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text 2018-05-15 05:35
Backlash
Backlash - Sarah Darer Littman

I literally hate this book with every fibre in my being. This is literally the most ridiculous portrayal of cyberbullying that I have ever had the misfortune of reading of my own two eyeballs. I literally don't even know where to begin.

First off, the writing in this is literally so ... mediocre? It literally reads like mediocre fanfiction. And full offense this author literally hasn't spoken to a teenager after 2010 and it shows. I'd feel bad for saying it but I'm getting so tired of adults who have literally no idea what the teenagers of the modern day are like and writing them as whatever stereotype they have in their head. I would've let this slide if this had been written in like 2009 but this was literally published in 2015 so like ... get with the times.

People my age don't use Facebook all that much anymore, at least they don't use it in the way that it's portrayed in the book. Nobody puts you on blast and tells you to kill yourself on a Facebook post in the year of 2015. They just don't. They'll do it on a spam account on instagram or on their snapstory but even then they'll be shady about it, they won't ever mention any names.

Which someone would know if they had ever actually spoken to someone between the ages of 13-20.

Moving on.

All of these characters are like caricatures of human beings, not to mention they're all fucking sociopaths. Everything is so exaggerated to the point that it literally wouldn't work this way in the real world.

Lara is literally so annoying and I should probably feel bad for saying this considering her situation, but she was a fucking idiot. I get where her self-esteem issues came from, seriously I do, but I feel like the way that they were handled was so poorly and it honestly didn't feel like it came from somewhere deep. Maybe it's just me but I literally do not understand why someone would give two shits about the opinion of any boy, especially one they've never met in person. I don't know what it was but her situation just didn't feel real to me.

You mean to tell me, this girl goes from being perfectly fine for weeks and months on end and enjoying life ... to attempting suicide because one boy told her the world would be a better place without her? I don't know, maybe I don't know enough about this type of thing yet to be able to judge whether or not it was realistic, maybe someone really can make a complete 360.

Her sister Sydney is literally ... so self-centered. Her sister literally tries to kill herself and this girl thinks her life is hard because she can't make it to her audition. How fucking hard it must be for you to have a mentally ill sister. Why doesn't she just put on hold so that you can have some attention for five minutes. God she was so annoying but as annoying as she was, she was also one of the only sane fucking people in this book and that wasn't all that hard to achieve since everyone was batshit insane.

Bree is a fucking sociopath, I feel bad for saying this but honestly this girl deserved everything she got and I can't believe the book actually tries to make you feel bad for her. Boo hoo you dumb bitch you didn't make the cheerleading squad get on with your life Christ. Literally who even fucking thinks it's an appropriate thing to create an entire fake account so you can emotionally damage someone you used to be friends with. I literally can't put into words how fucking insane that is.

HER MOM WAS EVEN WORSE.

This woman, instead of scolding her daughter and punishing her for being a literal terrible human being decides tO JOIN IN ON THE CREEPY CATFISH FLIRTING TO BE PETTY AT LARA'S MOM BECAUSE SHE'S AN UNFULFILLED MIDDLE AGED WOMAN. 

The only decent, sane person in this entire book is Liam who calls out his sister for her absolutely insane behaviour and tells her that she's a literal piece of trash.

Look I get it, cyberbullying is a big thing in the age of technology and it's important to talk about ... but this book does a really bad job of it and I feel like if anything, makes it seem a lot simpler than any cyberbullying situation would be.

This book is terrible and I didn't even bother with the last 20 pages, thank you for listening to my TedTalk.
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review 2016-04-22 03:09
Heart of Darkness
Heart of Darkness and the Congo Diary - Joseph Conrad

Let’s get right down to it folks: I hate this book. I hate it with a burning passion, and I’m experiencing severe dislike for my English teacher for making me read this pile of shit. She’s a lovely lady, but I don’t understand why she hates me because there’s no other reason as to why she would make me suffer through this book.

 

I know that this is considered to be some great literary masterpiece, and in the words of my teacher, an existentialist novel but watching paint dry is more interesting than this novella.

 

I’ve read a lot of books that were written in the 1900s or set in the 1900s and dealt with racism but none of those books have made me nearly as uncomfortable as Heart of Darkness did. I know, I know, racism is a thing but that doesn’t make me any less uncomfortable by the amount of times the n word was used throughout this novel, or the many times where black people are referred to as “savages,” “enemies.”

 

Moving beyond that, after reading this entire book, word for word, page for page, I cannot tell you not onething about it beyond what my teacher talked about in class. After reading one entire page, I couldn’t tell you what happened on that page. There is a problem here when I can’t tell you what a book is about after reading it. I have no recollection of any of the events that happened in this book.

 

The story didn’t really go anywhere, there wasn’t a point to it, it was just Marlow talking about an adventure that he had which nobody asked to listen to in the first place. By the end of the story, I don’t think anybody on the ship with Marlow, besides the other narrator, even listened to what he said. I know I’m supposed to care about the events that occur and all the symbolism and stuff, but I couldn’t bring myself to care at all.

This is supposed to be deep and meaningful because it talks about human nature and the darkness in our hearts and yada yada yada but I don’t care.

 

I locked myself up in my room for days on end so that I could focus on this novella and absorb it and understand it, and I cannot tell you what happens in this story. I can’t believe trees actually died so this piece of shit work could be printed on it.

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review 2015-12-18 21:49
Sisters of Versaille
The Sisters of Versailles: A Novel (The Mistresses of Versailles Trilogy) - Sally Christie

I stopped reading this mostly because I had to return it to the library since I couldn't renew it but anyway.

I should have technically been able to read this book in a matter of two to three days, it wasn't very long, but it was so boring that I kept finding reasons to NOT read it. I love me some historical fiction, really, I do, but something needs to happen in order to keep my attention throughout the entire book.

Nothing happened in this book. Nothing. At all. Louise had sex with Louis a bunch of times, the two of them fell in love, and then Louis got the hots for her sister and she was heartbroken over it, and it went on. That was pretty much the whole story.

I hated the plot of this story, to be honest I'm not even sure there was any plot to begin with because I sure as hell couldn't see it. The story started off with Louise and we read about how she gets to Versailles and eventually becomes the kings mistress. And I was okay up until the point when she does becomes the kings mistress, and then it just goes down hill from there.

I have to read page after page of Louise fawning over Louis, and how great he was and how sweet, smart, and gentle. Pages of her describing what other people were wearing, and going into detail about the dresses of the ladies, it went on and on. I didn't care. It felt like my brain was leaking out through my ears. I was so happy whenever the story was being told from the point of view of any of the other sisters.

I want to talk about everything that I hated about this story but I can't because nothing happened, there is almost nothing for me to talk about. The pace of it was so slow it could've put me to sleep, which is probably why I read this before going to bed every night.

The characters were almost as uninteresting as the storyline. This book is narrated by five sisters, and you'd think that with five sisters, they'd all have different personalities, but no, they don't. They're all exactly the same, each and every one of them. They have the same voice, the same thoughts, and they're all fake as hell. They're supposed to be sisters but instead they shit talk one another behind each other's back like okay, real strong bond you've got there.

Like I get it, you vent to someone whenever a friend or family member or co-worker does something that upsets you but that wasn't even it, Louise's sisters were just straight up shit talking her.

All of the sisters are so painfully polite and nice to each other whenever they're together, and you know that they're huge fakes because of how they feel when you read the story from their point of view. The only one who actually stood out, was Pauline. Pauline wasn't fake, she was straight forward about what she wanted, and she'd get it. Pauline wanted to be the mistress of the king, Pauline wanted to be the most powerful woman in France, and no one was going to stop her.

Pauline didn't even have to try and replace Louise as the kings favourite because Louise is such a pushover, and so dull that all she did was get out of the way and let Pauline do whatever she wanted. Pauline wasn't kidding when she said Louise was stupid, I thought she was just being a bitch but the girl was right, Louise is stupid.

But I can't even defend Pauline because she dethroned herself in the end so I mean. Marie-Anne was trying to be Pauline except she wasn't very good at it, but this girl probably had the most interesting sex life out of all of them so you know what, power to her. At least Marie-Anne figured out how sex worked and got her husband to do it right.

Honestly, if it didn't have the name of which sister was narrating at the top of every chapter, I probably wouldn't have been able to figure out who was telling the story.

The minor characters were equally uninteresting, and they all had the same personality traits. If you can't have your main characters stand out, then you could at least have one minor character that really stood out, but no. All of the women had the same nasty characteristics, and all the men were trying to kiss the kings ass.

And lastly, the one thing that I felt was extremely unnecessary to this story was the letters that the sisters wrote to each other because they were so dull, and so repetitive, I felt like I was at the beginning of the novel each time I came across one. I ended up skipping all of them altogether because I just didn't care.

For a debut novel, it wasn't bad. It was extremely dull, and the characters were all dull and copies of one another, but the writing itself wasn't bad. That being said though, I would not suggest writing from five different point of views in your debut novel, because even if you think you can make your characters stand out from one another, you probably can't.

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review 2015-01-02 22:51
Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later
Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later - Francine Pascal

I hated this book so much. It's been sitting on my shelf for up to two years now because a friend gave it to me as a gift (I forget what I had done for her)  because she knew that I liked books so I felt that because it was a gift I would give it a shot.

 

But I hated this book. In fact, I just went and threw it in my recycling bin. Sorry friend. I will not have this monstrosity sitting on my bookshelf.

 

One of the many things that I disliked about this was the fact that it kept switching from the past to the present as well as the narrative. I honestly, didn't care about the flashbacks, I could've done without them. They just meant I was wasting even more of my time reading the book. By the end of this, I just completely gave up on reading the flashbacks and skipped them, some of them weren't even anything new, it was just the same thing told from someone else's point of view.

 

The writing seemed incredibly choppy at times which made it awkward to read and when it came to the smut, this book is an example of doing smut without having to actually write it. It was embarrassing to read, I felt like I was being judged for having this book in my hand.

 

The plot, I don't even know what the plot of the story was to be perfectly honest with you. It just felt like the same thing dragging on for dozens of pages. It kept switching from Jessica's point of view to Elizabeth's and each time it was the same crap over and over. Elizabeth angsting over her sister's betrayal, her sister feeling like crap for betraying her sister's trust and on and on it went.

 

http://media0.giphy.com/media/Rhhr8D5mKSX7O/giphy.gif 

 

It moved at such a slow pace, at times I began to wonder if time was even passing in the story because so very little was happening. Every single thing reminded Elizabeth of what her sister had done and Jessica did nothing but sob to Todd about how big a piece of trash she was.

 

It got tiring at some point. You know what, you made your bed now you have to lay in it. If you didn't want to lose your sister then you shouldn't have cheated on her with her own boyfriend. Both her and Todd are scum, if you wanted to be with each other, the simple thing to do would've been to break up with Elizabeth first and then go out with each other. 

 

This is why I hate stories like this so much! None of this bullshit would've happened if everyone would've just opened their mouths and talked to each other instead of going behind everyone's back.

 

"I couldn't help myself."

 

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-08/8/13/enhanced/webdr09/anigif_enhanced-buzz-25859-1407519091-14.gif

 

You are a grown ass human being, not a goddamn five-year-old who sees a cookie and wants to eat it no matter what the cost. I couldn't help myself is not a proper excuse because you could've helped yourself but you chose not to because you decided that Elizabeth's feelings were completely irrelevant as long as you got what made you happy.

 

And Jessica has no right to be sobbing, she willingly did this to her own sister, she can sob and go "I love you," all she wants but the fact that she willingly did this to her own sister speaks volumes about just how far her affections for her own sibling went. She deserved everything that she got.

 

Todd was a jealous insecure piece of crap like you know what, don't even be in a relationship if you don't trust your spouse to keep it in their pants. Don't turn into the Hulk with your jealousy, take that somewhere else.

 

I just hated this book so much please love yourself and never read it. Buy this book as a present for someone that you hate if anything.

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review 2014-07-13 20:14
The Bar Code Prophecy
The Bar Code Prophecy - Suzanne Weyn

I finally finished this series and now I can stop caring about it!

 

I felt like the writing in this one was a lot slower than the other two books, which was great because the other ones just felt like brief scenes thrown together with no transition between them. That being said, there was some stuff that was brought up with almost explanation to it, like the Hopi people and stuff.

 

There was some prophecy about the Bar Code tattoo and somehow it was linked to this place that was sacred to the Hopi people but it was never explained why these Hopi people were even relevant to the prophecy or why there was a prophecy in the first place. This entire book could've been told the exact same way without the mention of a prophecy.

 

My relationship with this book is complicated because I absolutely love and adore the idea of bar codes and everything that's happened so far but the problem is that the books are so short that the idea never really gets fully fleshed out and I feel like the author didn't go into enough depth about it. This is the type of series that I honestly would not have minded if each book was 500 and more pages long in small print because it's such an interesting idea and the author could've gone in so many directions with it.

 

The romance would've been so much better because it would've built up and the characters would've actually gotten time to get to know each other. But because the books are so short and cramped, every time someone says I love you I want rip my brain out with my bare hands and scream to the world.

 

This trilogy had so much potential to be great and brilliant but it really fell short of that of for me and I just wish that the author had spent more time fleshing out the story and the details and how everything was connected instead of giving the readers something that didn't feel like it had only a little bit of thought put into it.

 

I wanted to know more about Global-1 and what they were doing. These people sounded like they had the best of the best on board with them so why would they refuse to stop doing what they were doing if they knew that it wouldn't end well for anyone? If they want to control the world, how are they going to do that if the things that they're doing is destroying everyone living on earth?

 

I had such high expectations and I was really let down.(less)

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