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review 2019-10-17 14:53
Can Asperger explain your relationship difficulties?

Can Asperger explain your relationship difficulties?

If you are trying to understand why you have difficulties with a persistent relationship and wonder if Asperger plays a role, this blog post should help.

 

As we all know, relationships can be difficult and sometimes complex, but when a partner is faced with Asperger difficulties usually arise. That's because ASD is basically a difference of socio-emotional communication.

 

Being able to express your feelings and be emotionally supportive of each other is the lifeblood of a healthy relationship. This can be difficult, if you are in a varied nervous marriage, and over time you can run out of energy trying to deal with these challenges.

 

 

 

To make things more difficult, the tools and strategies that "variety of gardens" find useful often do not work for you in a varied nervous relationship.

 

I will start with how I feel to be a nervous partner with Aspie, and then also talk about what it feels like to be my partner in a relationship with a nervous person. Next I will describe how the relationship usually progresses and the challenges that can occur along the way, then how you can help your relationship.

 

Just a note, in the past Asperger was considered associated with autism but different from it, but since 2013, when a new classification called Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) was created in DSMV, it is now considered sitting in the moderate end of the autism spectrum.

Does my partner have Asperger? Here are 55 relationship clues.

Below is a 55-point questionnaire we have created that will help as a starting point. It is important to understand that Asperger has a very diverse range of symptoms and there will be no two people alike. But the more these points you feel are appropriate for your relationship, the more likely that ASD will explain your set of difficulties.

 

If you find that 40 or more of the clues below apply, your partner may have Asperger's.

 

For ease of expression, I'll use the term "he", but this may equally refer to "she".

 

  1. Your relationship began an emotional start, but your emotion diminished very quickly when you started living together
  2. Your partner can often engage in long wind talks that are often unilateral
  3. They may find it difficult to put themselves in someone else's shoes and empathize with them
  4. It often needs many periods of isolation and quiet time
  5. He does not tend to understand the nature of giving and conversation
  6. It can often seem to be self-absorbing
  7. You often feel emotional deprivation from this relationship
  8. He often interprets words quite literally
  9. He has a hard time talking about his emotions and therefore tends to avoid it
  10. He or she may have trouble linking what you feel to what he did or didn't do
  11. You are often frustrated by your inability to communicate at a deep and steady level
  12. Even if you are physically together, you can feel that there is an emotional distance, which can make you feel lonely.
  13. He can sometimes suffer from overload
  14. Tends to be ashamed of offers of public affection
  15. You can often feel taken for granted by him
  16. He tends to show the feelings of love through his actions
  17. You can feel that your best efforts in the relationship get very little in return
  18. He doesn't choose to socialize with his friends much
  19. Can be tempted to be lazy in a relationship
  20. He may find it hard to leave sex completely
  21. They may have difficulty communicating with you when you talk about an emotional problem
  22. He gets defensive easily and courteously talks that can be seen as attack or criticism
  23. It may not tell you the whole truth
  24. Usually tends to put himself and his needs first
  25. Sometimes you can find yourself in situations that are shocked at how insensitive it is
  26. It can be altruistic and heroic, but sometimes when you expect him to come for you, he may not be able to deal with it
  27. Not inclined to like pressure or expectations
  28. In times of difficult relationship, he tends to see you as nervous
  29. Sometimes it may be difficult to hold onto a job or see things
  30. Feel more comfortable with structure and routine
  31. He finds it difficult to respond to the alarm clock
  32. Can be excessive in lazy activities
  33. His loneliness or cocoon is necessary for him
  34. Depression is a common condition for him at different times of his life
  35. It can be very passive
  36. Does not tend to be good at organizing holidays or excursions
  37. It is often uninterested in your world, your inner life, or your activities
  38. Tends to be pulled socially
  39. He can sometimes interrupt you and change the subject when you are in the middle of a sentence
  40. It can keep you separated from family and / or friends
  41. Even if he loves you and appreciates your relationship, you may never get a commitment. He may worry that he is unable to be a good husband.
  42. He may get married because you want him and then he is often half-hearted
  43. It will be more comfortable with old friends and family than new friends
  44. He can admit that it's good to have companionship, but it creates pressure on him
  45. Can tend to live in his rational mind more
  46. His conversations can often be a brief surface level
  47. You may find it difficult to overcome his anxiety and routines and the inability to be silly and trivial
  48. Chances are that he didn't make any promises, unless you're married
  49. You’ve made more adjustments to it over time than it did
  50. You feel more of his caregiver than his equal
  51. You might feel you were not number 1 for him. His special attention is often
  52. You may feel that you have to do more than just an equal share of household chores
  53. Your relationship may be more practical than anything else
  54. You may deny having a problem because it finds it difficult to empathize with how you feel
  55. You may feel isolated because no one understands what is going on behind closed doors, and it seems normal for others outside the relationship

 

 

 

Those who have Asperger are at a disadvantage in the relationship, but that does not mean with guidance that it is not possible to create a happy union. Each partner has different and very unique needs and these need to be taken into account.

 

 

 

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Source: thepsychologyhub.com.au/childhood-and-adolescence
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review 2019-10-17 14:51
The sexual desire of women and why is not recognized by men mostly

Women's sexual desire varies

We have learned a lot about women's sexual desire in the last few decades.

 

In the past, when sex scientists were predominantly male, libido - or "libido" - was thought to resemble some kind of hydraulic pressure in the body. Like the pressure that most young people feel when they need to ejaculate.

 

But the hydraulic model does not fit the realities of sexual desire for most women. Most women need a reason to have sex. Otherwise, they may go for a long time without feeling desire.

 

Men need a reason to have sex, too. But for most men, the reason can be as simple as taking your partner off his shirt.

 

Most men's minds tend to say "yes" to sex. While most minds of women tend to say "maybe" or "depends".

 

 

 

As a remedy for sex, when a straight couple comes to see me because they don't have sex, the male partner still always masturbates regularly. Women often stop masturbating, or rarely do so.

 

In the absence of pathological sex, it is as if a woman's libido has just grown. Like a screen saver on an old desktop computer, a woman's libido system often stays in "sleep mode" until someone moves the mouse.

 

Sexual desire for women and the definition of good sex.

Of course, this leaves open the question of what good sex is, right? People have widely different views, of course.

 

But after discussing the subject with hundreds of people over the years, I think most people's perceptions of good sex will involve authentic excitement - not just hard or wet.

 

As I discussed in my article, Sex Tips for Married Lovers, real excitement requires more than hardness or wetness. By my definition, you don't really get angry unless you lose a lot of IQ.

 

The true authentic excitement should make you feel good about yourself. Good for your partner too - in a preliminary way just saying "Yes, these are the things I love!" Otherwise, your mind can easily go into screensaver mode, and libido can stop completely.

 

But many couples do not know how to recognize authentic sexual arousal. They think if they are tough or wet, they are ready to have sex. This leads to a lot of bad sex, as the hardness and humidity are not enough to move the mouse.

 

You can not feed the desire for bad sex. Only good sex can nourish the desire for a committed relationship.

 

Clear, huh? You'd be surprised. Many of the couples I see in my office never bothered to think about those simple facts.

 

How to confuse women's sexual desire among men

As a sexual remedy, I noticed that the sexual desire of heterosexual women sometimes confuses men. They are completely missed.

 

Here's why: Many women don't just want to have sex. They want to feel desirable first.

 

If a woman does not feel like it, the sex itself may not seem very attractive.

 

Wait, you say. Doesn't everyone know how important most women feel?

 

You'd be surprised. I see many men in my office who have no idea how important this is to women's sexual desire.

 

Now here's something that I find baffling most men: for a sense of desire, a woman may sometimes turn away from her partner - hoping to run after her.

 

This is very strange for the average male mind that few men understand at all.

 

When talking to men in my office, I often cross species lines and explain the following example:

 

What men can learn from the sexual behavior of mice

I once attended a sex therapy conference where researcher Jim Pfoss showed videos of rats having sex. The most interesting part turns out to be foreplay.

 

By human standards, all male mice are ejaculating devices - so the sex of mice is usually short-lived. But foreplay mice can last for a long time.

 

Here are the typical rat caresses:

 

The female rat acts in front of the male rat, gets his attention, and then throws. With any luck, he will be interested enough to chase her. He may chase her around the cage for a long time, before she finally lets him get it.

 

Female mice tend to prolong all this. More than one sex researcher has questioned whether mice have more of this strange type of foreplay than actual sex.

 

Many people have noticed that the whole thing is suspiciously similar to what sometimes happens during sexual intermarriage between sexes: how a woman's sexual desire often looks like her pleasure when stalking as much as afterwards.

Juego and women's libido

Now, of course, there are exceptions. There are also exceptions to every generalization you may make about sex and sex. There is a great deal of diversity in human mating. In an article in PsychologyToday, I discussed the fact that some men have an unusually strong yearning to be desirable as well.

 

But the fact that many women 's libido can manifest through the desire to escape usually causes a lot of harm in heterosexual couples. So it is extremely important to understand a man.

 

My colleague Esther Pearl describes one of her Spanish-speaking customers playing a game called Jojo. To play this game, the first thing is to make yourself out of reach. If your partner responds by following you, you win the game.

 

For many men, the hardest thing about playing "Juego" is the realization of a game that rotates in the first place.

 

Many men will receive the absence of their partner with neglect of the shoulders and go on to do something else - which of course defeats the whole purpose. Then they were surprised to be angry or frustrated.

 

Take a message to the house: If you're in a committed relationship, be careful when you're away. If this happens, consider the possibility that this is a manifestation of her desire - and this is like a female rat, you might hope to start a chase.

 

 

 

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Source: thepsychologyhub.com.au/babies-infants-and-early-childhood
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review 2019-10-17 14:47
The only most important element in your relationship

Do you really feel you heard by your partner? Is your partner really there for you?

 

Sincere listening to understanding and empathy is the key to a lasting, loving and satisfying relationship.

 

If you only focus on one thing, let him listen; - but I'm talking about real and honest listening - not pretending to listen to many of us. You know what I mean: I took a look at your face saying that I listen; you may hint occasionally, but your mind is a million miles away.

 

Or maybe you're the type of "listen to respond", where you listen enough to gather evidence to refute you - so you can use your partners' ideas as ammunition against them?

 

Our relationships are built on the foundation of love and trust. We all want to know that our partner really cares about us, so when we express ourselves, we are important enough to them because they take the time and effort to understand what we want to share.

 

 

 

This feeling that our partner "gets us" deeply affects us in our essence. This sense of understanding creates deposits in our love bank more than most other things our partner can do. Trust flowers when we hear and understand.

 

During my 25 years as a psychiatrist in relationships, every couple I saw struggling in their relationship had fundamental problems listening to each other.

 

So, what are the 5 basics of real listening?

 

Be curious about your partner - enter their world

First, she intends to corner your thoughts and feelings for a moment, and travel to the other person's world curiously for what they think and feel.

 

It's important to set aside your thoughts and feelings, so you can live as much as possible in your partner's world, for just a few minutes. As they talk, imagine being themselves, imagine how you would feel living in their shoes; what do you worry about, sad, happy?

 

Reverse them to what I heard and understood

Once you are told what is important to them, tell them a quick summary of what you heard them say. This may seem fascinated and unnecessary if you have never done so, but it makes a big difference whether your partner feels you are “getting it” or at least trying to get it. They'll let you know if you've got it completely, or if there's something you don't fully understand.

 

Ask if there is more

Here again, have a great impact on your partner for you to ask what else might be in their mind. By doing so, you show that you care about you and that you don't just neglect them. Often when we are asked, we will feel that we have been given permission to provide further clarification, which may help you understand the background of what is happening. Listen to what is on their mind, and reflect what you have heard, keeping your thoughts and feelings on the side.

 

Tell the Truth

Now that you have heard your partner in full, you have a chance to talk about what happened to you, or about your opinion on the subject or situation.

 

Now you will have your partner's full attention.

 

I can't emphasize enough the difference that makes you hear a full voice, too, if you've listened to your partner first.

 

Many couples stumble into a mutual blackout dance when it comes to listening. "Well, if you won't listen to me, you don't think I'll listen to you !!!!" It ends up not listening, rather than listening.

 

Talk now, let your partner listen to the same care and attention you used with them, reflect what you heard, and make sure to clarify anything that needs clarification, the same way you did for them.

 

Discuss the views and come up with a solution

Now that you have heard the views or thoughts and feelings about the situation, discuss from an equal and respectful place what may be some solutions to this problem. Sometimes no solution is required; just listening to and hearing is all that is needed.

 

If a solution is needed, and you can't find a solution right away, agree to spend a day or so to consider everything, and come back to talking about it soon. Often, new creative possibilities can emerge once you are aware of both your views, and you will have time to think about solutions.

 

There will always be differences of opinion, thoughts and feelings between spouses, but how you manage is critical to your long-term happiness and satisfaction in your relationship. Take your time and your eagerness to listen fully, and you'll get a rich reward.

 

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review 2019-10-09 13:38
Get ready for couples advice

Get ready for couples advice

The decision to go to couples counseling is a big problem.

 

You have chosen to invest in your relationship, and you are committed to improving it for you. You say "this is worth fighting for," which is commendable.

 

Couples counseling is a great environment where you can get to know each other and take steps to solve any problems you encounter. But while counseling is a wonderful environment in which you are experiencing unprecedented growth, you need to make sure that you and your partner are prepared for this.

 

 

 

After working with couples from all backgrounds and walks of life, we found that the best results come when couples are prepared. To help you prepare for counseling for couples, we created this resource to help you prepare.

 

Think about what is actually needed to work

Although you may have decided to consult because of some stressful issues, it's worth some time to think about your long happiness. You want to know what kind of life you want to build or restore with your partner. Consider your individual shortcomings (this can be difficult - most of us find it difficult to recognize the problems that we may have) and be willing to discuss these publicly in your counseling session.

 

Write anything suitable for discussion at your session

You may experience a lot of conflict with your partner right now, and this can be difficult. While you may have developed patterns to deal with it, such as fighting or hiding from it, try to write down how you feel and what triggered the conflict and what you did about it. This type of logs can be very useful for the processor.

 

Think about what you love from your partner and what hurts you the most

Again, this may include writing some basic things, but it's important to decide what you like or love with your partner and find what you want to save and restore. Also, if your partner is engaged in activities or behavior that hurt you, record it.

 

The reason for this is that during a treatment session with your couples counselor, there will be a lot going on. You may find it difficult to remember some details. But if you have things written, you'll find it much easier to keep them in mind and discuss them.

 

Get introspection

Much of the useful work before a counseling session for couples involves introspection. When you are introspective, you are dealing with your thoughts on key issues and choosing what to focus on. Try to shift your perspective to see things from the perspective of partners before the session.

 

This can give you a good idea of ​​why they feel the way they feel. You may also want to try an exercise like mindfulness. Mindfulness gives you concentration and space to be as present as possible. It can be a very useful tool not only to prepare you before treatment but in other parts of your life.

 

 

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Think about couples advice? Contact us today

Couples counseling is a very effective tool used by couples around the world to achieve the kind of results they cannot get alone.

 

At CFHP, we work with all types of couples, including heterosexual couples, homosexual couples, long-term de facto couples, married couples, and parents with young families. We have helped couples to work through a variety of conflict and personal issues, including issues of trust, infidelity, childhood trauma, and anger.

 

Source: thepsychologyhub.com.au/childhood-and-adolescence
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review 2019-10-09 13:38
Manage your anger | adhd diagnosis Brisbane

Manage your anger

Once you fully understand the impact of uncontrolled and unsolved anger, it is clear to see how important anger management is. Anger management is a process by which you learn new ways to deal with your feelings, and new skills to recognize anger warning signs to help you deal with angry feelings and emotions in a constructive and positive way.

 

 

counseling

The task here is not to suppress anger or make your anger disappear. Remember that anger is actually a healthy emotion. At CFHP psychologists use anger management and counseling techniques to help you and guide you towards understanding and managing your anger in a healthy and constructive way.

 

Anger management techniques teach you how to identify the causes of your anger early and solve these problems in a way that meets your needs firmly, not aggressively. By understanding triggers as well as your physiological response, you can control your anger and learn how to respond to situations, rather than to respond to them.

 

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Although there are many ways you can learn to manage your anger on your own, it may be helpful to find guidance with a counselor or psychologist in Brisbane - especially if your anger is due to past unresolved problems and finding strong expression or violent methods.

counseling relationships

Here are signs that you may need professional help. If you often find yourself frankly experiencing any of these situations, anger management counseling will be able to make a fundamental change in your life and relationships.

 

  • You have a problem with the authorities and the law
  • You often feel that you are blocking or biting your tongue
  • You have many arguments with people around you, especially those closest to you like your partner, your parents, children or colleagues
  • Find yourself involved in battles
  • You are violent towards your partner or children
  • You threaten violence to people or property
  • You have a spree where things break
  • You lose your temper when driving and become reckless
  • Feel a little out of control

 

 

Source: thepsychologyhub.com.au/adults-and-families
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