goddess - fu you very much - whenever I think about that series. And it has nothing to do with the characters specifically. Yes, Gray and what's-her-name are not the most likable persons in the world. Or the smartest, strongest, most complex characters I ever encountered. But what drives me up the walls and makes me want to punch somebody hard with a chair, is the pure audacity of the author.

What the hell do you think you are writing about?! BDSM? BDSM my ass!! And while I think it is absolutely admirable how members of the BDSM scene smile at this depiction of D/S- relationships, and basically ignore it, I am not that reasonable. Or feel that generous.

These stories are insulting, offensive, despicable to everyone who ever even had remote contact to the BDSM scene. This whole thing is so badly researched I wanted to puke over it all the time. For one, "Safe, sane and consensual" is not just a suggestion. So whatever you do with your Dom or Sub, it is negotiated and determinded beforehand, not while you're at it. Secondly, a BDSM relationship, any realtionship between a Dom and Sub is unique, a bond shared based on needs and preferences. It is not about pain and humilitation. This can be part of it, but it damn well is not the freaking crux of the matter!

And most importantly, it is NOT a choice to have a preference for domination or submission. This is an intergal part of the sexuality of a lot of people and I find it disgusting how that notion is twisted around in these books. It is NOT a perversion. It is NOT a sickness. It is NOT something you have to be ashamed of, and it sure as hell is not the ultimate result of a young boy being seduced and abused by an older woman when he was way to young. It is not the choice of somebody to damaged to have a "normal" sex life and I can't stress enough how utterly enraged and disgusted I was while I was reading about Christian basically has to Overcome his need to dominate what's-her#name all the time, and after eveything is said and done, with the right woman he can choose to be less dominant and more "normal".

FU, E.L. James for this beacon of light, exhumed from a long time ago in a far away land. This is the place where lesbians only need a real man, bisexuals are a myth on the way to gay-town and gay men in a relationship always have to be a "woman" and "man". Also, a Dom always wants to hurt you in the bedroom, but is happy to let you go on with the rest of your life on your own. Sure. And he is absolutely happy to have a partner who has "no submissive bone in [her ] body, but is playing the role badly, because she chose to do so.

If that is hat you really think, what you really believe in, then please play with something toxic, that will enable your eyes to see the real world and your synapses to work right again.

I'm not a Dom, and I'm definitely not a Sub, and I can't choose to be either. But I'm offended on all of my nearest and dearest's behalf, because this is the worst no-go I've encountered in a very, very long time. Everybody who thinks now they know something about the BDSM scenes and D/s relationships: Please think again and read something else!

DNF@75%
First I would like to clarify why two stars not one cause I kinda liked the first book a little, I thought that the next books will have the characters grow emotionally and mentally but no same old same old even worse, the writing was bad I couldn't feel the characters and there was no intimacy between the MC, ana was a stupid naive 21 girl who act like a 16 years old she has no self value no self repect and confidence not mention fall in love with someone who control every aspect of her life doesn't respect her opinion constantly underestimating her and repressing her, christian is a control freak who treat ana like property rather than lover and I mean I like f***ed up characters but Christian is too much of jerk to even like, this book is not BDSM book it is just about two people engaging in rough sex to me this book is an insult to the BDSM community cause Christian is not a Dom nor a sadist and only use it as a mean of revenge from his mother, this book has the most disturbing scene I have ever read where Christian have sex with ana during her period and she was ok with it I mean Disgusting, the next two books was all sex no story except nonsense suspens that it was poor addition to the story by the time I reached half the last book I said enough I can't take any more boring meaningless BS, I don't know how did this manage to be a bestseller and a movie but I guess that is not for me and till now I don't know how did I continued to read till half of last book, all I know is this was not an enjoyable read it was frustrating and boring and that this ugly book is being permanently deleted from my ereader and wiped out of my mind forever.
P.S. I only read this because once upon a time when I was a naive teen I read Twilight Saga and you can see the resemblance to the MC characters and their actions very clearly which made me realise how in hell I liked twilight I guess I was just a kid but to me I think twilight was much better in terms of writing and characters.