Johnny Freak Show is in a fix (well, several fixes really) and his friends aren’t helping. Try as he might, the teenage holy grail (i.e., the getting of the leg over); well, it just isn’t happening. Starting in school, and then over time escalating to the pub, his luck remains consistently dire. Beer helps initially of course, but in the end serves merely to deaden the pain of his perpetual disappointment. Will he ultimately prevail? Or is he destined to live the life of a reluctant Eunuch?

Accompany Johnny as he wallows through the personal minefield of ignominy that defines his existence. Experience with him the horror of involuntary erectile 'situations' and ginormous exploding carbuncles. See how a dastardly linguistic affliction conspires to muddy his amorous waters at the eleventh hour. Observe how he arrives at the eventual conclusion that Rock Star Demi Gods are, when all is said and done, not really all that they think they are. And, in addition to all of this also, please take on board the following;

- That folk musicians are, on the whole, not to be trusted.
- That David Bowie at Slane in 1987 was woeful. Truly woeful.
- That Citroen Diane’s are decidedly untrustworthy rust buckets.
- That if Bob Geldof is around, you’ll never need to worry about excretory mishaps. Bob Geldof has it sorted.
- That certain businessmen need to take immediate stock of their questionable attitudes.
- That you should never trust an itinerant who tries to sell you a horse.
- That being consummately good at pool is quite possibly all you’ll ever need to get on in life.
- That If you’re looking for crushing humiliation, you need look no further than The Grove in St. Paul’s.
- That older women, generally speaking, never allow gilt edged opportunities for coitus to pass.

Cryptic? Don’t worry, just download the book and all will be revealed.

Johnny Freak Show is the first of a series of three volumes that chart Johnny's rib-ticklingly pathetic and sorry adventures in Dublin in the mid to late 1980’s. As the first in a series of three, the book covers the years between 1984 and 1988. The next instalment, which is due in early-2015, covers the next four years of Johnny's life, which to a large degree, are spent chasing his tail somewhat similarly in London. Suffice it to say that things don’t improve much, despite the change of scenery and Johnny's advancing years.