Notice to Readers:*Do you want to cure yourself of the sudden urge to splurge on mostly useless but highly coveted items, such as Starbucks coffee, Cinnabon rolls and Johnny Depp?*Tired of being fooled by corporate artisan marketing weasels, and their super deluxe handcrafted trickery?*Are you willing to destroy your desire to ever read another book, freeing up valuable time to knit infant socks and iPad cozies for the wee ones?Then this collection of fifty letters might be the book for you! Or not. Regardless, be forewarned there are serious yet highly amusing (to others) side effects, such as:Severe eye strain, extreme irritability, sleeplessness, The Willies, anxiety, stomach upset, numbness or tingling in the extremities, the heartbreak of psoriasis, moderate hair loss (from pulling it out), and an overpowering urge to smash Kindle screens. Please note any or all symptoms can occur after only one letter. Directions:Use in moderation. Do not read more than two letters in any one sitting, and allow plenty of rest between sessions to minimize heartburn. Take with plenty of water (mixed with vodka), and avoid operating heavy machinery, as the desire to destroy something may be overwhelming. Take only as not directed.Serving size: One to two lettersServings per book: It's fifty letters - do the math!! Read what people are saying:"Am I happy about this book being published? Yes, I’m very happy . . . that it’s finally over.” Author’s wife "I don’t know what this guy’s got, but he definitely has something special . . . probably cholera or some type of brain infection, most likely.” Albert Schweigert “As they say in the business, he’s got the ‘it’ factor. I’m sorry – did I say ‘it?’ I meant ‘twit’ instead; he definitely has the ‘twit’ factor.” Simon Cowbell “It took three years to write this? What the hell?” Author’s nephew “I suppose we’ll have to buy the damn thing or he’ll be offended.” Author’s Dad “This thing costs three dollars? What a ripoff!” Author’s best friend "Monty Python is probably turning over in his grave." Author's sister and brother-in-law “If I only had three dollars left . . . I would definitely spend it on this book.” The author