After the relative lack of plot in Brothers in Arms, Mirror Dance starts out with a bang and never lets up. Also, it may contain a few of the most heartbreaking lines in the entire series, some of which are heartbreaking after some of the later books. (Contender, Cordelia about Aral: “I think Simon Illyan would still turn himself inside out for you after you were dead and buried.”) This is probably why my notes for this book are just a bunch of frowny faces and the word “ow”. Also, spoilers for this book follow.

Once again, LMB sets up a lot of the themes at the very beginning–in this case, the technical details of cryogenics and the risks of survival. Also, in the title, the image of mirrors that she plays with over and over and over again. It’s not just Mark and Miles, who are the obvious pairing (literal mirror images, at times), but the Vorkosigan brothers and the Barons Fell and Ryoval; Elli and Elena; Mark and Taura; Mark and Elena. All in different ways, all giving different shades of meaning to the story.

I was thinking yesterday that the unintentional theme of this re-read is Cordelia’s Children, and that seems to be borne out here. Mark’s journey from defiantly isolated and family-less to being part–his own unique and perhaps tenuous part–of the Vorkosigan-Naismith family is one of the major threads of this book. Cordelia herself is central to this negotiation, being the one who can accept Mark unquestioningly. (Another candidate for heartbreaking lines, Elena to Mark: “Mark. She’ll mean you.”)

The other major thread is Miles and his slow disintegration as Admiral Naismith. This isn’t finished in this book–that won’t come until Memory–but it’s first forshadowed (“I won’t really begin to worry for his sanity til he’s cut off from the little admiral.”) and then begun. There’s a sense overall through this book of times changing; Bel leaves, Elli Quinn has to step up, Aral has his heart attack. But most of these strands aren’t completely resolved, which explains the unsettled feeling I had at the end of the book.

There aren’t many light points, but I had a moment of foreshadowed hilarity when Simon shows Mark around the ImpSec headquarters. And Mark and Kareen! Yaaaay.

The rest of the time, especially after Miles dies, is a heart-stopping read, both in the “What’s happening now” sense, and in the “How do I stop this from happening?” sense. Basically everyone is in emotional or physical pain (Ivan crying in the gazebo), and it downright hurts to read, even when they’re growing, even when it turns out to be all right.

Gregor is actually one of my favorite characters (Who am I kidding? They’re ALL my favorite characters.) and this book illuminated part of his role in the series that I hadn’t really considered before. For both Mark and Miles, he’s a catalyst of identity, helping them define themselves. In a less positive way, for Miles, perhaps–he’s so much what Miles might have been, despite his loyalties. But his tendency to give people rope sometimes results in them saving themselves, and discovering who they are.

Speaking of saving themselves–the first time I read Mirror Dance, I was too horrified to really appreciate Mark and his choices/reactions. But this read, the conversation between Elena and Mark came across as very powerful. (“I will not allow you to turn my victory to defeat for the sake of your damned…feelings.”) Mark becomes himself, messed up and reactionary as he is, in this book.

So, this is a painful book to read, but it’s extremely well done, despite all my ows and frowny faces. It’s a measure of how well written the series is, that I care so much about all of these characters, flawed though they are.

Actually, I have a pretty clear winner for foreshadowing heartbreakers. This is a spoiler for the end of Cryoburn, so if you haven’t gotten there yet, don’t keep reading: “It had scared the hell out of him, retroactively, this whole cardiac episode. Not that his father must die someday, perhaps before him—that was the proper order of things, and Miles could not wish it upon the Count for it to be the other way around—but that Miles might not be here when it happened. When he was needed. Might be off indulging himself with the Dendarii Mercenaries, say, and not get the word for weeks.” I literally said, “Nooooo!” and shoved the computer away from me. And then cried.

I’m bringing back an old feature I did a few times–reading notes! I tend to use these when I’m re-reading a book and having Thoughts that aren’t quite a review. In this case, I’m taking a look at the first two books in Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan Saga, handily collected into an omnibus and titled Cordelia’s Honor. Spoilers for the first two books should be expected.

On to Barrayar!

Again with Simon described as puppyish. No, my brain just refuses to give me that image.

Ah, of course–Aral is dismantling the Ministry of Political Education, ergo it doesn’t appear in the later books. It is interesting, though, how completely it disappears even as a bogey-man. (Imp Sec serves that function.)

Little Gregor! With a robot stegosaurus. Awwww. And charming his mother out of cream cakes–I love that little glimpse, but given what’s about to happen, what he’s about to lose, it makes me so sad at the same time.

The few years between the writing of Shards and Barrayar actually show up pretty clearly. Re-reading with the grace of hindsight, you can see how LMB wove in the thread of Barrayar’s reaction to physical and mental difference, from Koudelka and his sword-stick to Aral and Cordelia’s conversation about him and Bothari and Barrayaran customs. That is, her ability to set up the plot has improved. This shows up later too, when a key point of the plot hinges on that moment–forgotten except by Bothari–when Aral gives Cordelia the authority of his voice.

I didn’t expect the emotional blow of seeing what Miles’ name should have been, because of course at this point he’s just Miles and has never been anything else. But ‘Piotr Miles’–ow, ow, ow. And then continued blows in a one-two of Padma Xav Vorpatril (gives Tej’s Ivan Xav a different shade of meaning) and Cordelia’s imagining of herds of little Vorkosigans. This book is turning out to be much more traumatic than I expected.

The awful part is, I like Kareen. She comes through a marriage to someone awful in a remarkably sane way (even with Ezar’s help) and is then thrown into this probably sometimes uncomfortable relationship with Aral and Cordelia and deals with it with a lot of grace.

When I read this the first time, my sympathies after the soltoxin attack were entirely with Cordelia. And they still are, but I also see the conflict for Aral–wife, or father. Actually, it’s not a conflict exactly; he always chooses wife, but it’s hard to do so. It’s breaking his heart in two. (Or perhaps three, when you consider how quickly he’s forced to use his position as Regent in a personal matter.)

“The chill of the Dendarii night.” Oh. Well, there’s echoes for you. (Gives a new shade of meaning to Miles’ choice of names–rebellion, homage, ?)

I suspect the thread that ties this story together is Cordelia’s moving from a passive ‘just a wife and mother’ model (which of course, no one ever is) to, well, herself. The Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan that we know and love, where being a wife and mother is part of who she is, but not the sum of it. It starts becoming apparent when she and Gregor are hiding out in the mountains.

Oh, Kareen.

I’m bringing back an old feature I did a few times–reading notes! I tend to use these when I’m re-reading a book and having Thoughts that aren’t quite a review. In this case, I’m taking a look at the first two books in Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan Saga, handily collected into an omnibus and titled Cordelia’s Honor. Spoilers for the first two books should be expected.

Today: Shards of Honor

It is quite strange to re-read these earliest of books; the Barrayar that is shown in the beginning of Shards of Honor is so manifestly not the Barrayar that we see later on. Of course, we are very much in Cordelia’s point-of-view, and yet there are also things like the Ministry of Political Education which I don’t remember seeing in any other book. On the other hand, there are tantalizing glimpses of things like the importance of spoken oaths in Barrayaran culture (which later translates into Miles’ authority as the Imperial Auditor).

I think what I continue to admire and value in both Aral and Cordelia (and their subsequent offspring) is the sense of duty and trying one’s best. It’s not as simple as patriotism, and especially not the unthinking and uncritical variety. But it’s the duty of care to those around the characters which drives them forward, and which is often rewarded.

Ugh, Vorrutyer is so awful. How is By related to him? (By is awful in his own way, but it is decidedly NOT this Vorrutyer’s.)

I think partly, dovetailing off of this and also Prince Serg, I’m so used to the fearsome and sometimes questionable but also sympathetic grouping of The Gregor, Miles, Aral, and Simon that I forget what a dark period Barrayar had just passed through. Serg and Vorrutyer are the last hurrah of the old bad times, in a way.

ILLYAN!! It’s so fun meeting the people who become important later on, this time knowing who they are, or rather who they will be. Also, Simon with a bland puppy face is almost unimaginable. But for that matter, Simon spying on, instead of for, Aral is almost unimaginable.

Part of what’s interesting to me is Cordelia’s journey from seeing Barrayar as completely evil, to understanding it a bit better, to going home and seeing the flaws in her own society. Although she’s quite a bit older than a teen, it has a kind of YA coming-of-age feel to it.

“We’re going to have a family. I’ll not risk them in those gladiator politics.” Oh, ow.