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review 2017-09-12 19:33
Alice in Zombieland (would definitely be the first to die)
Alice in Zombieland - Gena Showalter

Sorry this review is late in coming, but this was a buddy read for August and I wanted no spoilers. 

 

So...this book...yeah....NO. JUST NO.

 

Ali is everything a Mary Sue can be. She's pretty in a painful Arian way. She's stupid in short-bus, first to die, trip her and save yourself ways. She has no redeeming qualities. She is also the kind of girl that falls for the abusive asshole just because he's pretty. She makes me sick.

 

Cole is your typical handles-everything-with-his-fists guy. He's gorgeous, of course. But you cannot pretty up this guy's insides. He's just nasty. He gets his way at school by glaring, rage and fear. Him and his posse don't even seem to know what a dress code is, wearing chains and sleeves of tattoos. And ankle monitors. Wtf? He says terrible things to people, he's bossy, and he's grabby if you attempt to walk away. He will also stick you in his car and drive you around but not tell you where you are going. Yes, folks, he's kidnappy. 

 

Now, the "zombies" in this book are the weirdest imagining of them I have ever come across. Soul eating ghost things that can only be seen by special snowflakes. Of course Ali is one. And of course she ends up being like and Alpha zombie hunter with uber super powers the likes of which have never been seen. 

 

Yet I swear she never sleeps. She should be dead. It's just not humanly possible to go that long without sleep, folks.

 

And with everyone in her life dying, what does Ali learn? To "live life", or in Ali speak, fuck her boyfriend, the abusive, two-faced, half-the-time-I-hate-you Cole. Her friend says she has kidney failure and the ONLY thing Ali learns is "I need to get busy with Cole because we may not have much time". Man, her priorities. Totally ignoring the fact zombies are coming out of the woodwork every night to eat her and half her loved ones are now buried. She needs to bang. God, she was sickening in her shallow one-dimensionalness. Like, Bella Swan shallow. 

 

The plot was lacking and stupid. The only character I liked was her terminally ill best friend. There was a guy named Frostie. Yes, that was his name. Did we ever learn his real name? No. Because that's just how stupid and juvenile this whole adventure down the rabbit hole was. In no way was this a Wonderland tale. It was a poorly written, cliche teen drama that makes The Vampire Diaries look deep. 

 

Ugh. I cannot believe I bought the trilogy.

 

 

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review 2017-08-04 14:33
Alice in Zombieland
Alice in Zombieland - Gena Showalter

...is stupid.

 

Will review later. She made my head hurt.

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review 2017-05-17 21:51
The Unexpected Everything (makes me sleepy)
The Unexpected Everything - Morgan Matson

I'm DNFing this at 200 pages because it's boring me so badly I want to go to sleep. There is nothing creative or compelling that's hooking me. I hate feeling forced to read something. Plus, Andie is just another typical teen with "tight lip" syndrome. She just refuses to speak about anything deep or meaningful and then is utterly baffled when relationships fizzle. All the characters are flat and bland. No depth. No dimension. It's like the author watched a bunch of CW and Freeform dramas and thought that's what teenagers are really like. Not for me.

 

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review 2017-05-09 22:09
Piper Perish
Piper Perish - Kayla Cagan

I checked this out of the library because the cover was so pretty. And it's about teen artists. But the main character is so damn dense I cannot stand her. No, honey, you didn't make your boyfriend gay by looking boyish. No, sweetie, he won't like girls if you have bigger boobs. It doesn't work that way. So I am not going to waste any more time on this. If at 100 pages I still cannot stand the story, then I'm out. I have many more books to read. 

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review 2017-04-29 03:58
THE DATING TUTOR by Melissa Frost
The Dating Tutor - Melissa Frost
  Cute high school romance with Ellie asking best friend Alec to tutor her for dating Jake. Alec does it but his unacknowledged feelings for Ellie out come.

I liked Alec, Ellie, and Jake. They get themselves upset because they are all trying to hide their true feelings. They are likable and totally relatable.

I want to read more of this series.
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